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Not feeling attached to the baby.

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By hugssandi
  • 3 Post By Brittanie
  • 1 Post By NCRG2010
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June 22nd, 2013, 06:27 PM
kara74's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,388
Ok I know it sounds awful but I'm not there yet. I felt a tinge of excitement at my first u/s but that faded fast due to feeling like crap most of the time. I feel terribly guilty like I'm a bad person but I can't deny the fact that I'm not feeling much of anything towards the baby. I feel like I was way more excited and into my past pregnancies by now. I'm hoping once I have my anatomy u/s and start to feel movement that I'll feel more attached.

Anyone else feeling this way? Like totally apathetic about the pregnancy and baby?

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June 22nd, 2013, 06:47 PM
JulieMc's Avatar Loving my babies. :)
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,004
I am excited, but not nearly as much as I was with my others. I think the losses after my daughter was born are the reason. I'm cautiously optimistic, but still nervous. It'll feel more real once I get the anatomy ultrasound and the babies are much bigger and I find out what they are and can name them.

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June 22nd, 2013, 07:20 PM
hugssandi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,033
Please don't beat yourself up! It will come when it's important, and the love will just runneth over.
kara74 likes this.
More people fail from a lack of encouragement than anything else!~ Mrs. James Hendry

I'm a Mary in a world of Marthas~Carol Barnier

I think you are too kind. Kind people give the people around them a hard time. You can't express yourself honestly, because you are worried about hurting other people's feelings, and that makes you miserable.~"Winter Sonata"
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June 22nd, 2013, 07:21 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Most of the time I don't think about being pregnant. Unless I'm overly nauseated. I don't really feel attached until the baby is born, really. You know what, THAT'S OKAY! It doesn't mean you don't love the baby. We're just kind of living in an unreal limbo right now.

I'm sure when you start feeling regular movement, things will start to change.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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June 22nd, 2013, 08:26 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 4,693
Same here. I'm too busy to think about it. But I will say I have zero desire to buy things. I just keep saying blah I will buy it after he is here lol.
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June 22nd, 2013, 11:41 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: I'm a husker girl :)
Posts: 16,336
The only baby I have been attached to before birth has been Brylie. Otherwise is just "yep got another one baking", but as soon as I saw hunter, I was head over heels, and I'm sure ill be the same for maverick. I think for me, I know what's coming. The first 6w are ROUGH.

Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
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June 23rd, 2013, 04:39 AM
Papasgirl's Avatar Down Syndrome Pregnancy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 4,498
I am attached but I have to sorta make myself. All the losses I had and being instantly attatched and then having to give up on it really changed everything for me. I'm too afraid to let it all sink in. I know once I can feel regular movements and know the gender, it will change. It's totally normal to feel disassociated right now! It will come in time!
Stefanie, Wife to Paul, Mom to cailyn (15), caleigh (14), cameron (13) christopher (10), Lilly (5), Emma(4) and Staci (2) 3/12/12 5/9/12 7/05/2012 1/24/13

Baby Girl Anastasia is my Rainbow!! Diagnosed with T21...
We will journey together
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June 23rd, 2013, 06:08 AM
HorseGal's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Kansas
Posts: 4,719
I haven't had any losses in the past and I am not as attached to this baby nor as excited to be pregnant. I honestly still havent told anybody except those I can't hide it from because I'm showing. This one came as a suprise and not under the best circumstances. I was on BC and he (and his family) thought he was infertile because a 4 year fiance never got pregnant with him but turned around and got pregnant right away with her now husband.
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June 23rd, 2013, 06:33 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
Don't stress too much! I'm sure the fuurther you get along, the mor attached you'll get
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June 23rd, 2013, 09:02 AM
feythful's Avatar Proud Dec '13 DDC Co-host
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 4,923
I was so excited for my first, but then every one after that, it seems like the anxiety and nervousness has overridden my excitement.
Wife to sweet husband Jeff and mother to 2 beautiful girls: Emily (2) and Jocelyn (1).

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June 23rd, 2013, 11:23 AM
summerbaby1's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 394
This is my first and from the beginning it's been almost total anxiety and nervousness and sometimes downright meltdowns and fear. I think it's because DF and I were not prepared and I'm one of those people when I get stressed out I go into this mode where I'm almost mechanical and try to get done whatever needs to be done till I burnout and have a meltdown. That has been this pregnancy so far with a few sweet moments, like the ultrasounds and such. I'm ready for something, anything to eliminate some of this stress so I can enjoy this!
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June 23rd, 2013, 11:40 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: CA
Posts: 1,676
I haven't felt really connected with this baby either. I've also felt the worst this pregnancy and I have two other children that keep me busy. I agree with the other ladies, the bonding with baby will come in time. Don't beat yourself up hon, I think what you feel is completely normal.

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