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Forum: 2015 Playroom


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  • 2 Post By ashj_1218

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August 10th, 2014, 04:59 AM
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 160
I told my parents yesterday. My parents love babies. They were so excited about the other 3. The were excited when they found out my best friend was expecting #4 a few weeks ago. And they are less than excited about this new little one.

I did the pea in the pod thing yesterday morning (it turned out so cute, will have to post a pic!). My dad said nothing; still hasn't said anything about it. My mom was surprised but hasn't really talked about it and has only pointed out all the negative things since then. They got rid of all the baby stuff, dh and I are not in the best place right now, 4 is a lot (for them and us), I am older, I will never sleep again!

I know they are worried. I know they are processing. I know they will come around once it sinks in. But right now, they are bringing up all the things I felt when I first got my BFP. I know all this stuff. I don't need them reminding me about all of it. Dh and I are prepared to accept this as a blessing and move forward - it's not like we had never talked about a 4th. I'm worried others will have the same reaction when we tell them.

And, oh, I'm 6 weeks pregnant. So, you know, pregnancy hormones and all. Not really helping.

Thanks for letting me vent.

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August 10th, 2014, 06:51 AM
MomClell's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: PEI, Canada
Posts: 4,019
I'm so sorry they're not being more supportive Like you said, you have thought of all of this already, and even if you hadn't, what good is being negative going to do? I hope they come around *hugs*

Can't wait to see the pea pod pic, btw
Moira, mom to Jonas (July '06), and Liam (miscarried at 17 weeks, March '14). Awaiting Baby #3!!

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August 10th, 2014, 09:12 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,705
I'm sorry they're being like that. I can kind of relate. This pregnancy was planned but DH is really unenthusiastic about it. He says he doesn't want to get excited so soon. Which I understand, but he keeps like chastising me when I express excitement. It's frustrating when you want people to share in your excitement and they don't. They'll come around!
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August 10th, 2014, 09:15 AM
gamerrrgrrrl's Avatar Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: WA State
Posts: 27
I have some family members like this, and it's so frustrating! If you don't have anything nice to say, smile and nod. Don't be a total buzzkill.

My grandma did that with our last pregnancy (which was IVF, so everyone knew when to expect a test result). When I told my grandma, she was upset that I told her before 12 weeks, because it just wasn't right, and that she hoped I didn't jinx myself into a miscarriage.

If only people took a breath before they started talking. I'm so sorry you didn't get the support you were looking for. <3

DS1: Jan 12, 1998
DS2: b/d Nov 16, 2011 (premature, incompetent cervix)

After five years trying, including a premature stillbirth after IVF, we've been surprised with another shot at parenthood! <3

Aug 4 - hcG 381, progesterone 19.2
Aug 6 - hcG 902
Aug 29 - Dating and viability ultrasound
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August 10th, 2014, 02:03 PM
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 160
Thanks, ladies. We haven't really told anyone else yet and it really helps to have a place to let this stuff out. My mom often talks and acts before thinking about how she is affecting me. It can be hurtful sometimes because we have a pretty close relationship but I know it will work itself out because of that too.

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August 10th, 2014, 03:54 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 26,401
*HUGS* I'm sorry your parents are reacting this way!

My sister didn't say anything besides "congratulations" to my daughters when we told her. That was it, no "when are you due" or even a hug. I was pretty disappointed by her reaction. The next time she brought it up as yesterday and she asked "Does mom know about...you know?" I am planning to tell my parents when I see them this week and I might have a breakdown if they don't at least act happy. I'm crazy hormonal already, so I don't think I can handle any negativity about the pregnancy.
Andrea, mom to 3 beautiful girls - Abigail (8) Annabelle (6) and Alexis (3)

Expecting baby #4 in April - It's a BOY!

Two Little Monkies on Etsy
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August 10th, 2014, 07:54 PM
mcfly's Avatar Lil' Old Lady In Training
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,415
Aw geez, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope they get excited for you soon and stop bringing you down!

I'm anxious about telling my parents, I know my dad doesn't like babies and doesn't get why anyone would want to have kids, and my mom is a super negative person, so I honestly just want to send them both an e-card and not even bother telling them in a fun way in person. (Even though we all live in the same city still.)

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August 10th, 2014, 08:43 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,971
Ya know. At least said best friend is thrilled and excited to be doing this with you. (Even if she kinda sucked at time management this weekend).

They need time. When they think of all the good things that come with this new pea, they will be excited. But it stinks that their reaction was so blasé. I do think they are worried for you, for the toll it could take on you. I don't think it's that they won't welcome another little one with open arms, they just want to know that their "little one" will be okay with a few more years of no sleep and raging hormones.

Your mom will process in a week or two and then you will be chatting about names and shopping and full moon calendars. But you know that already.

Hugs. Big hugs. It will be good. Not everyone will react that way.
Shadeauxe and petitchou like this.
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August 11th, 2014, 04:56 AM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 5,820
I am like your parents in that I often forget what people need/want to hear and just switch into practicality mode. I have been learning to just keep my mouth shut but it's not always easy.

I'm sure they are happy for you. They're just letting worry have free reign over their brains. I hope they calm down soon and start being more supportive.
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August 11th, 2014, 06:56 AM
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 160
Y'all are great. I'm sorry so many of us are worried about others' reactions to our little beans - so glad we can be happy for each other together

I told me mom's best friend yesterday and she was excited. She was my third grade teacher and is like my second mom. She also knows everyone in town so I guess the word is out...

I love being at my parents' house but I will be happy to head home to clear my head a bit and get back into my own routine. My nesting seems to have kicked in early this pregnancy and I am itching to get home and do some decluttering before school starts.

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August 11th, 2014, 10:44 AM
Lorena26's Avatar ♥ Love My Boys ♥
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 5,973
Gah I hate when people (especially our parents) have less than fantastic reactions. My mom had that same kind of reaction. She knew we were TTC too so I was like when she reacted how she did. But whatever, i'm happy so screw her I'm done with letting other people affect my happiness. Anyway I don't mean to go off on a tangent, darn hormones

So yay for babies!!

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August 11th, 2014, 11:00 AM
LaceyMay2630's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,167
Aw I'm sorry they had that reaction, hugs mama. I'm sure they're excited for you, it will just take a while to sink in. But we are all excited for you here!! I can't wait to see the pea pod pictures, I bet that turned out adorable!

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