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morning sickness trigger???

Forum: Mommies With an Eating Disorder


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October 15th, 2010, 07:20 AM
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19
Hi girls im kind of new here but need some advice, first off here is my background info-

I've been anorexic since i was 13 when my step father started sexually abusing me, I got pregnant as a result of that at 16 and lost the child at 26 weeks when i was attacked again. My step father was sent to prison for 5 years and my mother threw me out - it was around that time that i began to self harm. At 18 i really began to struggle with controlling my anorexia and i developed bulimic tendencies. i went to rehab at 19 but it didn't stick, tried again 6 months later but again i relapsed and gave up. By 21 i had pretty must resigned myself to the fact that i would be stuck in that madness until it killed me. I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks - i hadn't had a period in 8 months so had no idea i was even pregnant until i lost it. as i was laying in the hospital bed i was so utterly ashamed of myself - until that moment i really didn't care if i lived or died, but i never even considered that my actions could hurt or indeed kill another person. i went straight from hospital to the priory and stayed there for 12 weeks. i have been in recovery for just over 3 years now with no relapses for 9 months.
Im 24 now and have recently moved to Ireland to be with my first real boyfriend and I just found out that im pregnant again. First off im petrified that something is going to go wrong and second im worried morning sickness will trigger my bulimia - one thing that has never really gone away, i don't act on it but it is definitely still there.

anyone out there who can help? any advice? be kind plz
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October 15th, 2010, 03:45 PM
alethia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 18,623
I'm sorry for all you've been through - i know how painful life can be. But Welcome to the group/board and congrats on your pregnancy.

My morning sickness didn't ever trigger my eating disorder - i actually felt really guilty when i got sick. Take it easy, take it a day at a time. With DS the weight gain in the beginning was very difficult for me - but i made it through by just reminding myself that it's not about me it's about my baby and the healthy choices i made are for my baby - and eventually became for me too. I had to get rid of the scale tho - that really made things so much harder even just having it around. I also started rubbing my belly and talking to DS to connect to him and also remind myself that my tummy wasn't really a tummy it was a baby. I did have my times that i struggled - but i made sure to reach out and talk to others and talk through those moments. You can do it!!
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October 16th, 2010, 06:16 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,869
I'm a recovering bulimic myself, and with DS that was my biggest worry. Will m/s make me relapse. The truth was, those times i did have severe m/s it drained me far worse than self purging. I never got that euphoric feeling from it that I was accustomed to for so many years. SO when the m/s finally subsided and I could eat a little normally I never even thought about purging.

Just take it a day at a time and try as hard as you can to let yourself feel this pregnancy. It's an amazing thing to experience.
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October 18th, 2010, 06:29 AM
newmommysarah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 2,222
thank you, feeling a bit better now. I'm really glad this is part of the forums - there is no way i could ask "normal" mommies-to-be about this stuff.
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October 18th, 2010, 10:23 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 2,162
Hey, welcome to the forum =) I'm sorry for all that you've been through... it must have been really tough, and you're very strong for dealing with all of that trauma!! <3

Also, Congratulations on your pregnancy!! Do you know your due date yet?

I had morning sickness with my first pregnancy. I was really young and I didn't keep it... so I only dealt with the morning sickness for like a week or two. I remember it being miserable though. All I could do was lie in bed. It's definitely a lot different than making yourself throw up...

I agree with Alethia about getting rid of the scale. I didn't do that when I was pregnant with my son, and it really sucked seeing my weight go up!!! Even though I knew it was for my baby, it was still hard. I used being pregnant as an excuse to eat anything and everything!!! If I ever decided to have another baby, I would definitely eat more healthy. Because I think I felt like I didn't NEED to gain all that weight and I was only gaining it because I was eating so much junk... so it made it a lot harder to accept.

(Just wanted to add... Ireland is beautiful!!! I have never been there; I've only seen pictures from when a relative went. But it was soooo pretty in the pictures. I remember being really jealous that I didn't get to go, lol.)

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October 26th, 2010, 06:40 AM
newmommysarah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 2,222
TY hun, oh i smashed my scale last year - decided i wasn't going to live in fear of the numbers anymore. I've found that as long as my jeans still fit and i can wear my fav dresses then im maintaining a healthy weight and im OK.
I'm not sure how ill deal with the weight gain now but as long as i stick to healthy nutritious food then I'll be fine. This is a real excuse to get my body in peak condition - god knows ill need to be fit and healthy if im going to deliver a baby!
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