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Potty Training Woes

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By MarylandMama
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March 14th, 2013, 06:25 PM
momneedscoffee13's Avatar SAHM to Pirate & Princess
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Location: Jacksonville, FL
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I'll prob xpost this but the PT board doesn't seem all that active, so I thought I'd post here for those who have BTDT! I'm halfheartedly attempting to PT Connor. He will be 3 in May, and I signed him up for preschool and he HAS to be PT'd to be in the 3s class, but that's not 'til August...I have some time! My biggest thing is that we're heading back to FL for the final time next weekend, so once we are there, then I'll really buckle down. But in the mean time......

He doesn't seem to get the difference between pee and poop. Is this normal? He will say he has to poop, and ends up going pee, and vice versa. He says he pees out of his butt....umm not quite kid! LOL I keep reiterating that pee pee comes out of his penis (which he told me the other day as he watched me pee on the potty, he said "mama, pee pee comin' out of your penis?" ....again, not quite kid! ) But on the few occasions he's actually asked to go potty and says "I have to poop" he just ends up peeing.

Is he just not ready? It's obviously not clicking for him yet....or maybe he can't feel it?
I mean, we get into great detail around here when he does poop LOL and ask him if he felt it come out of his butt, and same with asking him if he feels it come out of his penis when he pees. Nothing seems to be working!!

He's not been fully naked because 1. it's still cold here, and 2. we're doing it in the living room which is carpeted, so we're trying not to have too many accidents. When we get down to FL and on a warm few days, I plan on having him completely naked from the waist down. Right now, he's usually wearing big boy underwear with no pants. Would there be that big of a difference between underwear and naked for him to make a connection? Ugh I've heard boys are hard to PT, but this is just ridiculous! We've been doing this for a little over a week now, it doesn't seem to be getting any better. Help!!

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March 14th, 2013, 06:48 PM
ashleykathleen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Texas
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I have very little advice because Kiefer is about 6 months younger than Connor and is no where ready to PT...but I will say Kiefer confuses pee and poop too. He also tells me he pooped when he really just farted.

As far as the underwear vs naked thing, with Jaleigh we just let her run around in underwear for a whole weekend. She hated the feeling the wet underwear on her so after a few accidents she caught on quickly. I'm terrified of how much harder its going to be with Kiefer.

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March 14th, 2013, 07:06 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Minneapolis
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Ugh I am in the same boat as you Im afraid. I am kinda trying to PT my DD...i introduced the concept to her at a much younger age and if she asked i would put her on the potty. And then i would have her sit on the potty after her bath after dinnertime and she always pees on the potty but shes only pooed like half dozen times on the potty...she would prefer to hide and poo her pants. So im trying to get her FT potty trained and it is not easy. She also says she pooed sometimes when she farts....aand others she knows she farted and will blame the dog/cat/or daddy (no idea where she got this) and will also tell me no when she does have to go(oh how i now hate the word no).
I have no easy solutions either other than the one piece of advice my mom/aunts/cousins tell me. Dont push him or force it on him. Let it be mainly his idea. Give some sort of positive reinforcement prize when he does go and praise praise praise(til you think your praising a dog for goin outside lol) thats all thats helped me. It has also been cold here but i will try the underwear thing when it warms up a bit.

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March 14th, 2013, 07:23 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Near Washington DC
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3 is the perfect age. I know some miracle boys can do it at 2, but mine needed to be 3. Both of them.

I let them run naked through the house, I moved the potty chair to the living and put cartoons on and they sat in the chair and peed. The potty chair i have, it makes music when the sensors in the bottom get wet.

I throw the biggest celebration when they make the music play. Like it is the biggest deal in the whole world. They get really into it. I also have a bribery bowl, that i kept stocked with dum dums and stickers and things of this nature.

Then I started using a sticker chart, and everytime he peed in the potty, he got a sticker. Then after a week or two of that, everytime he pooped in the potty, he got a sticker.

Keep making a huge deal out of it. Watch his eyes light up. Dance around, sing and celebrate. It seems stupid, but they love it and it makes them want to do it again and again.

Youll clean a few wetspots. In the begining, sebastian would "dribble" a little, his eyes would go big and he would haul tail to the potty to finish there.

it didn't take long.

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March 14th, 2013, 07:28 PM
MarylandMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have potty trained several kids, my own DD and several kids that I work with. I don't think it's really an issue whether he gets which is poop and which is pee as long as he does both on the potty. The key is to make it much more difficult to have an accident than it is to go on the potty. Going on the potty should be the easiest option and super reinforcing. Choose some favorite item that he can have access to when and only when he uses the potty. Edibles are great for this bc they are quick, consumable, and you don't have to take them away. With DD, we used tiny cookies. She got one whenever she went on the potty. We pumped her full of fluid and sat her on the potty for 10 mins every 20-30 mins. When we were able to catch her going, we made a HUGE deal out of it, and gave her the cookie. We also saved her favorite undies (Elmo) for when she was dry and went. When she had an accident, she had to go to the potty, pants down, sit down, stand up, go to the place of the accident to clean up with a paper towel and repeat three times. She cried, she hated it, but that's the point. Kids get really quickly that it is not easier and no fun to have an accident. (This is for pee only, she just had to help clean herself up for poop.) It is really important to use underwear during all waking hours so you know as soon as an accident is occurring and you can do the whole clean up thing. We did just underwear, no pants.

With DD, this took longer bc we started her at 15 months, but I have had several kids that I work with end up fully potty trained in a weekend with this procedure. I know it sounds crazy and it is a lot of work while you do it, but it works better and faster than anything that I have ever seen. I highly recommend it.
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March 14th, 2013, 10:17 PM
MrsLat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't have anything to add advice wise... we are starting to potty train Gabriel and it has been nothing but frustration. He is super happy to go first thing in the morning, but that is it. He also asks to go to the potty AFTER he has pooped. Ugh. So we are also having a rough go at it :/
JaxonJocelyn Gabriel Grayson and Scarlett

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March 15th, 2013, 05:38 AM
momneedscoffee13's Avatar SAHM to Pirate & Princess
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We do use jelly beans, which Connor loves. He has such a sweet tooth and I believe inherited his father's love of jelly beans lol. We have a whole Costco sized jar of them. He gets 2 for pee and 3 for poop. They definitely work in the sense that if he wants a jelly bean, we remind him of how he gets them and then he will ask to go potty -- and sure enough, he usually does! lol We also do a lot of praise and celebration, he'll usually say it before I do, after he goes he'll say "Mommy, you so proud of me?"

He also finds a TON of joy out of flushing the toilet himself. We used to let him flush whenever he asked (CD's, so he could flush whenever I put his poop in the toilet), now I ONLY let him flush when he uses the potty. We have both of a portable froggy potty to sit in the middle of the room, and we also have a toddler seat to put on the big potty.

His biggest deterrent is that he will NOT STOP what he is doing to go potty. Even if he's watching a tv show, and the froggy potty is literally sitting right next to his chair, he will not just pull his pants down and move over one chair lol. It's even worse when he's playing with toys, he is so distracted by them, and will sit in a poopy diaper for hours if I let him, because he just does NOT want to stop playing!! And as soon as he pees or poops, he will tell us "I went pee pee/poop! It's an accident??"

I'm thinking this just goes hand in hand in him not quite knowing what it feels like to go, and he's just not ready yet? Maybe something will change in a month or two? Ugh, I feel like I've tried most everyone's suggestions already and nothing works!!! It's definitely frustrating!! Maybe when we get down to FL we'll try the sticker chart, he does love stickers too! lol

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March 15th, 2013, 07:50 AM
phantomsgrl11's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My son just turned three and he calls it all pooping too - even farting. He hears us say yay you peed when he pees and he talks about how he did pee and brags about it but next time it's the same thing "mommy have to poop". It's kind of funny at this point so I think it's normal.

He has only the slighest of interest in potty training - we are trying not to push him too much just keep offering it.
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March 15th, 2013, 02:04 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
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Sounds like you are doing fine. Imagine for a minute that somebody suddenly decided that you would start using diapers. Even if you understood that this is the way it will be, it would probably be very difficult for you to be able to pee/poop fully clothed. Heck, I sometimes have trouble if I am at a public bathroom instead of at home. Toileting is a highly conditioned behavior, and it takes time to change. If you've never read anything about Elimination Communication, you might google and see what you can find out. I've only used it with one baby, but the ideas have really helped me change my thinking about toilet training, making it a much less frustrating process.

Of my kids they have trained anywhere between the age of 18 months (our EC baby) and almost 4. Boys aren't necessarily slower than girls, although they do make a bigger mess when they insist to stand up to pee.
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March 15th, 2013, 06:23 PM
hilachu's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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same boat!
DS will be 3 in August
We tried potty training a month or so ago and it ended horribly
bribing doesn't work for him
we've down marshmallows, stickers
he just doesnt really want to
he'll ask to pee in the potty once or twice a day but any other time he completely resists
ive given up for now and am going to wait a while before I try again

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March 15th, 2013, 07:25 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
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I've never really done bribing but we did get lucky. For us, it's consistency and DH and I need to pay attention. Lily was 2.5 and trained in a weekend. For her, the idea of wearing Tinkerbell panties was motivation enough. Abri was a little harder. She had just turned 2 and was interested. We didn't force her to sit on the potty if she didn't want to, but she got so distracted with playing that she had accidents often. We let her pick out Yo Gabba Gabba panties and gave up diapers during the day. Every 20 minutes we'd remind her to go potty. Daycare was also on board. It took a couple weeks to be mostly pee trained. It took another week or two to understand pooping in the potty. I never let on that I was frustrated. But once she finally got it, she was good for naps and nighttime too.

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