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Forum: Stillbirth


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April 2nd, 2007, 04:39 PM
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 27
Hi ladies. My daughter was stillborn about 3 weeks ago. March 9. I feel so empty, I want a baby in my arms. I would never replace Emilee, I couldn't do that. She is my daughter, my first born. But I yearn to be pregnant again. I want it to bad in my heart to have a child to hold and love and watch grow. My SO and I have discussed TTC. We are ready to try again, and I have healed up from the birth *down there*. I think that 9 months of being pregnant will give me some joy and help me to heal from the loss of Emilee. I just don't know how soon I can get pregnant after giving birth. Do I have to wait until I have a period, before I am fertile again? Or are you fertile as soon as you give birth? I know doctors say to wait 3 months-6 months, but when is your body psychically capable of getting pregnant again??

<span style="font-family:Impact">Stephanie</span>
Mommy to Emilee, my baby girl, born sleeping on March 9, 2007. 4 lbs, 14 oz, 19 inches long.

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April 2nd, 2007, 05:31 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
It honestly really depends on your body and when you ovulate. I had my first post-partum period 27 days after delivery. DH and I, however, waited 4 months to TTC. We had one unsuccessful cycle and then became pregnant. I have wanted my own child since I was 7 (and my youngest brother was born), and the idea of waiting a few months AND the nine months of pregnancy was kind of hard for me to deal with. I wanted a baby RIGHT NOW.

Here is something to consider: Pregnancy does a lot more to your body than the "damage" that delivery does to sensitive areas. That was part of the reason we waited like we did, to give my body time to recover some of the nutrients that pregnancy had taken from it.

I thought the same as you: that getting pregnant would bring me some joy. However, this pregnancy has been so much more emotionally stressful than my last one, and I hadn't really considered that it would be. I would suggest that you wait a few months, just to let your loss sink in and heal from it a little. When your loss is so fresh, it will only make the emotional stress of the pregnancy harder. While it's been good to have something to look forward to, I'm not as excited about my pregnancy this time around. As my due date approaches, I find myself falling into depressions more often. I hadn't expected that.

But in the end, only you are really the one to tell if you're ready to get pregnant again.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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April 3rd, 2007, 06:35 PM
Mom2LinaNangels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,170
I am so sorry for your loss. Jordyn was stillborn at 38 weeks by vaginal delivery and I was told wait 3 months before trying again. I did wait and was pregnant the 2nd month ttc. I lost the baby at 12 weeks, no it was not because I got pregnant again, it was genetic. I then got pregnant a few months later and 18 long months after my stillborn daughter was born my live daughter was born. I am actually glad that I had them that far apart. I felt I had time to grieve for Jordyn. I wanted another baby soooo bad, but in the end it worked out the best for me. I do have a friend who lost her son in December and after 2 periods she was pregnant again. I think it is up to you really and I would wait maybe a few months. Your uterus was just stretched. Well again I am sorry and best of luck ttc when you do.

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April 4th, 2007, 03:32 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,715
I am so very sorry for your loss and my heart truly goes out to you. You must be in so much pain.

We waited a few months to ttc again. I didn't want to, but the Dr. said so. You have to follow what your Dr. tells you because only they know your story and what went on during your delivery etc... Your physical body does need time to heal and you need time emotionally too.
What nobody talks about is a mothers NEED for feeling pregnant. Maybe it's hormonal, but you just have such a strong desire to feel pregnant because the process was taken from you and it was such a shock to your system. Like having an appendage removed. It was your life inside of you that is no longer there and no longer anywhere where you can physically touch her. That takes a while to heal from too.

Also, a new pregnancy will be exciting in one way, but it won't even make a dent in your grief of your lost little angel baby. They are two different babies and a new pregnancy won't bring back other baby. The feelings are totally different. I still cry all the time for Macy and how much I miss her doesn't go away.
I am so excited, but have been so scared this pregnancy and it has taken us until just recently to start planning for this little girl to be born because we just kind of assumed I would lose her. With my son, I was instantly bonded to him from the second I got pg. With Macy, I felt a bond soon, then she was taken from us. This pg, it was hard to bond feeling so scared and removed like she was going to be lost too.

I hope you get the answers you are looking for but only you know what is best for you.
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April 15th, 2007, 03:31 PM
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 50
I am so sorry for you loss. I felt the same way after I lost my son at 22 weeks. My doctor said that I should wait 3 months but knew I would not so when my body was ready it would happen.

I was pregnant again 6 weeks later after my first cycle. I am not 6 and a half months pregnant and really anxious for my baby girl to be here.

My advise would be to follow your heart.

Hope this helps.
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April 16th, 2007, 12:35 AM
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 27
Thanks so much for your replies ladies. I know my body probably needs more time to whip itself back into shape. And to top it off, my SO is having some really bad times right now dealing with Emilee's death. I may be ready to try again, but I realize now that he definately is NOT. I have decided to wait. To wait until our lives begin to come back to some sort of normalcy. We need to get back on track. Everything is too cray right now. There is no need to rush back into this, as much as I want to be pregnant again, I know I have plenty of time for it...so here's to waiting to ttc.
<span style="font-family:Impact">Stephanie</span>
Mommy to Emilee, my baby girl, born sleeping on March 9, 2007. 4 lbs, 14 oz, 19 inches long.

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April 16th, 2007, 09:37 AM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Upper Michigan
Posts: 14,600
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I had my first post-partum period 10 weeks after I delivered Hope. I didn't ovulate the first five cycles though. We successfully conceived on my first normal cycle.

It didn't take that long, in hindsight, but at the time I was impatient. DH was worried, though. I finally stopped praying for a baby, and prayed that God would allow us to conceive only when DH was ready. As always in the past, God's timing was perfect.
~Jennifer, wife of one, mother of many

Robert: 20 Raechel: 18 Daniel: 15 Joseph: 13 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 7 Lucy Marie: 5 John Anthony: 2 AND Baby due Dec. 2015

Always Missing our Angels: Hope (7-8-06 @36w); Francis (7-4-12 @12w); Charlie (1-19-15 @ 6w)

Congratulations Raechel and Kaleb, married May, 2015

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April 22nd, 2007, 02:25 PM
Loving My Piglets
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: England, UK
Posts: 34,596
Me and DF started trying again before my period came as we wanted to be pregnant again so bad, they say you are most fertile when you have had a baby but it took us 5 months to conceive again.
..together for 12 years..

R (10) 24.04.06 - our little angel
R (9) 07.06.07
L (8) 05.06.08
L (6) 26.04.10
C (3) 15.02.13

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