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Forum: Loss of a Child


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  • 1 Post By MissingJoshua

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March 30th, 2011, 12:11 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 2,740
How do you respond.

I often have people say to me wow mom of three you are really busy. Or how many kids do you have? I feel like I should say no I have 4 or something along that line but I dont want to make people uncomfortable all the time and I have learned in the past that when I mention 4 kids or mention Dante people ask more questions then get uncomfortable once they learn he is dead.

So what do you say when refering to how many children you have?
MOM of 6!

Mom to Premies, IVF mom,
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March 30th, 2011, 01:00 AM
MellieB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Melbourne, Aust.
Posts: 64,110
I tell the truth. I've come to the conclusion that if the mention of my son makes someone else uncomfortable, then that's on them. However I do pre-empt most questions to avoid them being asked.

Thanks to Claire1979 for the amazing siggy.

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March 30th, 2011, 01:30 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Grand Rapids Michigan United States
Posts: 2,890
I hate that question. I usually say two. McKenzie had a identical twin sister Madison. she passed away at 5 months old due to her being born with a Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia and being born premature. I know it makes people uncomfortable but it also gets the word out about CDH.
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March 30th, 2011, 05:58 PM
Delekatala's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 3,628
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It depends on how I am feeling, some days I will say 5, but not mention Genevive passed away. other days I will tell the truth.
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March 31st, 2011, 11:51 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,054
For the most part I tell them I have two because, in my opinion, I do. If it's a random stranger that I'll never see again I just be as vague as possible without lying if they probe for details. If it's someone I'll know I'm going to get to know (like another wife from my husband's work) I'll tell them about Grace and explain the situation. I feel that because my husband and I are so open about our journey with our daughter more people are now educated about her condition and other neural tube defects as well.

If I were you, just answer how you feel comfortable. There is no right or wrong answer to this.
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April 25th, 2011, 12:29 PM
MissingJoshua's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 702
I was so proud of my son he will never be left out when someone ask how many kids i have....so when they ask I say "I have 3 ...one with wings and two with feet"
angelbabiesmama likes this.

Joshua mommy MISSES and LOVE you so much!!..Sunrise 2-22-05 Sunset 11-19-10...

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May 3rd, 2011, 09:30 AM
Brighteyed & Caffeinated
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,444
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I always include my Gracie in my number of children. She was here with me for almost 3.5 years; she'll be in my heart and in my mind for the rest of my life.
C, mommy to:
4 kids - 3 with feet, 1 with wings
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November 12th, 2012, 11:30 AM
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 121
Normally I saw three, the girl is 20, the boy is 19 and Baby would have been 18. Unless asked to clarify, I don't. Sometimes it's just easier to not have to explain everything, plus it still makes me cry. We lost Baby in 2010, he was 15 1/2 years old, I will not deny his existence but I don't like crying in front of everyone either.
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