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How to Talk to Little Girls

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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  • 2 Post By Sneetch

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June 26th, 2013, 08:20 AM
Missa_Mae's Avatar First Time Mommy!
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: U.S.A.
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Anyone read this? Saw it on another board and thought it was interesting ...

How to Talk to Little Girls
Oh, Sweet Child of Mine

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June 26th, 2013, 01:52 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,239
I like it and I think she's right. I liked how she detailed her own desire to compliment the girl's looks first, because she really thought the girl was so cute. I don't think there's anything wrong with telling a girl that she looks pretty or complimenting her, but I do agree that when that becomes the main focus and a girl feels like that is what is most valuable, that is a big problem. I think most people, inherently, want to look good. But that should never be the most important thing or where we put our value, or anyone else's.

Also, parents are the ones who have the most responsibility and the most opportunity to teach a child their value and what is important.

My son gets compliments about his looks, and that doesn't bother me at all, but I do like to tell him that "being cute (or handsome) is fun, but it's not important." I hope that's a good way for him to understand what I want to teach him about himself and others.

There is a girl from his kindergarten class who I think is probably his best friend. She's really sweet. He told me that when he first met her, he thought she was kinda pretty (I think she's quite pretty, but that's what he said), but that after he got to know her more, he thought she was REALLY pretty. I thought that was really sweet, and I hope it means he has internalized some healthy attitudes about beauty.
HalfDozen and nameetog like this.

Last edited by Sneetch; June 26th, 2013 at 01:54 PM.
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June 26th, 2013, 02:01 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NH
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I also think she is right. I constantly struggle with my daughter and this very topic. My FIL in particular is SO overboard with how pretty she is, she's his princess etc etc. Of course I think my daughter is gorgeous BUT I don't want her to get a message that her worth is wrapped up in her looks. I am constantly telling her and you are SMART too. I want her to have a healthy attitude towards caring for herself and having a good self esteem and wanting to look and FEEL beautiful. It isn't easy

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June 26th, 2013, 04:18 PM
ThaiSpice's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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June 26th, 2013, 09:32 PM
Mommy in the Making
Join Date: Aug 2012
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My pastor did a talk on this type of topic recently. Besides refraining from focusing on and telling girls how cute or pretty they are for the reasons Fatale mentions, its also important to not put too much focus on successes and grades and winning at sports, etc. While it is important to encourage a child to strive to be the best they can be, you don't want them to think that if they aren't the best or successful at something that they are a failure and worth less than they truly are. The most important thing is for the child to know how much they are loved by you and family and God (if you believe). That way when they fail they don't think any less of themselves.
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June 27th, 2013, 11:24 AM
Purple_cat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I liked the article and it was a good reminder for me.
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June 27th, 2013, 01:44 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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I tell mt baby every day that she is beautiful and I dont think there is anything wrong with that. I also tell her she is smart and sweet.
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June 27th, 2013, 05:09 PM
Karilynn6's Avatar Proud first time Mommy!
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Location: Georgetown, TX
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I find myself telling my baby how pretty she is all the time, and I have to remind myself to tell her she is smart, special, funny, etc. I agree with the article, to an extent, but there's definitely got to be a balance with it all.
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