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I feel so guilty/anxious

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By summerbaby1
  • 4 Post By *Leah*
  • 2 Post By Papasgirl
  • 2 Post By HorseGal
  • 1 Post By swade66
  • 1 Post By ImVictorious
  • 2 Post By Brittanie
  • 1 Post By CherryLimeade
  • 1 Post By lily26

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July 13th, 2013, 09:41 PM
summerbaby1's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 394
I quit smoking cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant. Then about a week ago after a fight with DF and just not being able to take the stress, I smoked a cig, then another, and I actually bought a pack the other day.
Today I chucked it, because every time I'm done I feel like a piece of s*** mother. I'm so afraid that I've hurt little one and I don't know what to do now. I'm just overwhelmed with guilt and just want to hear that little heartbeat again and know everything is ok!

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July 13th, 2013, 10:59 PM
*Leah*'s Avatar TTC the newfashioned way
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,604
Just quit now. You can't change the past. I know I lost my baby...but I still sometimes check in on you girls....so hope u don't mind I chime in.....and the best thing you can do is know u messed up and move fwd and be good. ((hugs))
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July 14th, 2013, 04:24 AM
Papasgirl's Avatar Down Syndrome Pregnancy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 4,498
Just quit now. Unfortunately many moms smoke while pregnant. My neighbor just had a baby girl this past February. She is a heavy smoker to begin with and didn't so much as slow down while pregnant. Luck for her, the baby is perfectly healthy.
Stopping now will make you and your baby feel so much better. Try to find some other stress release. I was a smoker for years and quit. You can do it. if you have an ultrasound pic, put it someplace that you will see it so you won't buy cigs. My mom used to put pics of us kids on her cigarette pack and everytime she went for one, she had to look at us first. It didn't stop her all the time, but it did stop her most of the time. You and your baby deserve a healthy start. Good luck. Don't beat yourself up. Just don't smoke
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Baby Girl Anastasia is my Rainbow!! Diagnosed with T21...
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July 14th, 2013, 07:18 AM
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 18
Quit again. I think it's great that want to quit for your baby. My mom never quit for us kids, either before pregnancy or after. She did not get to attend her girls' weddings or meet her grandchildren. I am excited to pass on her genes; she was the most wonderful woman. I admire that you quit, and you can do it again.
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July 14th, 2013, 07:23 AM
HorseGal's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Kansas
Posts: 4,719
It's highly doubtful that you have caused any permanent damage to your baby. But, I would strongly urge you to stop now and never start up again even after the baby is born.

My ex smokes. Every time my son comes back from a visit he has respiratory issues or an ear infection. Its heartbreaking and frustrating that his health takes a hit because of someone elses bad habits. We have barely scraped by having to not get tubes yet.
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July 14th, 2013, 07:33 AM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sewickley, PA
Posts: 39,416
I was lucky that smoking made me incredibly ill so it was easy for me to quit when I got pregnant with Elizabeth and then with Flynn. This time I hadn't started back up yet.

All you can do is quit again. Please don't beat yourself up, it isn't like you were out chugging beers and gettin wasted. I am sure your baby is going to be just fine.
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July 14th, 2013, 09:55 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: CA
Posts: 728
You can do it. I know it's hard when your stressing, and once back in the habit your back in. I had a week of smoking, stressed out. It was hard to stop, but the sooner the better.
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July 15th, 2013, 08:31 AM
JulieC7's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 346
Just a temporary setback. Beating yourself up about a mistake is not helping. You are on the right track, keep on truckin! Think about every cigarette you HAVEN'T smoked. Every fresh breath of air you take. You're doing great, one day at a time, and your baby thanks you. Next time you want to give in, wait 5 minutes. Then wait 5 more. Soon, the craving will be over. That's how I quit a few years back.
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July 15th, 2013, 08:40 AM
blakesgirl09's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,709
Start from scratch, take things hour by hour if you have to. Each hour that you make it with no cigarette, you will feel that much better about yourself and the guilt will fade. Don't stress about it. That doesn't do anybody any good. (((((HUGS)))))

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July 15th, 2013, 08:55 AM
Dolly Lama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 1,765
Lurking from September DDC.

When I got pregnant with my second child, I used to smoke, a lot (pack a day). Since we were using condoms, I had no clue for months that I was pregnant, so I continued on as I had been - smoking every day, plus drinking and partying on weekends. I found out by accident that I was pregnant at probably around 4 months, then quit everything. She's fine.

Babies are more resilient than we give them credit for, and whatever is done is done. Smoking is very addictive, hard to give up, and you caved when you were stressed...You're not a POS mother; you're human.
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July 15th, 2013, 09:22 AM
summerbaby1's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 394
I had one yesterday and caved and had one this morning. but I made a promise to myself and to LO last night that I was going to beat this.

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July 15th, 2013, 09:30 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Here's how I look at it: Only good mothers care about being good mothers. Those who truly are bad mothers don't CARE about whether what they do harms their children.

You don't have to be perfect to be a good mother. The important part is that you are trying to do better. Just keep trying. You're doing great.
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July 16th, 2013, 12:22 AM
CherryLimeade's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,060
Be positive and let yourself start over with a clean slate. You can do it, mama. Sometimes quitting bad habits can be a hard battle. But it's worth it! Every day you go without, think of how proud of yourself you are
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July 16th, 2013, 03:04 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
You're trying and that's all that matters! From everything I've read from you, you don't sound AT ALL like a POS.

I have a few smoker friends, and there ob's told them that it's easier on your body to cut down, then to stop cold turkey during pregnancy. As a non-smoker this advice floored me, BUT one friend didn't bother to even try to cut down- she took the advice to go ahead and smoke as much, if not more... Thankfully her baby was born healthy and very close to his EDD.

I seriously doubt you've done any major harm to your baby at all!

I do like the idea that was mentioned about having your babys ultrasound picture near, to prevent smoking.

As mentioned, just take it one day at a time... you can do it!!
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