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OT: Stay-at-Home Moms...Buying presents for DH?

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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  • 5 Post By Mom2LillieAidan
  • 1 Post By navywifey2003
  • 1 Post By MamaSkunk

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July 19th, 2013, 07:44 AM
Joanne Nicole's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Mississauga, Ontario
Posts: 1,037
DH's birthday is tomorrow, and I'm faced with the same dilemma that I've been faced with every birthday and Christmas since I became a stay-at-home mom... How do I buy him a gift with his own money?

I mean, I know that it's "OUR" money. But when it comes to getting gifts for him, it always seems like he's just buying himself a gift. This past Christmas, I made him a giant tin of all his favourite cookies, plus his favourite apple pie...and he seemed really happy with that. And when I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he just requested a nice dinner and the apple pie again, instead of a cake.

I don't know, maybe I'm over thinking this. Whenever he says, "I don't really need anything", in my mind I'm thinking like a woman...a woman will tell you everything's fine and they don't really need anything, but then be disappointed when they don't get anything. But since he's a man, when he says he doesn't need anything, he probably really means that he doesn't need anything...right?

I did give Fiona $10 and took her to the dollar store and let her pick out a bunch of stuff that she thought Daddy would like. It was funny to see what she chose without any input from me. She got him a giant rubber snake, a glow-stick light saber, his favourite chocolate bar, a dinosaur egg that hatches out a dinosaur when you put it in water, and two foam swords so they can have sword fights. So we're going to wrap those today, and it'll be fun for him to open those silly gifts. I just feel kind of bad that yet again, I'm not getting anything for him.

So, for the other stay-at-home moms out there...how do you handle gift giving for your spouse?

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July 19th, 2013, 07:47 AM
Mom2LillieAidan's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Alabama
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I have no problems spending money on Alan. He works extremely hard to earn it and he deserves to be surprised with it.

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July 19th, 2013, 08:25 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Location: Clovis, CA
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I see what you are saying but if I had that mentality all the time I would never buy anything. I agree go buy him something if you want too.
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July 19th, 2013, 09:03 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 26,352
I love what your DD picked out for him! What a cute idea. Yeah I just buy my DH what he wants

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July 19th, 2013, 09:20 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,625
Yeah, same here. I buy my DH what he wants, and he usually gives me a list of things he wants but we were to stingy to buy without the excuse of a birthday or Christmas. Typically it's video games I do love what your DD bought him! That was a cute idea!

Thank you *Kiliki* for the beautiful siggy
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July 19th, 2013, 10:44 AM
momneedscoffee13's Avatar SAHM to Pirate & Princess
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Ditto above, if it was just his money, I would never buy anything! I always try to buy gifts that he isn't expecting. Something that he mentioned he wanted awhile back, I'll make myself notes on my phone. Or if we go out shopping on the weekend and he really wants to get something but talks himself out of it, those sort of things!

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July 19th, 2013, 11:33 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
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My DH likes to have apple pie instead of cake, too! He requests it every year

I just buy whatever I want for DH. I'm technically in charge of the budget so while he earns the money I have the final say in how it is spent.

'Scuse the bad typing, please. 'Breast is Best' but not when browsing the internet!

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July 19th, 2013, 11:53 AM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Minneapolis
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I have no problems spending DHs money on him. But there is always that one thing guys like....yep I use going down there as a gift only lmao and that's free....just an inconvenience for us lol
LisaS likes this.

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July 19th, 2013, 12:01 PM
rcjh12's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Kansas
Posts: 1,008
Like the others said, it's 'our' money, but I also make a little from online garage sales and selling things I make, too. I like to try to use that to buy things for DH when possible.
09/03 - 09/06 - 06/13
"Would I rather be feared or loved? Um ... easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." - Michael Scott
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July 19th, 2013, 01:53 PM
Joanne Nicole's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Mississauga, Ontario
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I guess even though technically I know it's our money, not his...I never really truly accepted that. I don't have any trouble buying things for the kids or groceries or things that I know DH needs...but I NEVER buy anything for myself. My clothes will literally be in tatters before DH notices and tells me to go buy new clothes for myself...I'll go a year in between haircuts because they're too expensive, even though he gets his hair cut every 3 weeks.

I like Jess's way of thinking of it - that he works hard for his money and deserves to be surprised with it. I'm going to have to remember that. Then once I get over the mental block of spending his money, I just have to figure out what to buy for him...because like I said, he always just says that he doesn't really need anything!

And as for Karry's idea...lol, well that doesn't really work for us. He's perfectly happy to go a month or two in between DTD. I'm the one that's always begging for it. So I can't really use that as a gift or bargaining tool since I want it more than he does!

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July 19th, 2013, 07:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 3,551
I know what things he usually wants and will typically buy for himself. A month before his birthday/Christmas, I'll tell him not to buy himself anything and I'll get him the stuff I know he would get himself anyway. LOL! That way "I" am buying him a present. I also do make him a lot of stuff. I'll have the kids do craft projects for him, make a special dinner, pick up some good beer, invite his friends over, etc.
Lisa, mom to Alie and Christian
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July 20th, 2013, 02:10 PM
phantomsgrl11's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Ardmore, PA
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Not a full sahm but this is what works for us :

What we do is set a birthday budget so that way the money is already allocated to that same with Christmas and other gift giving holidays and we go to the store/shop online what have you with that set number in mind. Before I'd use the credit card not realizing that he'd be able to see exactly what I bought. LOL It takes some trial and error. Dh never gets stuff for himself so I like to spoil him on his birthday.

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July 20th, 2013, 02:59 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 2,153
Not a SAHM. However there were times DH made more and times when I do. I like to think that sibce we are married and I bore his children, it is our $ whoever technically earns it. If he makes $ it is b/c I am doing things with the kids giving him the time to work. Likewise when I work extra it is b/c DH is doing his share plus with kids. As for gits, I get DH clothes as he hates to shop.

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