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Forum: Loss of a Parent


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March 15th, 2010, 10:56 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 27,101
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After a week long struggle with a bowel infection (and a 3 year struggle with cancer and dementia) my father has finally found peace and has gone on at the age of 55

I'm not sure how to deal. I'm an hour away, and tho I did go home last week to say goodbye, I've not had any real contact with my family since. I'm gong home tomorrow... I want to be with them.. my mom wants her kids with her.

Just where does one start with this? I just don't know what to do.
1798 Days to Conceive our Miracle!
Baby Girl Due August 7th 2017!!

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March 16th, 2010, 06:46 PM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In the Wild and Wonderful
Posts: 4,844
Hugs Ashley. I'm sorry you have to come to this board with all of us. I'm stuck in my grieving process so I can't be of much help to you right now. But I'm here if you need someone to talk to.
Me: B 28
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DSD:S 12
DD: A 6 Autism, Global Developmental Delays

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March 17th, 2010, 10:41 PM
MountainMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Southern Iowa
Posts: 23,407
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I'm so sorry Ashley. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my new siggy!

Click on my blinkies to tour some of my favorite boards!
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March 18th, 2010, 03:59 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Maitland, Florida
Posts: 9,385
Hi Ashley I'm SO sorry you are here

I have no advice...just love and prayers. I'm so sorry for your huge loss...there's just no way to describe the first few weeks. Just love your Mom, and keep talking about him and laughing and smiling...
my thanks to Claire1979 for the awesome siggy!!
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March 20th, 2010, 09:11 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 27,101
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Thank you girls. Funeral was yesterday and we all survived. Thought mom was going to collapse at the grave side at one point.. she begged me to keep her standing. I still have not fully cried, but I don't feel like I need to anymore. My dad is finally peaceful, no longer in pain. he can't hurt himself anymore, he can't get sick. These were all worries in the last few years of his life.

I personally laid him next to his final resting spot, tucking the bag his urn was in around him, the way I would have when he was sick with chest infections as a kid. We each have a small portion of his ashes, and it brings me peace to know that he'll be with me at home. Once his life insurance comes in mom is getting us each a pendant to put some in, the rest will go on a shelf in my room. with an angel for him and a photo.

I feel better than I did last week. Maybe it's being home with my family.. I wish he was here.. but he was so sick the last year and a half... now he's not suffering anymore.
1798 Days to Conceive our Miracle!
Baby Girl Due August 7th 2017!!

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April 23rd, 2010, 06:59 PM
ShannonMVT's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 10,874
Wanted to give you Ashley. Your siggy is beautiful. I just recently lost my dad (who also had dementia).

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