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Another name dilemma...

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By hotpinkheels
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September 2nd, 2013, 10:41 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 1,200
So hubby and I thought we had finally agreed on a first name for this baby, Dylan. He would either be Dylan Timothy, Dylan Elijah, or even Dylan Elijah Timothy (yes it's long, but would have the first name we both like, and honor both his dad and my mom with the middle names).

But here is the problem...I asked my best friend if she liked the name and she said no. And no for a very personal reason. Years ago her husband had cheated on her while she was pregnant with their son (they worked things out and are still together) and he had gotten another woman pregnant. So Dylan is the name of his other son who he has to pay child support for, but doesn't get to see. So it is a very touchy subject for her.

So do I consider her feelings in it, or do I keep the one and only name we've agreed upon? I never even thought about it while discussing the name with hubby because she rarely mentions it, and I honestly don;t even think she's ever mentioned the name to me.

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September 2nd, 2013, 10:47 AM
hotpinkheels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,994
This is why I don't tell people my names.... that's a tough one now that you know, but you have to go with the name that YOU and DH feel is best for your little kiddo!
Minilegs likes this.
Baby Heels 11.6.13
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September 2nd, 2013, 10:58 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 3,604
That is tricky! Names mean such personal things to people. If it was a relative like your sister I'd say to choose a new name if you could. With it being a friend its not so obvious. You could call him by a nickname when talking to your friend. Or this may be the way you get the name you originally wanted!
shana1979 likes this.
Laura, homeschooling mama to Christine 1-02, Nicole 5-03, Everett 4-09, Alister 9-10, Moira and Giselle born October 24, 2013!

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September 2nd, 2013, 12:31 PM
HappyBabyB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 1,994
I say keep the name you and hubby want, don't base your name decisions on friends spouses past mistakes. If we did that there'd be no names left to choose from!

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September 2nd, 2013, 12:41 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,850
funny, i thought of dylan as a name if i had a 2nd girl. (i like girls to have boyish names).

honestly, with your friend that truly sounds like a personal problem for her. i don't mean that in an insensitive way. if dylan is the name that fits your baby and feels right for your baby, then that's his name.
ducksaresnazzy likes this.
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September 2nd, 2013, 08:53 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 32,940
Oooh, yikes. That's a really tough situation. You said she is your best friend, honestly, I'd have to really think about her feelings on the situation. Is a name worth potentially losing a friendship. I would hope she would be a good enough friend to not do that, but you never know how she might react.
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September 2nd, 2013, 09:01 PM
FairyDustMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 4,471
I agree with Kris.. If she is a very good friend I would maybe test the waters and bring it up that your Dh likes the name and see what she says. You can also mention you don't mind the name. She might be ok with it .. Not sure if it is worth losing a good friendship over this.. Although I can't imagine it getting to that point - I'm not in her shoes it could be a difficult name to swallow.. On the other side you should have the right to chose any name you like with your Dh.. What does your DH think about the situation?
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September 2nd, 2013, 10:19 PM
ducksaresnazzy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: new york
Posts: 2,479
i could see how this would be incredibly unsettling for your friend, but this is your baby you're talking about, not her husband's. hopefully, after some more heart-to-hearts, she'll realize that. it's kind of not fair of her to let his infidelity influence your name if it's the name you and your husband love.

and like one of the other ladies said; you could let her call him something else, like his middle name. my aunt is calling my daughter Riley (her middle name) because she just doesn't like Yvonne at all.

(i don't mean any of that harshly; it's really hard to establish tone online!)
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September 2nd, 2013, 10:51 PM
chelseamb's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 11,391
Noone can ever agree on a name 100%. I would talk to her and just say you had no idea but this name is one you and your dh both like ... It is not any kind of attack on her or anything . But you would really like her blessing. Unfortunately Lukas is "that child" but his old step mom (they got divorced and btw I had NO CLUE! I was not part of his lie!) says that some of her sons friends are named Luke or Lukas and it doesn't bother her .

Thank you to Vicki.. For my amazing Siggy

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September 2nd, 2013, 11:01 PM
Txmom4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,935
Hmm. I say maybe think of other names but don't put Dylan off 100% just because of that. I know that it sucks for her, but are you also supposed to refrain from using any of her (or any of your friends) ex girlfriend/boyfriends names? And it's a
Kids name, she can't be mad at the kid, the parents, yes but it's not the kids fault he was conceived by cheating parents.

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