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My Mother Rant

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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January 13th, 2013, 08:51 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 1,834
My Mother, whenever she gets a new boyfriend becomes 100% attached at the hip with the guy. She can never do ANYTHING without being with him. To the point that she won't come down for a visit because so&so can't make it work. Well, NUTS to him! I didn't invite him over anyway! I'm in my PJs and my house has wrapping paper bits all over the floor still!

She also can't decide if I'm a mother in my own right or her kid that happens to have a kid. This leads to interesting things like New Years. I spent the night with Alex. We wake up at around 8am. Alex immediately begins begging to eat so I give him a Nutrigrain bar and some milk. Another guest in the house (boyfriend's teenage grand-daughter) tells me that they have a breakfast planned (which was the impression I was under as well). So I opt to not eat anything like cereal in favor of this meal. 9am ticks around. Mom and boyfriend still in bed chatting. Alex is running around screaming "EAT, EAT, EAT!" and my own pregnant belly is grumbling pretty badly. I ask her what's up she tells me she's enjoying her lie in. At 9:30 her friend calls saying that she won't be there until noon. My Mom says "OH! So we have a little more time before we need to make food!" I tell her that my son and I are hungry and she tells me to be patient. 10am rolls around and I inspect her cabinet plain Shredded Wheat is all she has. I check on her again and she tells me she's still enjoying lounging. At this point I pack up all our stuff and load up the car. She meets me at the door and asks why we're going. I tell her that my son and I are very hungry and we both need an actual meal. She tells me that she'll start making the casserole....which will only take an hour. So, it wasn't breakfast she was planning on making it was LUNCH. If she had told me this BEFORE I would have packed breakfast for the both of us.

Flash forward to today. My Mom lives 1.5 hours away from us. We visit when we can but let's face it, it is always harder to travel with a kid than without. Plus, she's never home anymore because of boyfriend and because boyfriend is not "available." She calls us all wound up and wants to know if she can take Alex out for the day on Tuesday. Tuesday is my long day at work and his daycare day. She wants to pick-up Alex at the daycare (with the boyfriend), spend a couple hours with him, and then drop him off. Like he's some kind of side attraction.

I tell her "no" because my car seat does not work properly in her car (it just flops over no matter how tight you get it or leveled). She wants to trade cars. I ask how long she will have Alex out. She says 2-3 hours. Well, 2-3 hours puts them returning Alex after nap time has started. She says "Well, we'll drop him off AFTER nap." So, now she wants to take him off running around Cincinnati and return him to daycare WITH NO NAP. I ask what she's going to do with him. "I don't know. Walk around a mall or something?" Okay, so...at 9am she's going to take my car, drive Alex to some unknown location, cart him around in the stroller for a few hours (yes, all in the stroller because I know she's going to just take him shopping and gab with the boyfriend), drop him off at day care all exhausted, drive to my work, switch cars and go. And I pay for a whole day of daycare that he only uses like 2 hours of.

No. No. NO.

Now, if she wanted to come down to visit Alex and I leave off the car/car seat so that she can do local things for a bit, bring him home for a nap, and then continue watching him until DH is done with work, that would be different. I can switch my day at the center. But she doesn't want to do all day. She wants to "visit" Alex and then enjoy the rest of the day in Cincinnati with boyfriend. Again, my son is just a side attraction. Something cute to walk around with.

She yells at me because this is the only day she doesn't work this week and she really wants to see Alex. Well, I'm sorry. Maybe if you made the point of your visit ABOUT Alex I can help you work something out. Like, if you take him to the Children's Museum for the day. Or the Aquarium. Or, because of the possibility of storms, you want to come over and do art projects all day. He can handle having a late nap. The point being, SOMETHING ABOUT HIM and FOR HIM and not just pick him up and have him tag along on your date.

'Scuse the bad typing, please. 'Breast is Best' but not when browsing the internet!

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January 14th, 2013, 08:07 AM
MarylandMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Maryland, near DC
Posts: 1,473
I can relate. My MIL has no concept of toddler appropriate activities. Last year, she expected into go for pedicures while DH was at work and take my very energetic 18 month old (at the time) along, presumably strapping her in the stroller and expecting her to sit there quiet, unoccupied, and ignored, for about an hour and a half. Hat was met with a hell no. She never makes kid friendly plans and the I end up trying to keep DD entertained and happy when she and DH enjoy whatever the activity is. I have just started saying no to anything that is not Anna friendly.
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January 14th, 2013, 08:27 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Near Washington DC
Posts: 1,174
yeah my mother inlaw tends to treat my kids like something fun to do whenever it suits her plans. It is rather obnoxious. She treats them really well when she is with them, but can go months without seeing them, when she only lives 20 minutes away.

Your mom is being a butthead. You should tell her as much too.

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January 14th, 2013, 09:48 AM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 3,068
Omg you described my own mom to a T!! Thankfully my mom doesnt have a bf currently. And my mom is always wanting to do that...she is always wanting to show DD off like shes some object but never wants to do kid appropriate things with her... oh she does occasionally...like she wanted to take DD for a walk over to the park...during DDs naptime...on thanksgiving. When it was cold!!! Uhm hell no.
I would tell your mom No way. If she wants to spend time with your DS then make it a kid appropriate outing...his nap cant be skipped. And do it on a day thats convienent for you!

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January 14th, 2013, 10:18 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Clovis, CA
Posts: 37,585
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Huge hugs hun!

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