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Dominic's Results Explained Finally

Forum: Stillbirth


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January 17th, 2008, 04:03 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SW FL
Posts: 8,785
Well, I went to my OB today. He explained the test results to me. All of my blood work was normal. It looks like he died as result of partial placenta abruption.


I thought they could have told me that when he was born, but I guess not. Usually there is bleeding associated with it, but I had none. You know, it makes sense. I know exactly when my placenta came off of my uterus, I felt a pop like when your water breaks and was waiting for my water to fall out. Then I chalked it up to a muscle or liagment from me moving the wrong way. Even if I would have went right that second, I live over an hour from the nearest hospital and it wouldn't have made a difference. I also got 13 months of the nuvaring because I am not going to risk getting preggo again with NFP or the awareness method, altho I would really rather do one of those. I was considering starting TTC again in April, but now I am not so sure. I have a 10-17% chance it could happen again. I dunno if I am willing to take those odds and risk it. Hell, with my luck it will happen again. The nurse at my OB apt was new and didn't know my story and she knew I was there for my post partum appointment and asked me how the baby was. I told her he was stillborn. She apologized knowing she made the mistake of not reading my file. She was really young, so judging by the look on her face, she will probably never go into another patient's room and ask them questions without reading the file. It's not that it bothered me, but you expect them to do their job, kwim?

After going to the OBs, I went to the WIC office to pick up Alyssa's checks. I haven't been there since Dominic was born and I had to tell them he was stillborn. The lady looked at me and said, "Ok." Now keep in mind, this lady barely speaks english. She then said she would set up an apt for me to bring baby in to get him certified. I repeated, He was stillborn. She said to me, "That is fine. He can still get formula." I must have looked at her like she had 100 heads because she asked me what was wrong. I then said, Do you know what stillborn is? She said no. I really started to get enraged (given all the stupidity and insensitivity I have encountered all week). You would think WIC would know what a stillborn is. I then said to her VERY LOUD so the whole place can hear me (her bosses came out), "YOU DON"T KNOW WHAT A STILLBORN IS????? HE WAS DEAD WHEN HE WAS BORN. HE NEVER TOOK A BREATH. HE DIED BEFORE HE WAS BORN. CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? HE DIED. PERIOD. DOT. DO THEY NOT EDUCATE YOU BEFORE THEY PUT YOU OUT HERE? DO YOU EVEN HAVE A CITIZENSHIP? CAN YOU EVEN SAY STILLBORN? HOW IS MY DEAD BABY GOING TO DRINK FORMULA? I WAS GOING TO BF IF YOU EVEN ASKED." I started crying. They other lady behind the counter still had to tell her in spanish just so she could understand. Now, I have nothing against hispanics, my husband is and so are my children. But that really pissed me off. Then she proceed to ask why he died and I got mad because it is none of their business. I told her I wanted to speak with her boss. Then they started to harass me because I needed to bring in proof that he was born dead in a hospital or they had to call CPS because I might have dumped him. I was like, "Do you want to see his pictures? I have plenty of proof." I was so mad I could not think at the time. The hospital gave me no official papers for him. In their eyes, he never existed, that is what my nurse told me (not being mean, because I asked). They reported everything to the state of Florida. I have his cremation certificate. We have a vital statistics in our HRS place, so they told me to go over their to get a birth certificate. I just left. I did go to vital statistics and they told me that they just started giving birth certificates for stillborns. It is kinda a birth and death certificate all in one. I think they called it a "Birth Certificate that results in Stillbirth." That made me happy. I was upset because I didn't get anything to recognize him.

I am a grieving mom and being treated like a street ho criminal.
Leann <3 Hector
My trio: Alyssa 7, Tristan 4.75, Gavin 1.5

I am a mixture of all that and a bag of chips... IJS

Rest In Peace Jennifer <3

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January 17th, 2008, 05:50 PM
PuNkLiVz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Miami
Posts: 2,292
man on man if I had been there with you that woman would probably have gotten a black eye and I would have probably been arrested. I am so sorry that some people are so freeekin ignorant. I am glad that you have a reason for what happened. I will pray that next time this wont happen, and I will never forget Dominic, he will always be in my heart, and in my prayers. He will always be loved, and I am here if you ever want to talk, don't forget that. I hope you will stop blaming yourself now, it tears me up knowing that you do that to yourself. He was meant to be an angel. He's a beautiful boy, and nobody can EVER take away him being born, and having his time here with you.

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January 17th, 2008, 11:55 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
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Oh honey, I'm sorry. I wasn't on WIC when I lost Cora. I would have qualified, but I never got around to applying. I'm glad I didn't. I had a hard enough time when I had to give them my obstetric history and the lady asked where the older baby was.

Can't you see that I wrote down STILLBORN????

And when I went in to one of my appointments when I was pregnant with Erin I made reference to my previous pregnancy and the nurse asked "How old is your other child?"

Uh, yeah, it's written right there in the file in your hand.

I'm sorry honey. I'm glad you're getting a certificate though. I haven't gotten around to ordering Cora's yet. I don't know that I ever will. I don't feel like I need a piece of paper. But I can totally understand why it made you happy.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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February 3rd, 2008, 03:31 PM
sarahp's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: An Aussie living in California
Posts: 0
Gees, I just got tears in my eyes for you. I'm so so so sorry you had to go through that, it's so unfair all the pain you have to go through for so long after a still birth. I HATED when people asked how the baby was after we lost Joshua, especially after the nurses should have read my file. I can't imagine having to explain it to some idiot in detail though! Even if she didn't understand, you think she would have realised you were getting upset and asked someone to help her.

Sorry sweetie, hugs.

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March 4th, 2008, 02:22 PM
Melissa02909's Avatar Super Mommy
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LeAnn: I want you to know how deeply your story has affected me. I have followed yor story since it began many months ago and was heartbroken to read your story. I was pregnant when you lost your son. His name is the same as my grandfathers. I think of your son often and pray he's looking down happily upon you and your family.


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March 4th, 2008, 02:51 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SW FL
Posts: 8,785
Thank you Melissa!

Congrats on your son!
Leann <3 Hector
My trio: Alyssa 7, Tristan 4.75, Gavin 1.5

I am a mixture of all that and a bag of chips... IJS

Rest In Peace Jennifer <3

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March 11th, 2008, 02:31 PM
Jodi Dawn's Avatar Host of the Jan-July 05 P
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wow. You think that working for WIC she would have to speak English or only deal with Spanish speaking clients. And then for them to harass you about not having any papers proving it. Didn't they hear and see your reaction. I am so sorry you had to go through that.
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March 11th, 2008, 10:59 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
OMG I am so sorry you had to deal with all that... I would have lost it completely. Holy smokes.... if she didn't know what stillborn was she should have asked, not kept on talking. And then to demand to see proof??? Wow. Just wow. Big hugs.

2 IVF babies and 1 surprise!
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