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How to deal with unwanted hand me downs

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By momneedscoffee13

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March 21st, 2013, 07:42 PM
bobbiejo1982's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 750
I appreciate everything that is given to me free but some things I just don't want/have the use for. Someone gave me a baby book, not used but not new. Well i have already bought one I don't see myself writing in 2.

Also I was giving a big stuffed teddy bear. Well it's old and it's has a funny smell. I didn't want to be rude but.....ugh what do i do LOL

Maybe give it to my friend that is having a baby if she wants it??
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March 21st, 2013, 07:47 PM
momneedscoffee13's Avatar SAHM to Pirate & Princess
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Jacksonville, FL
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I would either try to give them to someone else who needs/wants them, or donate them!
bobbiejo1982 likes this.

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March 21st, 2013, 07:48 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 903
ugh i can relate! i don't really know what to say either. my step mom is the worst..(i have a 7yr old 1/2 sister) so now that i have kids she's giving everything to me...she's columbian and doesn't take no for an answer..she kind of just puts stuff in my car sometimes lol. problem is, she gives me big stuff or old stuff that's dirty/ruined. basically she wants it out of her house. i live in a small apartment and i just don't have room for any of it! she takes things very personally so if i say i don't need it she gets kind of upset. or if i already have something she still seems upset. i've ended throwing a lot of things out or finding random spots to put things until i do need them :-\
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March 21st, 2013, 08:14 PM
zkat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,743
It depends on the person and situation. I will try to politely turn them Down, but if they continue, I will usually accept and then donate it. If it is a large item and it is someone who visits, then I will tell them thanks but we already have one etc.

Btw, it only gets worse as the kids get older. We get every hand me down, get it out of my house toy on both sides. It does have some perks -b has a couple thousand dollars worth of toys for free
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March 21st, 2013, 09:12 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,511
either politely turn them down I like to use 'oh goodness it is cute but I already have one and we really do not have the space' if it is a person who you know will be offended take it and either sell or donate it. For items your child will grow out of outfits ect. take a pic with your child in it and send them a pic and then you are off the hook! Good luck! I get a lot of this with my older sister ugh it gets really annoying I finally just say now NO dd has too many of said item.

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March 21st, 2013, 09:41 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 1,834
I tell my parents "no". And then when that item inevitably shows up in my house (they each have a key) I then threaten to donate it to Goodwill if they don't get it back out of my house by a certain date.

I didn't use to be so mean but after having a vicious fight about this LARGE glass mirror sitting in my son's playroom (who thought it awesome to throw things at) I've learned to be VERY direct.

The hardest thing I had to say "no" to was the cradle my Dad wanted to give to me for Alex. It was the cradle that all us as babies slept in and he liked the idea that something he cared for would go to caring for one of my babies. But it was simply too large. Almost as large as the actual crib. My bedroom is only 10x12ft and it just wasn't going to work out.

'Scuse the bad typing, please. 'Breast is Best' but not when browsing the internet!

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March 21st, 2013, 11:11 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 3,068
Ugh just donate it. My mom is a complete hoarder....example...she still has the carseat I used thats 33 years old and she believes it may have some use. She is constantly giving my DD old ratty teddy bears and other stuffed animals....no they werent my old ones. Some are old ones my mom has. My dad does the same crap. He will take stuff out of my childhood bedroom and bring it to me like I want it for DD. Then again my dad gave me a pair of 30 year old leather mittens recently and I threw them away. He keeps asking where i put them and I always make up some excuse. Ugh its terrible. I am actually taking a bunch of stuffed animals and toys to goodwill this weekend.

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March 22nd, 2013, 05:34 AM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 2,029
I agree with the other ladies, depending on the situation you might as well take it then put it in a donate pile and take things to goodwill once a week or something. People are just trying to be nice, but some just don't know when to stop.

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March 22nd, 2013, 06:29 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Near Washington DC
Posts: 1,174
I have 4 bouncy seats from people donating to me. I am going to try and barter them for other things I need.

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March 22nd, 2013, 07:04 AM
bobbiejo1982's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 750
Ok I see I am not the only one. i think I will just donate the thing like you ladies said.
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March 22nd, 2013, 07:24 AM
Kalynas_Mom's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 830
If it's not someone I feel comfortable telling I don't want it, I'll thank them politely and then donate it. if they ever ask about the item again I just say that we had no room or use for it and gave it to another good home
Mom to my wildchild Kalyna (Dec 2008)

August 8th 2012, 7 weeks
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March 22nd, 2013, 09:04 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 3,551
Donate, re-sell to a shop, or throw it directly in the trash.
Lisa, mom to Alie and Christian
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March 22nd, 2013, 09:56 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: St. Paul MN
Posts: 773
I'll usually just donate the stuff people give me that I don't need. My aunts are notorious for this. One of them has kept toys from when my cousins were little (they're my age) and is always trying to pawn them off on my boys, we keep what's in good shape and throw away what is too far gone and donate what is too young or old age appropriate. My other aunt, who is like a mother to me, is always bringing over food. And not good food, she and my uncle have couponing problems so once her meat or veggies get freezer burnt she brings them over here. I've requested that she stop, but she doesn't. I usually end up just throwing it all away if it's not useful. She has never once found out about it and she comes to my house all the time.
Mommy to Isaac 8.1.07 Gabriel 7.2.09 and Samuel 6.15.13
Angel Babe 9-16-2012 5wks
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March 22nd, 2013, 11:40 AM
Mrs_lynn.c's Avatar Expecting#5
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Cincinnati,ohio
Posts: 1,085
Im pretty blunt when people try to give me hand me downs if its something i cant use i will simply say no. if its something i need i will take it and thank them.
Thank you .:shortcake:. for my beautiful siggy!!!
Peggy & Jeff expecting our second TR miracle
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March 22nd, 2013, 12:04 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 26,352
I agree with the others, just donate what you don't want. My SIL gives me handmedown clothes for my girls. I'll go through it- some of it has old stains on it, some is a style I would never let my girls wear, but every now and then I can pick out a few play clothes to keep.

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March 22nd, 2013, 04:29 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Upper Michigan
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People give us stuff all the time, especially clothes. I never refuse because it has quite often helped out! Stuff we can't use I either throw out or donate to the thrift store.

About the big bear with the funky smell... if you don't want it probably no one else will either. I'd say toss that one.
~Jennifer, wife of one, mother of many

Robert: 20 Raechel: 18 Daniel: 15 Joseph: 13 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 7 Lucy Marie: 5 John Anthony: 2 AND Baby due Dec. 2015

Always Missing our Angels: Hope (7-8-06 @36w); Francis (7-4-12 @12w); Charlie (1-19-15 @ 6w)

Congratulations Raechel and Kaleb, married May, 2015

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March 23rd, 2013, 01:47 PM
PurpleStar's Avatar March 2015 DDC Co-Host
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Sunny CA
Posts: 3,122
I'm a pretty straight up person, so I politely say "no thank you" if I really have no use for it. Both DH & I hate clutter of any kind and constantly donate DS's clothing, so we totally don't want/need it from others but are grateful for the thought & gesture nonetheless ;-)

Last edited by PurpleStar; March 23rd, 2013 at 01:53 PM.
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