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Not enjoying rude gender comments! (VENT)

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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May 8th, 2013, 09:25 AM
Lemon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,088
I had someone ask why we were having a 3rd, since we already had a boy and a girl, which is the perfect family...

There really is no winning with people.
angela - mom to joey (8) and emma (4) and william jude (10/16/13)
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May 8th, 2013, 11:53 AM
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Montana
Posts: 378
I have had several people assume I want a girl too so we have once of each. I'm with you - just a healthy baby. I think no matter what you want, as soon as the baby shows up you can't imagine life with out it or the other sex.

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May 8th, 2013, 12:10 PM
MrsPea's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Somerville, MA
Posts: 1,946
I have a friend who had a really terrible pregnancy (was on bed rest for most of it) and was sure she was one and done after that. She got the RUDEST comments from people, strangers at the grocery store, ect. as if having only one was the worst, most awful thing in the world. People are jerks plain and simple! It's none of their business anyways.

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May 8th, 2013, 05:09 PM
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 1,228
I have no idea why people insist on creating these expectations. It's like you flipped a coin [however many] weeks ago and the decision was made at that moment (you have about that much control over what sex you have, whatever people tell you), but you don't know if it's heads or tails yet, and yet people are generating a mystery around it as though you could reach in and flip the coin to match their desires. What an unfair position for them to put you in!

Also creating this situation around something like a person is just so alien to me. It's an individual. It's going to be what it's going to be (this doesn't just apply to chromosomal sex) regardless of anyone's personal desires - why set yourself up to very possibly be disappointed (50% chance is huge) by getting attached either way to the idea of one or the other? Give the poor kid a chance to be what it is. ... and don't give the first thing you know about it the potential to be some kind of let-down, right?

Besides - gods forbid it ever gets back to your kids that you wanted something else when you got them. How terrible and sad.

(In other words, if you *do* end up having a gender preference or disappointment, definitely don't put it in writing, and CERTAINLY don't post it on the internet.)
Wren and jamieshalon2 like this.

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May 8th, 2013, 06:35 PM
Iluvmybabies*'s Avatar Mama to 5 girls and 1 boy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 7,641
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I get this ALLLLLL the time with 4 girls
When I found out my 4th was a girl people actually said sorry to me gahhhhh

I try and ignore it but it still makes me MAD!!!!!

I get amazing comments after being soooo sick every time with Hyperemesis it's so sad

Oh and the"you know what causes" comments lol I get allllll those
Matt(38)DH & soulmate for 15 1/2yrs (V-Feb 20/08 * VR-Feb 18/11)
6 time HG survivor , AP Mama to 5 GIRLS & a 1 BOY
Karrara 11 01/11/05, Kaiah 9 1/2 07/01/06, Kayda 8 01/12/08
Katara 4 02/10/12, Korra 2 1/2 10/10/13, Kannon 14mo 02/21/15
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May 8th, 2013, 06:56 PM
SierraWinter's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: So Cal.
Posts: 1,696
Sorry for all the comments and pressure you're feeling. But this one is on him, not you - mommies only provide the X chromosome, daddies are the one with the X & Y chromosomes, therefore if you have a child with testicles it came from daddy. Not sure if that makes you feel any better but you can let DH know if ya have a son its on him
Iluvmybabies* likes this.

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May 8th, 2013, 09:13 PM
iCathy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Fairfax, VA
Posts: 1,794
Originally Posted by jamieshalon2 View Post
What I hate the most is when I tell people that I am pregnant now. They all want to jokingly say "you know they know what causes that now".
I usually look at them and say in a really sarcastic tone " OMG do they really? I had no f'ing idea?!?!"
that usually shuts them up pretty quickly.

My comeback to "you know what causes that,right?" Is "Yes! And I'm really good at it!!" THAT shuts them up!! lol
jamieshalon2 likes this.

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May 8th, 2013, 09:19 PM
*Lana*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,279
I expect to get some comments at some point about when we are going to try for a boy. It's like people say stupid stuff like that just to hear themselves speak.

Remember... the male is the one that determines the gender of the child. My DH said he would only have boys because that's what his dad and uncle had...that backfired for him.

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May 9th, 2013, 08:03 AM
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 397
I am in almost the exact same position as you so I know EXACTLY how you feel! I have a 3 year old son and DH really only wants 2 kids, although I see myself having 3. Since he seems to have his mind made up, I convinced myself that I had to have a little girl since this would be my only shot. We found out yesterday it is another boy. Although I did feel an initial wave of disappointment, I am super excited to be having a healthy baby boy. My disappointment is over the fact that I might not ever have a little girl, not the fact that this particular baby is a boy. I am so glad my son will have a little brother and now that we know he is a boy I couldn't see it happening any other way. We did receive comments from family, but it did not bother me as much as I thought. I think the best thing to do is make it clear to the family that you are happy either way beforehand. That way if it does turn out to be a boy, they know that you are happy and will hopefully be happy along with you. Yesterday when we told family a few people said "Aw I was hoping it would be a girl", or "You were wanting a little girl, are you bummed?". Although comments like this are annoying, I found that they really didn't bother me as much as I thought. Me and my DH are happy with the outcome and I am just focusing on moving forwards. I know the family will catch up with us eventually and be happy about another boy as well.
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May 9th, 2013, 10:16 AM
*Lana*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,279
Got a kind of rude comment/question today. Told someone it was a girl--I didn't say anything like, "I'm having another girl." Her first response was, "Are you okay with another girl?" One I said I was sure said congratulations. She is a really sweet person and she is the last person I would have expected that from.

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