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how much does your husband or so help at night.

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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July 11th, 2013, 01:33 AM
bobbiejo1982's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 750
Just wondering as mine is still off.work with us and sometimes helps but sometimes is very selfish and says he is too tired.
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July 11th, 2013, 01:46 AM
PurpleStar's Avatar March 2015 DDC Co-Host
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Sunny CA
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For night feedings, my DH is up with me...he will get Giana from bed and change her diaper, I will nurse her and then DH will put her back to bed. During the day, he does everything I do except BF.

IMHO, DH telling me he's tired totally wouldn't fly. Its OUR child and we share responsibility & duties. If he even tried to pull anything like that, I would call him out on the BS and then set him straight.
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July 11th, 2013, 02:13 AM
overlinmommy17's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Mt. Holly , NC
Posts: 955
My husband does nothing to help at night. I don't complain much about it. He helps with so much during the day with the other kids and cooking and working that I choose my battles. He doent have a boob and I choose to BF.

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July 11th, 2013, 02:18 AM
MrsLat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 4,134
Eh, he helps sometimes. Not as much as he did with our other son. He does one of the night time feedings. None of the diapers and doesn't hold him much. But I really wish he would do more, that is for sure.
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July 11th, 2013, 02:46 AM
Mom2LillieAidan's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Alabama
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He really doesn't help at night unless he has to work late and Aidan is giving me trouble going to bed. As long as he's fed, he'll take over with him when he gets home so I can get some sleep before he needs to eat again. I really don't mind him not helping at night because he does a good bit during the day and I really enjoy the one on one time with no interruptions at night. Plus it gives me time to watch something I might not otherwise have time for.

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July 11th, 2013, 04:39 AM
MarylandMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Maryland, near DC
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DH does the diapers at night and then goes back to sleep. With Anna, since she was the only one, I did everything at night so that he could sleep for work since I could nap with her during the day. This tie, with an almost 3 year old running around and a baby that won't tolerate being put down during the day, there is no rest for me either. He does the diapers and I BF. If we did bottles at night, we would trade off with that.
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July 11th, 2013, 04:53 AM
laurenicole's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 224
he doesn't really. he does the cooking and cleaning and a lot of other things, though. he also gets up early on the days he didn't have an 8:00 class to bring the girls to summer camp. there's not really much for him to do when I'm nursing.
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July 11th, 2013, 05:33 AM
momneedscoffee13's Avatar SAHM to Pirate & Princess
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DH takes over responsibilities with Connor and does his nighttime routine - brushing teeth, reading books, putting him to bed - every night. He was basically doing most of this before Peyton came along, so not much has changed. I'm usually feeding and putting Peyton to bed around the same time anyway, so we just each take a child basically. But he does go to work in the mornings so he doesn't do anything in the middle of the night, not that there's much he could do but change a diaper. Being that we're all in the same room, it still wakes him slightly when I get up to change her, but he doesn't complain too much!!

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July 11th, 2013, 06:01 AM
TeresaV's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NY State
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Since I haven't returned to work yet I can't justify DH getting up at night when he has to get up for work and I don't. I'm hoping DH will get up once when I go back to work, although I'm not holding my breath. He sleeps like a rock. He is helpful when he gets home from work, so I really can't complain.

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July 11th, 2013, 06:21 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Near Washington DC
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My husband is awesome. He gets up, we tag team it. Plus she has been taking the bottle at night, so one of us will warm up some breast milk while the other changes diaper and we trade off feeding her every other night. he gets up at 530am to go to work everyday, so I will usually take the feeding and tell him to go back to sleep.

I am a stay at home mom, however i don't get to nap during the day with her or anything because I have a 5 and 12 year old at home too. I feel I work just as hard if not harder during the day than he does so I don't feel guilty about him getting up at night with me to help.

He doesn't ever complain and pretty much takes over diaper duty when he gets home from work without being asked.

He is a really good guy, but he wanted to be a dad more than anything in the world when we first met.
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July 11th, 2013, 08:06 AM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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For the first 3-4 weeks, SO didn't do much with the baby in general. I guess I just figured since he had to work, that I'd get up at night. Then I felt bad having him do anything with her when he got home because he had worked. Well, let me tell ya, that went out the window when Anna stopped sleeping as much during the day and I stopped being able to nap with her. I became so completely exhausted that I was getting really ******. Finally, SO got the hint and now has started getting up with her at least once at night. Sometimes we trade off, other times we have a deal (depending on when he works the next day) that he takes the first two wake ups, and I'll take the rest. It's been working out a lot better now that I've been able to get more sleep. I don't think he realized how hard it was - especially the first few weeks getting up every 2 hours - taking care of the baby and trying to heal from an infected c-section. He's doing a lot more now and it's so much better.

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July 11th, 2013, 08:45 AM
TeresaMomTo2Boys's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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He changed a diaper last night....that's all he's done (at night) in the last 4 weeks

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July 11th, 2013, 08:48 AM
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He doesn't. But then again she sleeps through most of the night and I'm not pumping or anything so if she wakes up at night, she goes straight to the boobs and DH doesn't have those.
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July 11th, 2013, 09:25 AM
zkat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Right now, not much. I am off and opt not to pump. Next week he will take half the wakings. He did every other waking with Bourne, too
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July 11th, 2013, 10:00 AM
Super Mommy
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Location: St. Paul MN
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He doesn't wake up much at night. He will if I ask him, but I'd rather not bother him when he's got to work in the morning. I'll ask him to change his diaper every now and then. Last night Sam was getting pretty fussy and he offered to pat him to sleep but I was already up, so I declined. The baby was up a lot last night, so when DH got up to go to work I asked him to take the baby downstairs with him so I could get another hour of sleep before he had to leave, and he did. He helps out a lot with our older boys, keeping them entertained when he gets home from work, and he's pretty good about doing housework, as long as I ask, he'll do it, or it just doesn't occur to him to do it.
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July 11th, 2013, 10:43 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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Location: North Carolina
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DH is really good about helping at night. He can't help feed Henry but some nights he'll do a diaper change or just take him to rock if he is having a hard time settling so I can get some sleep. He also gets breakfast for the girls and keeps an eye on Henry so I can get a shower before he goes to work. DH tends to work late but he gets home in time to put the girls to bed because Henry tends to be cluster feeding then.
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July 11th, 2013, 10:58 AM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Minneapolis
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DH is working a pretty physically demanding job so I let him sleep but if little man is super fussy and won't sleep then DH will get up and walk and rock etc. But lately I've been telling little guy to be quiet and not wake daddy cause DH has been coming home and doing the cooking and cleaning etc and he helps with DD when I'm busy pumping etc and he helps take care of little man while I am bathing DD. And luckily Tristan only wakes up once at night typically.
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July 11th, 2013, 11:02 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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He helps if I need him too. Most nights though she just finds the boob and goes back to sleep which in turn I do too. If I ask him to get me a diaper he will or if I have been up trying to get her back to sleep he will give it a go. He is also good about taking her downstairs when she wakes up at 5 for the day. So I can sleep until he has to go to work or she needs to be fed again.

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July 11th, 2013, 12:06 PM
ashleykathleen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,612
DF helps at night, just not with the baby. Kiefer still wakes up in the middle of the night a few times a week so DF deals with him when that happens. As far as McKinley goes, she is BF and only wakes up once a night so I dont even bother waking him up because its not a big deal. I don't see the point of waking him up just to change her diaper and hand her back to me. Plus, he goes to work very early and his job is very physically demanding. If he isn't completely alert and focused he could end up seriously injured and that's just not worth it to me.

Basically, he has "Kiefer duty" and I have "McKinley duty" and I'm totally cool with our arrangement.

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July 11th, 2013, 02:10 PM
hilachu's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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we're having issues with DH helping at all
i generally have to ask him to do anything with her as opposed to him just taking over
last night she woke to eat and wouldnt settle back down around 12am
he was still up, didnt try to help feed her
i finally made him take her to try and calm her down, he did and insisted on handing her right back to me where she promptly started crying
so frustrating
believe you me this will all change in two weeks when i go back to work, we will share

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