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Forum: Natural Family Planning and FAM


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July 30th, 2009, 01:20 AM
Posts: n/a
So... I'm kind of stuck, here. I've been trying out Billings... and I like it... but... I'm not sure I'm entirely jazzed about my online instructor. She's very... cold, I guess. She doesn't really answer my questions with anything more than short sentences, and she's not very friendly. To be honest, I'm scared to even ASK her questions. I honestly don't like charting with her, because she doesn't seem to listen to, or trust my observations. For example, I am almost 100% sure I peaked, based on mucus observations and my usual O symptoms (cramping in one side, increased moodiness etc.) and I observed a mucus pattern consistent with ovulation... and she altered my chart and told me that I didn't.

I'm not sure why this frustrates me so much... I mean, I guess I'm just being prideful. I just don't like it that someone who isn't me, doesn't know/feel my body like I do, and is rather terse is changing my chart around and telling me I know jack squat. Could I chart on my own? I have a basic understanding of the rules... and she's not commenting or replying to my messages anyway. I feel like all I've learned, I've been forced to learned on my own... Is that horrible?
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July 30th, 2009, 09:27 AM
benandali's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 4,215
Wow, that's horrible! I'm learning BOM online as well and my instructor does write me back and answer questions but I too get the feeling she is annoyed w/ my ?'s and sometimes I feel I should wait and abstain and when I ask her about it she said her instinct is that it's all infertility...(I had a baby 7 wks ago and am breastfeeding so my chart is a little funky!!) Anyway, I'm like....I can't go by "instinct" here! I'm gonna be pretty mad if I get pregnant because of an instinct. I need clear cut rules and guidance. I'm a little frustrated as well and I think you have every right to be! Sounds like your instructor is not taking you seriously at all...I'm sorry!
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July 30th, 2009, 04:54 PM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 11,397
Aw, that's really crappy. I'm so sorry she's being so unhelpful!

If you're still in the learning phase, I would highly encourage you to stick with her a bit longer or find someone else who is more helpful if your need to avoid pregnancy is serious. Have you checked the BOMA-USA website to see if there are any local teachers who might be able to work with you by phone/email instead? I no longer take long distance clients, but if you ever just need a second opinion or a more thorough explanation about something - please don't hesitate to PM me. I don't mind answering questions at all.
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July 30th, 2009, 05:18 PM
SavaAngel's Avatar Mama to AJ & Katie
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: League City, Texas
Posts: 32,402
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I recently found out my instructor is from overseas and that is why it takes awhile for messages. Some things get lost in translation too - (like I was talking about moving on to an RE to my instructor and she had to ask me what an RE was). I went through a similar bout where I was SURE I O'd and my instructor was sure I didn't.

Oh and Peak and O are different - peak is just when you dry up - you can be wet after you have actually O'd - I always get a day or so of wetness after I have felt my O pains (and gotten a positive OPK since we are trying desperately. My wetness the last few months has been helped by medication too).

PM to see if I am available to make a siggy - decisions will be made on a case by case basis.


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July 31st, 2009, 01:05 AM
Posts: n/a
Thanks for the love, girls.

Shawna, thanks for the offer, I may in fact take you up on that. Our family planning needs are more timing and lack of insurance... but it's not like SUPER crucial, I'd just like to not be in MASSIVE amounts of debt. If we do end up pregnant, we'd both be stoked.
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July 31st, 2009, 02:24 PM
Posts: n/a
Could anyone explain other methods for me? After more issues with my online instructor, I'm seriously considering switching. I know my body, and am pretty convinced I ovulated. Not too mention, I'm having all my typical PMS symptoms, and noticed some early spotting today. I figure my AF will arrive sometime in the next 1-4 days. I think this would be a good time to attempt a new method, if I do indeed plan to switch to something else.

I'm not saying I dislike Billings, I just have issues with my instructor. I don't need someone being rude to me about something that is as deeply personal and sensitive as my intimate life with my husband, you know? I guess I'm just really uncomfortable with her.
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July 31st, 2009, 02:49 PM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 11,397
If you look in the online resources, you will find a link to an NFP Method Comparison. It's a brief description of all the different methods. I'm sorry your instructor is being so unhelpful.
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July 31st, 2009, 07:10 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,618
that's really sh*tty!!! I would feel the same way, and be wanting to either go it alone, OR find a new instructor... No reason to be treated like that - and as you said, YOU know your body best out of anyone..

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August 1st, 2009, 12:27 AM
Posts: n/a
Thanks for the support, I need it right now. At this point, I'm thinking about continuing to monitor my CM, but back it up with basal body temps... My mom (who is my best girlfriend, and VERY open) has informed me that that is what she used to do. (She's going through menopause and obviously doesn't QUITE need to worry about pregnancy any more ) At any rate, she had lots of sucess with temping...

I love the system of Billings, I just don't love my instructor making me second guess everything.
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