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People are so mean

Forum: Stillbirth


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January 15th, 2008, 12:45 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SW FL
Posts: 8,785
I have decided to try to go see a psychologist/counselor/therapist. I don't feel like I can talk openly with alot of people I talk to without being judged. It is sad that I have to seek professional help because my family is sooooo *()**. I was calling around to a few that were recommended and I ran into this one secretary lady, let's call her Beyatch.

Beyatch answered the phone at the mental care place and I told her I would like to speak with someone about what was going on in my life and what did I needed to do to get an appointment. She asked me what I wanted to talk about and I told her I wasn't comfortable with talking to a secretary about this. Then she said that she wanted to know so she could pair me with the right person. I told her I lost a child (amoung other issues in my life) and left it at that. Then she was like, OMG, how old was your child? I told her that he was stillborn. And then she says,

"Oh, honey. You didn't lose a child. You lost a fetus. There is no reason for you to see a counselor."

I insisted that I still wanted to see one. I want to speak with her bosses about what she said too. That is one of the only reasons I didn't cuss her a s s out.

WHAT?!?!? Are you freaking KIDDING ME?! I didn't lose a child????? I love that baby just as much as if he was alive. He grew in me for 10 months! I don't have a reason to see a counselor? ARE YOU KIDDING?!?!??! I can't wait to see this woman face 2 face. I am usually nice to strangers, but after I see the counselor, I have a few choice words for her a s s.
Leann <3 Hector
My trio: Alyssa 7, Tristan 4.75, Gavin 1.5

I am a mixture of all that and a bag of chips... IJS

Rest In Peace Jennifer <3

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January 15th, 2008, 09:23 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
OH MY GOSH!! I cannot believe anyone would say that! I cannot believe you didn't cuss her out right then and there! She OBVIOUSLY is not a mother. And if she is, I just can't believe it.

I'm so sorry! How horrible! How could anyone say that beautiful baby Dominic wasn't a baby?! He IS your child. Ugh... that just makes me fuming!

Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
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January 16th, 2008, 07:10 AM
Jaidynsmum's Avatar Dreams do come true....
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 15,647
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I'd take his picture to her show her his beautiful sweet face and tell her to say that he isn't a child. I'd complain about her attitude, she is in the wrong job!
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January 16th, 2008, 10:49 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,632
I am so MAD just reading this. She has no business working in a place like that. I think her attitute, lack of compassion would fit in much better with walmart employees. I had a bad time there with one of their workers, but not quite this bad. I hope you do something to let her know how wrong she is! OMG, I cant tell you how much this upsets me, I can only imagine how you were feeling when she said that. Good luck with finding a great counselor to help you through some of this. I am still looking for one that I am comfortable with.
Thank you Mistyx5 for my siggy.

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January 16th, 2008, 01:06 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I used to BE a Walmart employee....

I had a harder time with customers. There was one time that I was talking to a lady about Cora. She'd lost twins, so she understood. Well, after she left, a random guy who had overheard walked up and told me that since she never breathed, she never had a soul, so I was just grieving flesh not a child.

This was less than 2 months after losing her. If I hadn't been on the clock I would have decked him.

Rhonda: I don't think that attitude fits in anywhere. Even Walmart employees should be nice. Or at least polite.

Leann: Honey, I'm so sorry. I agree, that woman shouldn't be in a job like that. Having been a student of psychology I can say that it doesn't matter what the person says that the cause of the depression/anxiety is, the thing that matters is that it is there. Not only that but if you're not comfortable talking to a secretary about your PRIVATE issues, she should respect that. Make sure you file a LOUD complaint!!
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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January 16th, 2008, 03:34 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,632
Oh Brittanie, I wasn't trying to say that it should be allowed anywhere. I just refuse to shop at the walmart by me, because I was getting Abby's pictures printed and the guy in the back was looking at me like I was crazy and I overheard him saying "why would you want a picture of a dead baby". Of course this was right after I lost her and I think I could have really hurt this guy. People are extremely insensitive, but we cant change the way others feel. Its something they have to experience to "know". I hope that didn't offend you, that wasn't my intent.

I just meant that it is even more horrible of someone that works in an office that is there to help people mentally and emotionally to treat her like that.

Sorry if I offended anyone with my previous post.
Thank you Mistyx5 for my siggy.

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January 16th, 2008, 10:01 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Nah, it's okay. I'm not offended. =p

I can't believe he said that!! I only got pictures of Cora printed at the Walmart because I knew the girls who worked there and trusted them implicitly. It took me a year. I only printed them on my home computer before that because I was afraid of reactions like that.

I guess people don't understand why you want pictures until it's YOUR baby and it's ALL you have.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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January 17th, 2008, 07:35 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,632
Good I am so glad. You know you were one of the first ones to talk to me after Abby passed. You are the last person I want to p*** off!
I have my sister print them off for me now. She has her own photography shop now and so it is much easier that way, and I know that she handles them with care. At this point in time, I would really let someone have it for a comment like that. I know I wouldn't hold back now. I am not a violent person, but I would really put them in their place.

Thank you Mistyx5 for my siggy.

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January 17th, 2008, 09:48 AM
Mom 2 Avery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 1,612
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Aren't people AMAZING!
There was one lady that said she expected to see a "bloody mass" when I opened Avery's pictures.
(At 22 weeks?!!!)

The real clencher was my sister.
The Mother's Day after I lost Avery, my sister and I were talking about what gifts she wanted.
I asked, "What are you getting ME for Mother's Day?"
She said, "Why, you're not a mother."
I could have killed her!!!

I'm so very sorry people are so...I can't even think of the word...
I just hope they don't have to learn first hand like we did!!!!

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January 17th, 2008, 01:18 PM
cam & sami's mom's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Guysville, Ohio
Posts: 681
I cannot believe she treated you like that. First off, it is none of her business why you want to see someone and she should have respected your privacy. Even the secretaries at those places are supposed to be trained and at the least are expected to have some human compassion. I hope the counselor you get to see is good.

Cameron (3-3-99 to 10-30-08)
Samantha (11-15-03)
+ 6 angels


"You don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."

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January 18th, 2008, 10:26 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 9,769
I think people as a mass majority just are idiots. LOL there are good people out there but they seem to be few and far between. My biggest I want to deck somebody moment was when someone asked me about my tattoo (Calypso's name, footprint, handprint, and dates) and the conversation started out great, really sympathetic person. When they asked what she died of I told her an intestinal infection. And she goes 'What didn't you sanitize all the bottles BEFORE taking them to the nicu!?' HINTING at the fact I GAVE HER NEC AND KILLED HER!! I was flaming mad!
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January 24th, 2008, 07:31 PM
Jodi Dawn's Avatar Host of the Jan-July 05 P
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Location: Pennsylvania
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I am lurking. But wow that lady was rude. I hope you get to talk to her boss and tell them how she acted and what rude remark she made.
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