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Baby Shower drama already

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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June 6th, 2013, 08:34 PM
CARLACB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
Posts: 1,034
Sooo my mom, sister and aunt are throwing me a shower in July and I am VERY grateful. My mother booked the room already and I told her that I wanted my best friend to make my cake. She just called to tell me that she won't even tell me the colors or the theme of the baby shower, so that means I can't give my friend a heads up for the cake. I ended up getting mad and telling her to get someone to make the baby shower cake and I'll get my friend to make me my own cake. I know she wants it to be a surprise but I want the main cake to be done by my friend and icing/cake flavor of my choice. I hate plain vanilla cake and chocolate and I REFUSE to eat buttercream frosting. So my personal cake will be just for me and she is upset because she wants everything to be "cohesive".

Maybe it's just my bit**y hormones but I wanted the day to be special for me and my mom doesn't even want to hear about things that I like. Oh yeah, she wants to rule everything but she also asks me to send out invitations to everyone and not to give out my registry information b/c she thinks no one will use it. I'm just ready to say screw the whole thing. That's like throwing a birthday party for someone who is deathly afraid of clowns and you hire clowns for their party and play the movie IT in the background.

Blended Family of 5 and 1 on the way.
Makhari 6
Maleaha 5
Coty, Jr 7
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June 7th, 2013, 12:01 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 10,537
I am sorry she isn't listening to you. [[hug]] I hope that you guys can work it out and you can have a drama free shower that is all you're hoping for!
Shelley, mom to:

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June 7th, 2013, 06:54 AM
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 196
My mom and my best friend are throwing me a shower. They've included me in the important decisions (theme, date, guest list), but I'm not really participating in the shower planning. They want everything to be a surprise, too. So I got them in touch with each other. That way they get to make it a surprise, but it's still cohesive.

Will your mom talk to your friend so they can plan it together?
Baby #2 due November 28th!
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June 7th, 2013, 09:06 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,617
Some people get too caught up in playing the host role and forget the reason they're throwing a party/shower in the first place. I'm sorry. That would frustrate me a lot, too. If she wants to keep the colours/theme a surprise from you, could she give your friend a call or send her an email directly to give her a heads up on the cake? That way your friend could know what the expect, your mom would get her "cohesive" theme without spoiling any surprise for you and you don't have to deal with the drama from anybody.

Doesn't she want her invitations to be "cohesive" too? I would use that as a reason to let her send them. It's strange that she doesn't want you to give out registry information. I don't see the big deal - people will either buy off of it or they won't. If someone isn't going to anyway, I don't understand how it could hurt to include the information for the people who DO like using registries for gift ideas.

*Excitedly expecting baby girl number two!*

Thank you to Babydoll213 for my fabulous siggie!
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June 7th, 2013, 09:32 AM
AmbzAsh's Avatar Little Miss Sunshine
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 704
Girl, I feel you with the "drama, drama, drama!"

So, my mom and best friend are planning one of my showers (the one back home) and my bf's sister is planning the other one (the one where I live now). I am sooooo appreciative of everyone doing this for me! So please don't let what I have to say make you think otherwise lol

My best friend said she wanted to take on planning my back home shower and wanted to know if my mom would help her along with a few other people. Of course, my mom said she would love to help. They both decided to include me in on some of the important decisions....date, guest list and theme. For the theme, I gave them two that I really liked and gave them the "freedom" to choose between the two. This is where the drama comes in. Apparently, my best friend is making it VERY difficult for my mom to get in touch with her. My shower is July 28th but being that it's summer, my mom thought it would be appropriate to get the invites out by the middle of June (due to people making summer plans). My mom called my friend over and over and over and over trying to find out which one of them was going to be doing the invites. So my mom finally said "Forget it, I'm going to start working on them." My mom asked me to send her like 5 or 6 templates of baby shower invites that I really like with the chosen theme and she would choose from there. My friend then decides to finally get in touch with my mom after 2 weeks of not responding to phone calls, emails, texts, etc. SHE wants to do the invites. Thankfully, my mom hadn't started/ordered/paid for anything yet. So she asks me to send her some that I like as well and she will choose/customize. So one night at 12:15am when I'm SLEEPING, she sends me two photos of two invites she created (neither of which were of the ones I sent her).....the info on them was wrong, my due date was wrong, the theme was wrong and my boyfriend's name was spelled wrong. When I woke up and saw the pics at 6:00am and messaged her to give her a heads up, she responded that she had already ordered them and paid for them. Needless to say, I was upset and my mom was annoyed.

I feel so bad for my mom...she is trying so hard to get things done and make things nice for me but my friend just isn't cooperating. She is making it very difficult for my mom to get in touch with her.

Carla, like you, I am also very picky about cake/cupcakes. I DO NOT like chocolate cake or buttercream icing. I've always been that way...it's just me. So my mom and friend messaged me the other day to say that my cousin wanted to make my cake/cupcakes for the shower. First of all, she isn't a professional baker or someone who even does baking as a side business......she just like to bake on rare occasions....so I am very worried about how it's all going to turn out :-/ I know it sounds selfish but I want to be able to eat and enjoy the cake/cupcakes at the shower.

Overall, I know on the day of my shower, I wont care what the invites looked like or what the cake looks like...I will just be so darn excited for the day itself and having all of my family and friends together....but in the meantime, it's stressing me out!
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June 7th, 2013, 05:33 PM
CARLACB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
Posts: 1,034
I can't even pick out the colors or the theme without it being an issue. Sometimes I just hate people doing stuff for me because they take ALL the way over. I decided to do the registries because it was something me and my fiance could do together, get the coupons, free magazines, he has out of state family that wants a list of things and all that jazz. I only told them which of my friends and fiance family (mailing addresses, emails, phone number) that I wanted to invite. One minute it's asking me to call people, buy invitations, etc then the next minute when I tell them what ideas I have, it's "I'm/We're doing the baby shower, not you". Then do it all then and stop asking me s*** because when they ask or tell me stuff, I start adding my input. I should have just thrown my own shower My first one was not like this AT ALL. I got to tell them the colors that I liked, cake ideas, etc.

@Amb I don't blame you, we all want a cake to our liking. You would think that the people hosting for you, would want everything perfect for you and to your liking; not theirs. Your friend may need to take on a smaller role of picking up some finger food so your mom won't be so stressed out.

I probably won't care about the cake, the colors,etc but right now it's just irking the heck out of me because I'm sooooo different from them as far as what I like lol

Blended Family of 5 and 1 on the way.
Makhari 6
Maleaha 5
Coty, Jr 7
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