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having a good day/ feeling guilty?

Forum: Stillbirth


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May 16th, 2007, 04:40 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,632
Is it normal to be having a good day and then feel guilty all at the same time. Dh and I were goofing off and wrestling each other. I have had a pretty good day so far and now that night time is approaching I feel like I am not a good mom because I should still be so sad. I mean I know I have my sad times, but now I can talk to people much easier and tell them about my pregnancy and my sweet Abigail. I have noticed that I do it without as many tears now, but later the tears come and I think how I wish I had good stories to tell, about her poo'ing all over the bed or the carpet while I am changing her and all of those things that seem so insignificant to others. It seems like some days are really good and the bad days are really bad. It really all depends on what kind of dreams I have when I go to bed. I hope that makes some sense.
Thank you Mistyx5 for my siggy.

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May 17th, 2007, 06:59 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Sunnydale
Posts: 1,323
Yes it's normal. Don't feel guilty at all! I like to think that it could be Abigail giving you those good days. So, when you are having a good day, just think that Abigail is watching over you and trying to help you heal. She is saying - "I love you mommy always and I want you to move on and enjoy life. I will never leave your side." This is what I keep thinking Caiden is saying. Big Hugs!
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May 17th, 2007, 07:43 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
It is normal to feel guilty.

It reminds me of a scene from the movie "Raising Helen." The kids parents have both just died recently. The son used to play basketball with his father, but has since stopped. When Helen asks him why he doesn't want to play basketball, the boy says something to the effect that he didn't want to play and have fun, and then have his dad look down and be sad that he couldn't play too. I don't remember what Helen said exactly, but something to the effect that, the last thing in the world his dad would want is him to be so miserable just because he wasn't there.

I think the same thing holds true for us. We're NOT forgetting our angels if we have good moments and good days. They want us to be happy. They know we will always love them and miss them, but the last thing they would want for us is for us to be miserable for the rest of our lives just because they aren't here.

But that doesn't mean you shouldn't cry when you need to!

Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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May 17th, 2007, 04:48 PM
MyAngelHayden's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: The Jersey Shore
Posts: 358
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<span style="font-family:Tahoma">It's completely normal to feel guilty! I was the same way for awhile after I lost Hayden. If I would smile or laugh for a minute the next I would cry because I felt guilty for enjoying myself when my baby had died. I also felt guilty if I wasn't doing something in memory of her or talking about her. I would think, wow I am a bad mother!

<div align="center"><span style="font-family:Georgia">Heather(21) ~ Mommy to Angel Hayden</span>

*Hayden's Memorial Myspace*

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May 21st, 2007, 11:17 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,715
I was the same way for a long time. I think I can be happy now w/out feeling guilty especially because I know she would want me to be happy and not so sad all the time... Now, of course, I'm crying...

I can also be crying and grieving for her and be happy at the same time. That is some strange emotions to have all at once...
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