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Good or bad relationship with in laws?

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By lhug_nar
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April 26th, 2013, 08:12 AM
TerriLF's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 566
I was just curious who has a good relationship and who has a not so good relationship with their inlaws.

I have a good relationship with my FIL and Step MIL, but my MIL is another story. She is so dependent on my husband and calls with her problems constantly. Right now she has his Tahoe driving it because her car got repod. She was supposedly saving money to buy a car next month and now says that money was stolen from her and she cant' get a car for awhile. She just assumes we don't need the Tahoe since my husband has a work truck he drives to and from work. It is always something with her and hubby always bails her out of her hard time. I'm at my end! I mean I am about to go on maternity leave in a few months. We need to be saving money not have to pay extra for her being on our insurance (she has had 2 at fault wrecks in the last year so our insurance went up $150/month when we added her thinking it was only going to be for one month. It is going on 3!) SORRY FOR THE VENT!
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April 26th, 2013, 08:38 AM
bklynfinest77's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 722
I have a amazing realationship with my MIL (FIL passed) it crazy cause i have a better realationship with her then my mother ...

Me and my mom is real cool but she more of lay back don't want to be in anyone business type of person so we really dont talk unless it important or to just check in every now and then.
My MIL on the other hand is more of i want to be part of your life and loves to help with anything she can. She may be alittle opinonated but im ok with that cause she does it cause she care. Whatever advise i dont want i just dont listen to but most of the stuff she says is very informative. She amazing im really happy to have her in my life.
Imani mom of 4

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April 26th, 2013, 09:07 AM
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 62
I hear ya on the crazy MIL. My husband's dad and stepmom are amazing and I get along great with them. His mom is another story though. She is something else. I can't even begin to explain all the things that have happened with her, but my husband is her baby so she feels threatened by me and it's SO apparent.

Anyway, I feel your pain! It sounds like your husband needs to put his foot down with her. I would NOT put up with having to bail her out financially over and over again. That's not ok. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this stress during your pregnancy. I hope she gets her stuff together soon!
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April 26th, 2013, 09:16 AM
keekopeeko's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: virginia
Posts: 7,949
I love my in laws... I don't call them to baby sit or anything.. But they are great.. And I don't mind being around them at all.. But that is still what they are to me.. My in laws... I don't call them mom or dad.. And I don't feel nearly as comfortable with them as my own parents .. But they are still great in laws
~Em, Married to Matt since 7/3/04. Mommy to Layla 3/29/06, Eva 10/18/08, Zeke 2/4/11, and Jonah 7/28/13

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April 26th, 2013, 09:21 AM
-erin-'s Avatar Co-Host of the May2010 PR
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 10,040
Mine are pretty good. We moved away from them last summer, so now we're near MIL's sister and mom (DH's aunt and grandma) who I love so much and am a bit more comfortable with them than I was with MIL. But MIL is still great. She watched DD during the day while I worked until DD was a year old, then 1 day a week until we moved. She always respected my wishes for what I wanted with DD (I'm really not too picky or overbearing though).

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April 26th, 2013, 09:50 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 3,400
I consider myself very lucky.
DH's mom is great and has always been really supporting but not too involved in our lives to ever annoy me.
DH's dad was great too. He sadly passed 4 years ago.

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April 26th, 2013, 10:05 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Northeast Georgia
Posts: 2,144
I have an alright relationship with my MIL and SFIL. They've treated us horribly in the past (they once stole our car while we were living with them and sold it while claiming someone else stole it and wrecked it. And when we confronted her about it, she said it didn't matter because the car was in her name, even if we paid for it). My MIL is really b!tchy though, so I hate hanging out with her, though my SFIL is much more friendly.

I consider my REAL inlaws to be my GMIL and GFIL and they are great. We have our disagreements but they've always been there for us and are great grandparents.

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April 26th, 2013, 10:52 AM
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 135
My MIL and I have a great relationship. She treats me like I am her daughter. My FIL is an ***. He lives in the mountains all secluded and comes up with wild ideas. He treats my hubby terribly but treats his step kids like they are gods. My hubby was in the marine corps and served in Iraq and his dad says thats not an accomplishment however the fact that his step son made it through boot camp was the best thing anyone could have ever done. Both my hubby and his brother try hard to get some sort of approval from their father and is will never come. SAD. My family however is a horse of a different color and they are straight up crazy. So basically my kids have my MIL and my SMIL. I love both those women.
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April 26th, 2013, 11:50 AM
NinjaCakes's Avatar Awesomesauce
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,473
Holy cow, I'd be fuming too! That is so inconsiderate. Some people really do not get that they aren't the center of the universe.

I wouldn't know what to call what I have. A lot of frustration at the constant violation of my boundaries. Seething anger at how they treat BF and attempt to sabotage every good thing we have going. Something approaching rage at the sheer amount of disrespect and condescension they heap on me

And they don't even know me. I can just imagine how it would be if they did - just imagine based on the way they act towards each other. The one I get along with the best is the one I see the least: BF's grandma. Probably because she doesn't let ignorance fly forth every time she opens her mouth.

Thanks so much Claire for my awesome siggy
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April 26th, 2013, 11:54 AM
sethsgirl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: SC
Posts: 9,652
My MIL and I have an interesting relationship. Sometimes it's great and other times I really want to tell her she needs to think before she talks and other stuff. My FIL and I rarely talk (they're divorced and lets just say he wasn't father of the year ever when DH was growing up, not even close). He will call DH every couple of months wanting to talk to the boys and once or twice a year call and tell us he's going to be in town in a few days (talk about short notice) and expect to stay at our house. I'm not sure when he'll meet Olivia but out of DH, his sister and brother, DH is the only one that even talks to FIL let alone sees him which means out of his soon to be 4 grandkids he will only know our 3 if you consider 3-6 days a year knowing someone. Sad but that's the way it has ended up.
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April 26th, 2013, 12:13 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: SB, California
Posts: 1,280
Your MIL sounds pretty inconsiderate but it also sounds like you DH needs to take as stand and let her work things out for herself once in a while.

My inlaws were terrible to me at first. Really horrible. When DH and I got pregnant he was still in college and we were not married. He ended up leaving school to get a job and I know they really resented me for that. Then I insisted on having a super tiny wedding and wouldn't let my MIL invite all her friends. She was supper angry about that for a long time. She had a really tough time adjusting to me being the center of her son's life and then our family and not her's. Six years of marriage later, I love her. I stuck to my guns and would not back down on the things I wanted for my family but I continued to be polite and encouraged my son to keep his parents in the loop with everything the kids were doing. We have a really good relationship now. I love visiting and I adore how my inlaws love my kids. Both of them tell me how blessed they feel that my DH married me and that I'm the mother to their grandkids and I feel just as blessed to be a part of their family.

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April 26th, 2013, 04:34 PM
Kiam's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,954
We're pretty good.

I disagree with a lot of their choices and beliefs, and I hold some quite hard views that I would never voice to them on reasons why there are people who hold the views that they do (formed long before I met them and honestly, they have only solidified those views for me). Sometimes I wish that MIL would be more respectful of the topic of conversation and quit trying to light a fire, but she doesn't do it often and honestly she only ever does it when she is in a general bad mood. I know not to bite.
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April 26th, 2013, 07:22 PM
doodoosmom's Avatar 4 kids?! Who's counting!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: California
Posts: 8,008
I'd say our relationship isn't great. We barely ever see my FIL so we're not close at all. MIL & I have a strained relationship. We're trying to get along better now & she's making a better effort then before so right now we're OK.
Ashley - Wife to Derrick, mommy to Owen-8, Rylan-6 & Addison-3. Baby Nolan is here, born 6/13/13 @ 34 weeks.
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April 26th, 2013, 08:20 PM
jkgreen's Avatar Awaiting Our First Bundle
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 481
My relationship with my in laws is great. We have been together since I was 16, so they are very much family. Of course there are little things that bug me, but I guess they are my little pet peeves and nobody is perfect. I just wished I clicked with my sister in law more... We are getting there though... Little by little, we are forming a friendship... It isn't like we didn't like each other. We just didn't have ...common ground. But we are getting there..

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April 26th, 2013, 08:47 PM
lhug_nar's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Roberts, Wisconsin
Posts: 14,802
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I have a fantastic relationship with my ILs. They're really like my own family. My mother is the crazy one LOL
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April 27th, 2013, 12:16 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,142
I have a very good relationship with my in-laws. Love `em. Today my 20 month old went to the softball game with her grandma, grandpa, aunt, and uncle while my four year old and I went to arts & crafts. I'm pretty blessed in that regard. I'm hoping there will be a sister-in-law in the near future as one of husband's brothers has been dating a girl for a year now. I like her but we definitely don't really have anything in common so I don't think we'd ever be super close. I have a much more complicated relationship with my family than I do with my husband's family.
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