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What was the nicest thing done for you when you lost your baby?

The Comfort Spot

Tools for coping with your loss

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December 31st, 2007, 09:34 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Hoosier Girl!
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I actually have had quite a few meaningful things done for me. After our first loss in April, DH got me a Willow Tree angel and gave it to me on Mother's day. I was dreading Mother's day because I didn't think I deserved to celebrate it but DH made me realize that it was my day and I was a mother to an angel. Then Father's day rolled around just after my second loss and I got DH a similar Willow Tree angel. Then as I woke up from the D&C after my third loss DH was there in the recovery room with a gift bag. He had gone to the gift shop and got me another Willow Tree angel. They all sit on our mantle with our Willow Tree wedding couple. Mommy and Daddy and our three angels. Then this Christmas my mom got me a pendant with three hearts that symbolize our three angels. I will never take it off! I think the fact that our families acknowledge our angels is the most meaningful to me. There are so many families out there who are not as supportive and don't acknowledge them that I feel very blessed in that respect. The last thing that really meant a lot to me was my OB. During both my D&Cs I was comforted so much and my dignity was respected greatly. I fell asleep both times completely covered with my OB holding my hand and reassuring me as I cried knowing that when I woke up my baby would be gone and both times I woke up completely covered back up. I never had to be awake for the spread eagle and everyone in my business. When we sat in the office after learning of our third loss our OB was very sympathetic and cried along with us. She really was amazing and I felt went beyond her duty as a DR.
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March 3rd, 2008, 04:16 PM
Mistyx6's Avatar Mommy of 6
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: CT
Posts: 6,377
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My MIL had bought her box and had it engraved. She also bought myself and her matching lockets and asked If I could put some ashes in it for her. And everytime I see her wear it. I know she hasnt forgotten.
Thanks for the Beautiful siggy Kristy!

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March 17th, 2008, 10:21 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
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probably the most meaningful thing done for me actually made me laugh so hard I cried.

I worked in a call center, and of course half the population was pregnant. When i went back to work afterwards, all my pregnant friends had stuffed their clothing to make them look just fat instead of pregnant. They looked so lumpy and amusing I couldn't help but laugh. But the fact they cared enough to try and save me the pain of seeing them pregnant, touched me deeply.

Another friend was due a month before me, and when she gave birth I went and saw my first baby since my loss. I walked in the hospital and she handed me her daughter and kissed me on the cheek and said "This should have been you. I didn't want my baby, but you talked me out of aborting her, and then you lost yours. This should be yours, but I'm glad she's mine. Thank you."

I think we cried for 20 minutes.. but it took me an hour to give her the baby back.
1798 Days to Conceive our Miracle!
Baby Girl Due August 7th 2017!!

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March 20th, 2008, 10:40 PM
ChattyAshley's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 3,397
We got two big beautiful flower arrangements delivered to us; one from my parents and one from DH's work.

My MIL came to babysit me one night when DH was gone and brought me a cute Easter bunny.

A couple ladies from my church brought over a bunch of Sobes (my favorite drink) and candy.

All our friends and family members have really rallied around us. It's amazing how much support we've received. The emails, the phone calls, the visits... we are so blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives.

Thanks to Babydoll213 for my cute siggy!
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May 1st, 2008, 06:25 AM
Kobain's Mommy's Avatar Future A&M Aggies Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: North Dakota
Posts: 2,585
The weekend following my M/C my best friend called me that Friday and TOLD me I was going out of town with her and her family. She knows how hard it is on me and doesn't want me home alone, so pretty much every weekend has been spend with her and her family.

made by BAM

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March 21st, 2009, 06:22 AM
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 3
My partners aunt m/c, just last night. And I wondered if anyone could give me any idea's to be as helpful as possible?
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September 27th, 2009, 08:07 AM
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1
It's been awhile since the last post, but I think this deserves to be bumped, as it's a good reminder to remember some of the nice things that has happened in these dark days.

For me, the nicest thing done for me when I lost my baby was given by a woman who works in a spa. Perhaps this seems simple, but I am an American living in Europe and don't have any friends or family (other than my husband and son) in the area. When we lost our baby, I felt emotions in depths I never knew before. I could talk with my husband, luckily, but was only able to talk with close friends and family over the phone (which wasn't enough).

I had planned a trip to Asia before finding out about my pregnancy, and-- even though I had had a D&C only 2 weeks before-- I had no choice but to go on the trip. One way to prepare was to get a bikini wax, and I was thankful that my spotting had ended a couple of days before the appointment (TMI).

Well, Murphy's Law set in right before the woman arrived in the room to give me my bikini wax, and I started to bleed. I couldn't believe it: here I was, grieving over the lost of our baby, preparing for this trip I had no desire to go on, and-- of all things!-- bleeding. The woman (who I've met about 3-4 times before, but had no real relationship with) came in before I could think of what to do. I laid down on the table, and before I knew it, I was telling her all about my missed abortion to explain the bleeding. I asked her not to tell anyone (because I do know people in my town superficially), and tried my best to hold back my tears.

She listened with a kind of silence that conveyed true sincerity, and when I was finished, she said "And now I'm going to tell you a secret." I listened to her almost in awe, for I couldn't believe how sweet she was being. (Up to that point, I had only experienced disregard for what I was going through-- mostly by medical staff and services.)

When I was done and dressed, she came back in and hugged me. It was the kind of hug where the other person doesn't stop the hugging-- if anything, it's you that stops-- and she said, "It's ok to cry... just let it all out."

It may sound silly, but that day I found the first person that had no "obligation" to me that cared. That hug meant so much to me; sometimes comfort and kindness comes at moments we least expect.
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April 30th, 2010, 07:06 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 590
I got dinner for a week from the ladies at church. From my EX MIL I got a card. That was surprising. I got a lot of support from DH I would wake up crying and screaming that it wasn't real and he would hold me. At the hospital when they asked me at what pain level did I want pain reliever, he said "at 0 she should never be in any pain." That was really sweet.

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April 30th, 2010, 07:07 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
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I was sent flowers by many friends. It was very sweet. And DH held my while I cried. Its nice to remember those nice people and things.

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie

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May 16th, 2010, 09:04 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,924
There were so many nice things for me done when Seth died.

For one, the cemetery gave us our plot and the service.

I think the most memorable thing though, is the people that came to the service. We had given our work the info but I really just expected that family would come. There were so many people there. I just felt really loved.

A friend of mine makes Jewelry. On the day of the service she dropped off an envelope with a necklace for me and a matching more simple baby sized necklace. Over the years this has become my favorite memorial of Seth. It feels so special when i I wear it. I have the baby necklace hanging in my jewelery box so I can see it and think of him anytime I get out a piece of jewelery. I did appreciate it when she gave it to me. I thought it was a sweet sentiment , but it's become so much more important to me as the years have gone by.

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August 28th, 2010, 07:56 PM
Libby22's Avatar Super Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Palmerston north, New Zealand
Posts: 9,170
I got a box of chocolates from my sister to cheer me up, was so nice of her to do that. Just her thinking of me was nice.
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