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Child Spacing

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By tryn1998

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April 13th, 2013, 07:36 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 666
So this baby is my first and not that I am ready to get pregnant but I thought I would ask, in your experiences as a mother or growing up, what is the best timeframe for child spacing?

I had one brother growing up and we were two years apart and all we did was fight. Not sure if it would have been different if he would have been a girl or me a boy, might have fought harder.

I am 30 and I would like at least 3 kids so it has me thinking......

I go back and forth. Somedays I think I should try to have another right away and the then next day I think I should wait until this one is out of diapers and a little more independent as I had a hard pregnancy and don't know how I can handle taking care of a child and being pregnant.

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April 13th, 2013, 11:01 PM
jeangeorge2742728's Avatar Crazy Momma 2 seven
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: kentucky
Posts: 1,105
For me all of my kids are close in age from 12 months apart to 20 months apart and they do great, now with that being said I have 2 kids that are 3 years apart had some fertile problems with them and all they do is fight, she was 3 when Mary was born and doesn't seem to like her much. I didn't have that problem with my other kids. Just like my 18 month old she loves her brother who is 2 months old. It can be hard with them being close together but I like my kids being so close in age.
Tyran Gail Anthony 9-15-02
Anita Marie Grace 6-12-04
Jimmy Alexander 9-06-05
Samuel (Sammy) Wesley 5-27-07
Kaitlynn Faith 6-11-08
MaryJean Hope 9-16-11
Ethan Curtis 02-06-13
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April 14th, 2013, 08:19 AM
spicymustard's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: California
Posts: 10,684
My kids are 3 years and then 2 years apart. For me it was a little bit easier when they were 3 years apart because right now my 2 year old still likes be carried sometimes and I can't always do that with another baby around. The 5yo and the 2yo do fight sometimes but then they also play well together too.
Lilly 1-18-08 Oliver 3-1-11 Mollie 2-6-13

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April 14th, 2013, 09:50 AM
gypsystar's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,466
I think everyone will have a different opinion with what works best for them. I think some people are more cutout for closer spacings than others LOL. Honestly, I don't love the closer spacings we have had at first. It definitely makes things harder to juggle for me. I don't love feeling pulled in too many directions and guilt over not being able to be what everyone needs me to be all the time. However, closer spaced siblings do play well together and seem closer to each other, so it seems worth it in the end. The 3+ year spacings were definitely easier to handle from a care-taking perspective but they have less interests in common and don't get along quite as well.

Good luck with your decision!

Forever Missing Katriel Star (17 weeks) and Sebastian Judah (14 weeks)

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April 14th, 2013, 05:23 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: United States
Posts: 8,587
My kids are 22 and 21 months apart. Some days are harder than others but, some days are easier, too. They play well together. My girls LOVE their new brother. I don't think I'd do it another way, to be honest. My brothers are 9 years older and 4 years younger than me. We aren't close at all. I don't know if that's because of the spacing or just because. We barely even speak to each other.
DS: 4
DD3: 9/19/14-10/19/14DS: 17months!

Mom to 4 beautiful kids! 3 on Earth and 1 in heaven. Our little girl, Matilda Hope had Down Syndrome. She was born with TMD, a disease that is like leukemia. She fought that and beat it. Then, she had liver failure. She beat that, too. On October 17, 2014 she had NEC, necrotizing enterocolitis. My baby went to Heaven on October 19, 2014. She lived exactly one month.
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April 14th, 2013, 08:47 PM
tryn1998's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 282
Mine are spaced between 2 and 3yrs apart. This works great for us. Yes, they fight, but all siblings fight regardless of age. I like that they are close in age b/c even though they do fight, they are like best friends most of the time. Me and my siblings are 6-9yrs apart and it left me feeling like an only child on many occasions. Even now that we are all older, I am not really "close" to any of them, and I really think that age has played a roll in that.
AmyLM likes this.
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April 15th, 2013, 09:43 AM
Loving My Piglets
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: England, UK
Posts: 34,596
Between the girls there are 12 months, wasn't planned that way but ended up being my best age gap! Rhianna could not talk or walk yet when Lacey came along, I found that alot easier as she couldn't escape when i was busy dealing with Lacey lol she still napped alot too so I spent alot of 1:1 time with Lacey while she napped and of course still got alot of 1:1 time with Rhianna when Lacey was sleeping.

Between Lacey and Lucas there is 22 months. Rhianna was also just about to turn 3 when Lucas came along... That age gap was much harder for me, but then they were 3 under 3 so probably contributed lol

Between Lucas and Connor there is 34 months, my biggest age gap, the girls are 5 and 4 lucas turns 3 in two weeks time, connor is now 2 months... its been much easier then i imagined
..together for 12 years..

R (10) 24.04.06 - our little angel
R (9) 07.06.07
L (8) 05.06.08
L (6) 26.04.10
C (3) 15.02.13

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April 15th, 2013, 02:56 PM
stephanieaehenley's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: pa
Posts: 1,623
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my kids are 2.5 years apart and i love it this way , they are both in diapers which sucks but my son is going to starting potty training soon
mom to an amazing boy and girl! love them so much!!
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April 15th, 2013, 03:42 PM
Rebelmommy's Avatar Mommy to controlled chaos
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,139
I am already planning on when we will start trying for another.. for me I like the 15-24 months between them range.
Mommy to:

Ashley (02/18/94) Rhiana (08/20/02) Tierney (05/23/04)
(12/05/05) Creighton (01/31/13) Devlynn Grace (02/05/2016)

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April 16th, 2013, 03:32 AM
CptStargel's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1,599
My girls are 23 months and 2 1/2 weeks apart. For me it is really hard some days to maintain control. My 2 year old just finished potty training and she always needs something as soon as I sit down with baby. If its not to use the potty I explain she has to wait. Sometimes she melts down, but she's learning. Most of the time its great! I love watching them smile at each other and grow together. I like they are close in age and will soon be playing together.

Thank you *Kiliki* for my amazing siggy!!!

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May 4th, 2013, 11:55 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 584
My boys are 23 months apart and sometimes they do fight alot but they play together amazingly well and my 4 yr old is very protective of the 2 yr old and the baby. I mean protective where he can pick on his brother but as soon as another child pushes him we almost have brawling o the playground. There is 2 1/2 years between Connor and Maggie and that is working out very well also. He still tries to be the baby sometimes but he has learned when I am feeding Maggie he can sit next to me or by my feet but even now he just tries to help take care of her.
My brother and I are 27 months apart and we fought terribly until he was in high school. I mean fist fights and yelling. At the same time if anyone tried to bully me they had to go through him to do it. Once he was in high school and we quit fighting it isn't like we are best buddies but we definitely have a good relationship which I think has helped foster a good relationship between his wife and I.
My sister is 5 years older than my brother and 7 years older than me. We don't even speak when standing within 5 feet of each other. There is absolutely no relationship there at all. Part of it is just her personality. It's all about her and will always be about her and everyone else can just go to hell.
So, I am definitely for having them closer together. That being said, due to my c/s with Maggie and finances it will be a minimum of 2 years before we even start to think about #4. We absolutely want more kids but there will be a larger age gap.
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May 5th, 2013, 03:53 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 2,740
I have all different spaces. 2 year, 4 years, 3 years. I don't find that there is any difference in age gaps. Its nice when there is a bit of an additional space so that the older ones can help a little. Its nice when you have them close so that you can get through the baby stage of life. I think if the fight or not is going to have more to do with their personality then with the spacing. I would say when you feel ready to have another baby it will be the right spacing regardless of if its close or well spaced.
MOM of 6!

Mom to Premies, IVF mom,
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