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Forum: Stillbirth


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April 16th, 2007, 12:31 AM
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 27
Oh girls. My life is out of control. We lost Emilee just over a month ago. I am dealing with it as best I can. I know I can make it and I know everything will be okay someday. But my SO is a different story. He is not doing well at all. I guess I should have been paying more attention to his emtions. He is talking about killing himself. He says it is the only way out of the pain. He says he cannot take the hurt. He has NO HOPE. None. Zip. No hope for any sort of future. Nothing. He is miserable. I don't know what to do. He really seems to want to end his life. I am taking him in tomorrow for a crisis appt. at our counseling center. This is a guy that before all of this never knew what the word "sad" or "depressed" meant. He was happy go lucky, always happy, always smiling, just loved life. I feel like life has gotten out of control. I am so worried about him. Have any of you had this happen to your DH or SO? It's so hard to see him have all this pain and not know how to cope with it the way I know how. He has never lost anyone before, as I have. He doesn't understand there is hope!!
<span style="font-family:Impact">Stephanie</span>
Mommy to Emilee, my baby girl, born sleeping on March 9, 2007. 4 lbs, 14 oz, 19 inches long.

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April 16th, 2007, 07:34 AM
tonyarn's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Marion, Iowa
Posts: 14,544
I'll keep him in my prayers. (((hugs)))

My DH didn't really seem to have any emotion after Tucker died, it was all me, so I can't really help you.

Benjamin 2/2/09

***site contains pictures***
I have 3 angels waiting for me in heaven.
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April 16th, 2007, 09:31 AM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Upper Michigan
Posts: 14,600
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I am so glad that your SO has talked to you about this, and that he has you to help him. My DH took Hope's death much harder than I did at first. I had the work of labor to get through, but he just felt helpless. I had the priveledge of carrying our daughter for nine months, but he had no such connection with her. In a way, I came to realize that his loss was more total than mine. It made it even worse that cards, phone calls, and all the well-meaning comments were more or less directed at me. People were more concerned for my physical well-being and emotional as well, so he was kinda left out.

If you can get him through this crisis, I really feel he will be able to find hope again. My thoughts and prayers will be with you both.
~Jennifer, wife of one, mother of many

Robert: 20 Raechel: 18 Daniel: 15 Joseph: 13 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 7 Lucy Marie: 5 John Anthony: 2 AND Baby due Dec. 2015

Always Missing our Angels: Hope (7-8-06 @36w); Francis (7-4-12 @12w); Charlie (1-19-15 @ 6w)

Congratulations Raechel and Kaleb, married May, 2015

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April 22nd, 2007, 08:17 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,715
Is everything ok? Did you get to the counseling?
I will pray your SO finds some peace and learns that suicide is definitely not the answer to ending pain.
Please check in.
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April 25th, 2007, 09:55 PM
Posts: n/a
hope you and dh are ok... sorry for your loss.. but i dont want you or your dh to take urs lifes... hope to see you update.. take care
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April 26th, 2007, 11:17 AM
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 27
Hello ladies. Sorry I haven't been back to update in a few days. Everything has been pretty stressful. I ended up bringing him to an inpatient facility in Tulsa on Monday night. He stayed there until Saturday. It helped A LOT. He got counseling and group therapy from 8 am to 9pm every single day. And they put him on an anti-depressant. So he came home feeling much better, and I really see the old Jeremy again. He has found hope and he has found the will to live again. I am very proud of him. He understands now that suicide is not an acceptable answer. Thank you all for your input and warm wishes. You hvae no idea how much it means to me to have this board.
<span style="font-family:Impact">Stephanie</span>
Mommy to Emilee, my baby girl, born sleeping on March 9, 2007. 4 lbs, 14 oz, 19 inches long.

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