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Partner is turning mean all of a sudden.

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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April 10th, 2013, 05:48 AM
heatherolivia's Avatar Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 29
When we first found out we were expecting it was great, we were excited and happy and he was so supportive of me. He wouldn't let me carry anything that had significant weight, he would cook, he'd help around the house etc.

In the last 2 weeks he has become very irate, he will shout at me for just about any reason he can find, I find myself going to the shops alone because he has told me to go (and always wants alcohol) and he literally will find any excuse to argue with me. Oh and he won't tell a soul that I'm pregnant, even thought I'm now 12 weeks. He hasn't told work why he wanted the afternoon off for our first scan, he just said he "had to go somewhere" and not a single one of his friends knows. He has also started spending lots of time on his phone and goes mad if I remotely ask what he's doing.

What the hell should I do?!
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April 10th, 2013, 06:41 AM
soul_donut's Avatar Melissa
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,117
See a counselor!
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April 10th, 2013, 07:04 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Iowa
Posts: 5,286
Wow. The phone thing sounds very suspicious. Have you asked him why he's being so mean?

[IMG]h ttp://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc187/kellybabe05/natural2.gif[/IMG]
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April 10th, 2013, 07:06 AM
jamieshalon2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 3,151
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Oh that is such a tough situation. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this, especially during what should be the happiest time of your life.
Have you tried to sit him down and have a really good heart to heart with him? Maybe he is feeling scared that you guys are having a baby. Is this you guys first child? It could be that his anxiety over fatherhood is just wearing on his nerves. Either way you guys really do need to talk about it. It isn't fair you of your baby to be treated that way.

Jamie age 37-Single mommy and loving life
Tristen James born 10-28-00
Logan Boyce born 1-19-04
Brayden Monroe born 8/2/07
Sophia Elizabeth born 10-4-2103
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April 10th, 2013, 08:05 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 7,185
I agree with Jamie. No point in worrying and jumping to conclusions before having a heart to heart. be careful not to let it get into an arguement. Try to phrase things like I feel, I see that, I would like rather than, 'you haven't', 'you didn't',' you won't' etc. If its just nerves becomming a father for the first time its very understandable, give him some encouragement that you guys can do this. Tell him you understand and that this is a normal reaction that a lot of new dads have. Hope he comes around.
Expecting baby girl September 29th

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April 10th, 2013, 08:16 AM
fludderbye's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: PA
Posts: 501
With our first My DH was a complete D*CK!!!

seriously- I love him but I knew it was nerves being a dad is a big step especially the first time around-

when DD was born he was the man i married it was like a switch got flipped-

now with # 4 he is different LOL give him space, time, = & talk to him Lovingly not accusingly

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April 10th, 2013, 08:40 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 5,298
You say partner...he's your boyfriend? Was the pregnancy unplanned? If so his behavior might be normal for a guy. You might need couples counseling if he's not responsive to you.
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April 10th, 2013, 10:57 AM
Wren's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Vermont
Posts: 1,618
I think my husband is getting sick of my being sick all the time and not having any energy to help with our daughter or cook and clean. It sounds like for him the reality of having a kid is kicking in and he is freaking out. I would definitely talk to him gently. You don't want to get into a cycle of pissing each other off more and more, but obviously it is not okay if he treats you like crap either.
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April 10th, 2013, 12:14 PM
*Lana*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,279
My DH was a bit off last pg. He was distant and seemed a bit nervous, but claimed everything was fine. The only appt he went to, around 18 weeks, he asked the doctor a question. Apparently he was scared of of his mind that something was going to happen to me. He asked the doctor who he would save if something went wrong. The doctor said both. DH instantly relaxed.
Could he be holding in his feelings/nerves and this is how it comes out?

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April 10th, 2013, 01:38 PM
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 3,079
I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Just try to talk to him straight and see what his deal is. i hope it gets worked out, you don't need this kind of stress, especially when pregnant.

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April 10th, 2013, 02:15 PM
Wanta.number2's Avatar Hi, I'm Tiffani!
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,260
My DH has been awesome this pregnancy and is very excited, but I am going to have to fight him to be in the OR during my C-section. He is extremely reluctant about the birth because he is terrified and extremely defensive about the fact that someone is going to be cutting me open.

Maybe he is reluctant about the baby because of how its changing and how its going to change you? Some men, including my DH, don't have the slightest clue about birth or conception, or how our bodies are equipped for this this. DH actually finds the process really scary.
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