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Fight right before our anniversary. Sigh.

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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October 12th, 2012, 08:06 AM
Scarlet Starlet's Avatar Teleport Birthing Founder
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 805
DH and I celebrate our first anniversary on Monday so we had planned a road trip down to Memphis & Nashville for a getaway to celebrate.
After this morning, I'm afraid we might not even go now. Our cat, who we adopted and was an outdoor stray before we found him, LOVES to go outside. Whenever we open the door more than half an inch, he sticks his head through so he can get out. He usually doesn't go far, he mostly sits on the porch, but sometimes he'll run into the backyard and into the neighbor's yard. Well this morning when DH went to leave he got out and ran across the street, then under the car. It was 3:45 in the morning and dark out but I managed to make out the shape of his tail running into the backyard. DH went chasing after him and of course the cat ran even further away. DH had to go because he can't be late for work today, his department is already short handed, which has been causing him extreme anxiety and frustration all week, and to make it worse an exec is coming in today so he really can't be late. I told him just to go and I'd go find the cat. He tore off in his car, shouted to me that we're getting rid of the cat. He's texted me 3 times since that we're getting rid of him, then posted on FB to see if anybody wanted him. He's not joking. I can tell this is going to cause a huge fight because I am NOT getting rid of the cat. He may be annoying at times but I love him.
I am very upset with my husband. I love him to death but he has anger issues and he doesn't want to deal with them, he can't manage his anger like a normal person can. He is going to have a terrible day at work, and I wouldn't be surprised if he comes home tonight and says the trip is off.
I can't even talk to him about his anger. He won't talk when he's angry-he thinks he's right and everybody else has an obligation to not make him mad. He refuses to grasp that he has an obligation to control himself.
I just needed to vent. I am just so sad this is all happening right before our anniversary.
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October 12th, 2012, 08:57 AM
amandabee's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kansas
Posts: 250
I am so sorry! Hopefully he will be more reasonable about the cat once he cools down some. It's hard to let go of a fur-babies. Hope everything works out and you guys get to go on your little vaca!
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October 12th, 2012, 10:41 AM
sweet.hun's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 7,694
This is a constant battle with Jesse and I too. I hope you can solve it and enjoy your anniversary!
Shasta, 33 years old. Jesse (DH), 32 years old.
Daughters: Rylie 4 years old. Born 3/18/2013 & Taryn 9 months. Born 12/19/2016
MTHFR C677T and Balanced Reciprocal Translocation between chromosomes 1 & 4.

Always missing my 6 angels. 2/9/06, 3/12/11, 5/22/12, 11/27/14, 7/22/2015, 10/16/15
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October 12th, 2012, 11:08 AM
PrincessLou79's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Shropshire
Posts: 40,661
I hope you can sort it out and still enjoy your anniversary together.
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October 12th, 2012, 11:11 AM
Athme's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: St Paul, Minnesota
Posts: 1,269
Oh honey Give him time to cool off and maybe just try to ignore the cat issue until you're back from your vacation.

Anger issues are something I am well aware of, Daniel doesn't have them but they are a family trait. If you can I'd try to definitely discuss them before the baby comes , babies are ultimately more.frustrating than adults or fur babies and you can't give them away!
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October 12th, 2012, 11:18 AM
WannabeAMommy87's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 241
aw sorry your dealing with a grumpy dh! Me and mine had a fight last week all was well until I had constipation pain and screamed over it then he called me a wuss etc... I think a lot of men get angry take it out on us when they feel they are not in control of a situation and want to always make things right (hope that makes sense to you). Hope you all work it out!

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We also predict GIRL and so does our family!
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October 12th, 2012, 12:36 PM
MsRK's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,611

What a right B**tch!! Like life isn't hard enough....

Well.... Hmmm...

I'm struggling because I can give you the standard kind.. "I hope it gets better" reply. Because I sincerely hope that happens.

Or I can give you a "Rachel" reply... Tell me if you want the Rachel reply and I will type it out for you.

Until then... I am hoping for the best.
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October 12th, 2012, 12:43 PM
toady11's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: May 2012
Location: AB, Canada
Posts: 315
I think once he calms down about it you can talk to him about how you would like to keep your furbaby.... I bet he comes around!

We have a pink little monkey coming in March!

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October 12th, 2012, 01:30 PM
Baby Boy Coming in March!
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Phoenix-Metro area
Posts: 1,842
I'm sorry you are dealing with this...

I hope the cat comes back and DH has a good day at work so he can come home in a better mood. If he's already stressing about work, I'm sure this little annoyance didn't help. What a crappy way to start the weekend.

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October 12th, 2012, 02:30 PM
-LovingLife-'s Avatar Ani LeDodi veDodi Li
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,733
I 'm sorry you and your DH are having this issue right before your big anniversary celebration, that sucks! I hope he cools down and you guys are able to working out and still have a great time on your trip!

wife to Richard
mommy to
Caleb, Rachael, Ezekiel, Kerryn, and 5 angel babies

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October 12th, 2012, 03:14 PM
SammyJ's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: UTAH
Posts: 3,737
((hugs)) fighting is no fun especially before a big day! Sounds like your dh needs a wake up call on his attitude and anger issues. Really hope you can convince him that maybe he needs professional help. I mean, my animals have done done things to really make me mad but I don't let it ruin the rest of my day and take it out on my spouse.

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October 12th, 2012, 03:29 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,684
That sucks. Every year we fight on Memorial Day weekend. It's happened since the year before we got married. Something about the month of May.

*hugs* My husband took workshops about his anger to help him. I went to anger management as well. Maybe when he's calmer you can bring up how being calmer would be good for the baby?
J Married to D 08.21.2009
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October 12th, 2012, 03:38 PM
KtKuKi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,756
I'm confused about why he's mad! Bc the cat got out?

DH hates our cat, and I'll admit, she's not my favorite pet, but I will not just get rid of her. Now MIL has casually mentioned taking her, and I will allow that!

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October 12th, 2012, 04:16 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,684
I so desperately want our cats gone. DH has set them up to fail.

I think he's mad because he's nervous and stressed about work already and the cat put him in a position where he risked running late on an important day.
J Married to D 08.21.2009
Bonus Mama to R (14) and M (7)
Warm up your home with a fabulous warmer and some of our scentsational scents! PM me for details!!!
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October 12th, 2012, 08:16 PM
naalie's Avatar Co Host of the March DDC
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: GA
Posts: 1,353
That's really upsetting, I'm sorry. SOunds like he was just looking for an excuse to get rid of the cat...?


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