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Forum: Loss of a Child


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March 11th, 2008, 09:07 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 9,769
I want to lay down a few notes for the good. There are numerous people who post here or just drop in and post without really reading or putting thought into things.

Anyone is welcome to support our ladies here at Loss of a Child but please please be respectful and read these guidelings.

1. Please NEVER NEVER say things like 'I would die if this happened to me' or 'I don't know how you are so strong'. We are living this, we do NOT have a choice, this is an extremely disrespectful thing to say.

2. Do NOT EVER claim you know why God took our children from us. NO ONE knows that besides God himself and frankly a lot of us just don't want to hear it.

3. Don't EVER EVER EVER EVER (I cannot stress this enough) tell someone who has living children to 'Focus on their living children'
Just because we are mourning does NOT mean we are neglecting our Children. It does NOT mean we don't love our Children. And just because we HAVE these children does not make up for the fact that we lost a child!

4. Do not ever compare the loss of our children with the loss of your pet. This has been said to me elsewhere online and in real life. This is just a horrible comparison and extremely horrible to us who've lost a child.

5. It IS ok to ask us questions about our children. We like to talk about them.

6. When we post pictures of our children please remember, many of our members lost children due to extreme prematurity, chromosonal disorders, or other issues that did affect how they looked during life and death. Many of our members may be very nervous and shy about posting their angel's pictures. I want to see nothing but support on any and all picture threads please.

7. Don't tell anyone it's time to be over it or stop being angry. Grief is very very personal and no one has a right to tell anyone else how to grieve.

8. This IS a Child LOSS board, just because we might post something good does NOT mean we are 'over' our children. I had this problem on Calypso's personal website earlier this year. I'd changed the song on her site and someone told me it was wonderful I was 'over it'

I really hope this doesn't offend anyone but I am going to protect the girls on this board and their angels ANYWAY I can no matter what. They've already suffered more then ANYONE ever needs to.
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July 11th, 2008, 11:38 AM
Melissa02909's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Kissimmee, Florida
Posts: 886
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Thanks for posting this. It's nice reminder about compassion and sensitivity.


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July 23rd, 2008, 08:20 PM
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 15
I think it is wonderful that you postes this. I suffered a miscrriage in April. I have found that people with good intentions often say the wrong thing, just feeling the need to say something. I wish these rules were in a card that moms could pass out as they go about their day and people say hurtful things with the best of intentions.
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February 21st, 2009, 06:58 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,304
I loved reading your guidelines! Wonderfully said.

Owen, Avery, Samantha and forever missing Jake born still 08/01/99.

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April 4th, 2010, 09:34 PM
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 5
I am new to the sight and these are great guidelines!!! Thank you Thank you!!
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