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Forum: Loss of a Child


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December 4th, 2008, 10:01 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 9,769
How are you doing sweetheart? I've been thinking about you
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December 8th, 2008, 10:16 PM
gabbie's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 462
You are so sweet. Thanks for thinking about me. I did change my name from iam2xcited to i luv angels because there was nothing I was excited about anymore. But I do LOVE angels

I have been so busy just trying to keep myself together. This time of year is so hard for me. I put my tree up but it still has no decorations on it and I just can't bring myself to do it. My DH has been doing most of the shopping for me. During the week I just drown myself in my work so I do not have to think about reality for awhile and on weekends I feel like I just want to stay in my p j's and sleep the weekend away. Everytime I try to do something for the holiday's I feel lost. When we went bring Alicia see Santa after it was over my heart just melted because we all went together and there was one person who was not there. It just feels like a piece of the puzzle is always missing and my heart just hurts.

It is so hard when people ask you how you are doing! This is the one time of year that my eyes swell up with tears and a lump grows in my throat and I softly answer my heart is hurting but I get by one day at time the best way I can.

It never fails around Christmas I get mad a her for leaving me. Because I want her here with me and she is not here with me. I find myself shopping for her and thinking about what would she like this year. Then I stop and think WOW she is having Christmas up above, how splendid and majestic it must be up there.


Mom to 3 Beautiful Girls

Shayla Maria (17)
Leah Justine (Forever 7)
Alicia Alessandra (1)
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December 9th, 2008, 01:00 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 9,769
I understand hun. This week numerous times I've sat down and bawled. I still am very excited about Christmas and I love it. But it's bittersweet at the same time.

I hate people asking how I'm doing because I'm not really ok. I'm getting by. but most people don't REALLY want to know all that.

I'm going to go change your username on the angel list right now so I have it in the future
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