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ugh. family.

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By Betts

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October 19th, 2013, 11:23 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
My mom passed away when i was entering into my teen years.. and my dad is still around. he remarried.

This pregnancy is my first, so of course ive been trying to question and lean on the women in my life. sometimes though, therres certian things i wish i could ask my mom because from small bits and pieces ive gathered from my aunts and uncles it sounds like my pregnancy is really similar to hers. i thought talking to my dad would be very helpful... but hes exteremly closed off about my mom... i guess i cant blame him. everyone deals differently. im just frustrated with how awkward talking is.

i thought id solve the problem by asking to see the baby books mom wrote. She was a writer, and noted EVERYTHING from her pregnancy and when i was a baby. they are in the crawl space at his house. my dad refuses to get them, my stepmom wants everything out from under there so shes on board. shes even offered to have her son or my bf go under and get thibgs out... but my dad always seems to have an excuse..its just frustrating.

im tempted to go over myself wwhen theyre at work and go under the house because theres even baby things from when my nephew was born that my stepmom wants to give us!!! but im not sure my pregnant butt can fit under there.

/end rant.

family is.... Interesting at times... maybe im making too much of a deal out of this and should just drop it.
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October 19th, 2013, 11:32 AM
Betts's Avatar First Time Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 872
But she's your mom. You have a right to these things. It would also be a way for you to feel like your mom is with you during your pregnancy.

Maybe talk to your dad about how much it would mean to you, and have your step mom help you?
bundle2baby likes this.

Thanks Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!

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October 19th, 2013, 09:23 PM
HorseGal's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Kansas
Posts: 4,719
Big hugs. And I can relate in a way so I understand your frustration and even hurt feelings. My dad died when I was 13 and I never met him. My sisters who knew him still, 11 years later after I entered the family, won't make me copies of pictures or anything else. They always have an excuse. And my grandma won't do it either because after he died she kind of lost her mind and can't "handle it" she says.

It's very frustrating to have something kept from you that is rightfully yours. I mean this is a parent, we should have full rights to them.

My suggestion... take your SO, a friend whatever... and just go get them. I did that with some stuff from my grandmothers. When I was still in HS i raided her storage and found old letters and some pictures. I made copies for myself and put them back. IMO it's not fair for this stuff that we have a right to, to be kept from us because someone else can't handle thier own emotions.
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October 20th, 2013, 06:34 AM
mgail's Avatar servantoftheKing
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: TN
Posts: 558
So sorry, I hope you can talk to your dad and get him to come around. Maybe he'll finally see how important it is to you during this time. Being pregnant is hard enough! Tell him that having access is part of your uncontrollable nesting instinct and you just can't do without them.

Hope it works out!
Lura Grace, our gift from God...

Born Tuesday December 3rd, 2013 at 3:11pm
8 lbs 7 oz, 21 inches long

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October 20th, 2013, 10:16 AM
redbirds's Avatar Blessed Again!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CO
Posts: 18,447
OH what a situation! They've no right keeping this from you! I agree, just GO GET IT Grab someone to come with you and squeeze under there, maybe even while your step-mom is there but no one else. She sounds willing to move things along.

You have every right to see and keep some of that. ((HUGS))
Gwynne, celebrating the newest of our four precious miracles

Hat's off to Vicki for my cute siggy, thank you!
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October 20th, 2013, 10:47 AM
Jodimarie's Avatar Proud mommy to Kaiden!
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,208
That would be really irritating.. I agree with everyone else, I'd go get them with your step moms help or someone else. But I also have very little patience for ppl with excuses lol You have a right to that stuff.
It took three years to get pregnant with my first and surprisingly I had my second 19 months after him!

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October 20th, 2013, 08:38 PM
hugssandi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,033
Still thinking of you and this issue and hope resolution is on the way!!!
More people fail from a lack of encouragement than anything else!~ Mrs. James Hendry

I'm a Mary in a world of Marthas~Carol Barnier

I think you are too kind. Kind people give the people around them a hard time. You can't express yourself honestly, because you are worried about hurting other people's feelings, and that makes you miserable.~"Winter Sonata"
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October 21st, 2013, 07:53 AM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sewickley, PA
Posts: 39,416
That is so frustrating!!!

I'd take SO over there and just say he is going to get the stuff so your dad doesn't have to go out of his way.

That is so frustrating!!!

I'd take SO over there and just say he is going to get the stuff so your dad doesn't have to go out of his way.

***Don't expect me to lie to you just because you won't like the truth.***
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October 21st, 2013, 07:59 AM
blakesgirl09's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,709
I'm sorry hon!! I agree with the others, go take what's yours!

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October 21st, 2013, 05:14 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,307
I'm so sorry! I hope he comes around and realizes it would help you. Hopefully everyone can get him on board. Hugs!
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