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*Rant* oh no! a funeral and a birth not looking forward to this.

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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December 7th, 2012, 03:50 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,135
well DH's 85 year old grandfather had a pace maker put in 11 months ago because his heart was giving out and it made a day and night difference. Let me also add DH and I were not, or at least I was not trying to conceive until later on I found out that DH wanted to have a baby before his Grandpa passed away. Jumping to current events the grandpa hurt his back 2 weeks ago and had to go on bedrest. Well being 85 and on bedrest your muscles tend to diterierate really quickly(it only takes 3 days) so of course he started having problems getting out of bed and started falling a lot and was taken back to the hospital for observation and tests. The tests couldn't find anything and he was doing better in the hospital since the bed was up higher but you can't really do much in a hospital but lay in bed. so now what little muscle he had left is completely gone and his kidneys are starting to go. DH, his paretns, and his 2 brothers are going to make the 2 hour drive and go to the hospital for a couple of days, I'm not invited but I didn't want to go anyways. I'd end up being the one crying the most and it's better I stay home, even though I'd like to be there for DH. Out of all the grandchildren he was the closest with his grandpa. I've already said that when somethings up he needs to go and be with his grandpa because he'll be able to see the baby for a long time to come, but his grandpa won't be around much longer. The only bad thing is I'm in Germany..I'm a native Chicagoan, I have no friends or family here in Germany and I do speak German but it's not perfect, I'm really scared i'm going to have to do this whole birthing thing alone, I'm a pretty tough cookie, but I don't know if I'm that tough.
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December 7th, 2012, 05:05 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Chicago!
Posts: 2,636
While he should definitely visit his Grandpa, can't he cut his trip a bit short to make sure he's there for the birth? You should NOT have to go through it alone, especially in a foreign country! I couldn't imagine, and call me a B word but there is no way I'd be ok with my husband not being there for our kid's birth, there has to be a way he can see his grandpa and be back for you. Or maybe someone close to you can fly in for awhile while he's gone just in case? Hoping you can figure something out hun.

Always remembering our angel babies - 4/2011 (ectopic), 4/2012 (chemical) and
Angel Twins 5/23/14 (at 7 weeks 2 days)

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December 7th, 2012, 08:18 AM
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 2,134
Two hours isn't too far away. Perhaps he can make arrangements so that if you start having contractions he'll be able to get back right away? I think it's important for him to spend some time with his grandfather and say goodbye, if that's what this turns out to be, but I'm sure his family can be accommodating to make sure he gets back for you.

DH's father is ill, and while he's taken a turn for the better, we did talk about what would happen if his father were dying and I went into labor. It's a little different for us because the most difference would be between two hospitals about an hour away from each other, but at the same time, worth talking about. The truth is there's no perfect answer. He'd never forgive himself if he weren't with his dad, and he'd never forgive himself if he missed the birth of our child.

I'm sorry you guys are having to deal with this, emotionally and logistically.

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December 7th, 2012, 09:18 AM
kbpeanut's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: north county san diego, ca
Posts: 13,284
I think DH will make it work if it comes down to it. The 2 hours isn't that far, and I would hope he would be considerate of the fact that you are in a foreign country alone with no family. Here's hoping everything turns out A-ok!

Thanks *Kiliki* for my amazingly perfect siggy!


Our TTC Journey | Pregnancy Journals: Nugget (or here) and Baxter (or here)
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