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New here . . . Braeden's story I wrote down for the 1st time on his 4th bday

Forum: Loss of a Child


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April 4th, 2010, 09:45 PM
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 5
On Feb 26, 2006 I had a beautiful little boy we named Braeden Alexander, he was born way to early. I was only 23weeks pregnant when I started having severe back pain and went to labor and delivery 3 days in a row. I was told I was not dilating and that I was not having contractions that I was probably having muscle spasms in my lower back. On day four even after 3 days worth of reassurance I made one last trip to labor and delivery expecting to be told don't come back. My triage nurse was an angel and asked "did they check you yesterday?" and I said "no, only the first day" so the nurse checked me and and then left the room. When she came back 2 min later she brought my doc with her who just happened to be there for a delivery and when my doc checked me I heard words that no one that is 23 weeks pregnant wants to here "you are four cm dilated with ballooning membranes we cannot do anything but admit you and put you head down and give you some medicine that we hope will stop labor, do not move." I was admitted and within 10 min I was hooked to an IV and started to receive my first bag of magnesium sulfate. I spent all that day and the next laying head down, feet up feeling like my entire body was being ripped apart from the inside out. I was in and out of consciousness due to the high dosages of stadol and Demerol I was given to control my body shakes and pain, a side effect from the magnesium. During brief periods of consciousness between times when it was not safe to take more pain medicine I spoke with NICU doctor about the chances Braeden had of living and what kind of outlook he had if he did live, chances were not good for either, there were, however small, chances. sunday morning I woke up feeling a lot better and not having contractions. I got to sit up a little and my dosage of magnesium was lowered so I didn't need as much pain medicine. I did my hair and makeup and was finally feeling like everything might turn out ok. About two hours later it all started again, my contractions must have been bad because in a matter of minutes my room was filled with nurses and doctors telling me to let them know if I had to push. Sure enough about an hour later (what seemed like only minutes) I had to push. Every doctor, nurse, resident, medical student and NICU staff member were in my room that could fit. Braeden was born at 3:35 pm and weighed 1lb 2.2oz He was placed on the warmer tray and the doctors worked to try to get him breathing and he fought to take breaths but his lungs never fully expanded and he didn't respond to the steroids given to help lung inflation. I heard the doc day something then shake her and head and matt fell to the floor and I knew that Braeden would not make it. The doc gave me a choice and said that they could take him on up to the nicu and hook him up to a respirator but said that it would not do any good that he would prob die by the time they got up their or shortly after or she could give him to me to hold until he died. We held out baby boy for the next 1hr and 40 min until the nurse let us know that his heart was not longer beating. My mother-in-law, my father, my mother, matt, my brother, my sister, Jenny, Haley, my brother-in-law and Aunt-in-law all got to hold him for a few seconds while he was still with us. We spent the afternoon with our little boy then swaddled him and walked down the hall to the nursery where we handed him to the nurses and gave him one last kiss. That night I went home for the first time in 3 days to the place that was supposed to be his home too that he never saw. I have never been able to put all of this down in words before but I wanted to remember Braeden on his birthday this year, he would have been four years old. My mother went to take care of him 7 months later and I know that she is holding him and making sure that he knows how much I love him everyday. I couldn't ask for a better angel to watch over my angel in heaven. I love you Braeden and I love you Mom.
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April 5th, 2010, 01:26 PM
..Michelle..'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 1,299
I sobbed reading your story. Mine is similar to yours except Roman lived for 5 days and 14 hours after birth. He was born at home due to medical neglect (I was in hospital for 4 days prior and even though I was having contractions they sent me home).

God bless you for having the strength to write this on your angels birthday. May the Lord continue to watch over you and your family.

Michelle T.

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April 5th, 2010, 07:17 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 9,769
I'm so so sorry for your loss! My little girl was born at 29 weeks 5 days and lived for 23 days in 2007
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April 6th, 2010, 07:34 AM
Drakesmommy's Avatar My rainbow Twins are here
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 631
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I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Braeden. My little boy was born at 38 weeks and lived for 4 days in Feb 2006.

Thank you Jaidynsmum for my adorable siggy.

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April 12th, 2010, 08:09 PM
Jodi Dawn's Avatar Host of the Jan-July 05 P
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 25,747
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hugs hun. I am very sorry.
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May 17th, 2010, 06:48 PM
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Dallas, TX area
Posts: 107
I lost my son, ironically his name was Braeden Wiley, on Sept. 6, 2006 born at 26 weeks.

I understand where you are and anniversaries are always difficult. You are in my prayers.
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