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A loss of Two Dads

Forum: Loss of a Parent


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June 5th, 2011, 09:20 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,925
One is actually my real dad and the other is my grandpa .

I was young when I lost my dad as I was only 10 yrs old at the time. My dad committed sucide on August 26, 1987 a month before his 40th b-day . I still remember the events of that day like yesterday and no one knew why he did that or even thought he had any issues that would make him like that .

I at times think maybe he had ptsd due to the bad dog bite he had which was a very bad bite because I was with him during that day when it happened when we went to his friends house and he told me to stay in the car so I did . I remember the house we went too as in I can still show you which one it was and how my dad only got to the front door to knock on the door to have him running to the car with a towel wrapped around his hand . He drove to the ER and told me not to look but you know as a kid curiousity and worry got me but the only real reason why he didn't want me too look because he was afraid it would scare me . I did look and saw his dog bite wound that it was to show his wristbone along with along part of his armbone .

Sometimes I just wonder what would my life been like if he would have stayed in our lives if things would have been different .

It's hard to miss a parent when you rarely knew your parent and after awhile you barely remember his behavious, actions and the person who he was to only remember tidbits of things with him but you do miss him because he's not here .

Oh how I thought this one time when I got pregnant and had a due date of my dad's b-day that was actually my 2nd pregnancy so I thought maybe it was going to be a good pregnancy but instead that ended up in a loss like my first one so I'm glad my dad does have two grandkids that he can play with there to be a grandpa .

So with a early loss of my dad my grandpa whose my mom stepdad ended up being more like a dad figure to me since I spent alot of time with him had special sleep over nites, waffle days , lunch and dinner outings. Along with weekend brunches and it was a special time . I had such a loving relationship with him that in reality he was really the only family member that really listened to me and the only member of the family that I knew loved me when I was growing up.

I didn't feel loved by my mom, my brother , my aunt nor the rest of the family because it seemed like they all looked down at me and I was always assumed to be the problem child in my family so I have a pretty sour relationship with my family which I think now some of the members realize I wasn't really as bad as my mom made me out to be .

As my grandpa got more ill due to water in his brain from aging that I tried the best I could to bring my son up to spend time with him before had passed on suprisingly he last nearly 4 years in a nursing home and only 3 of those years were really ones you thought were close calls .

He died a year ago from March 31 a couple minutes before April 1 . I wanted to say some good things about him at his vigil but I was so nervous about how I wanted to share it but was so afraid it wouldn't get understood since alot of people don't understand what I have to say and I cower in front of my family so I didn't go up there to share what I wanted to say .

My grandpa was also the last of my grandparents to go and so I try to get Brendan to celebrate grandparents day even though his grandma my mom is the only grandparent around for him as I never met my son's dad mom as in they were with issues .

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June 6th, 2011, 10:10 AM
NewportMamaBear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Priest Lake, Idaho
Posts: 12,944
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*hugs* I'm sorry that you've had to go through the loss of two father figures.
I lost my bio dad last November at age 49. I can't imagine the devastation that will happen when my step dad passes or any of my grandparents.
We are here for you.
Thank you Zarziza for a beautiful siggy
Missing my dad 2/23/1961-11/1/2010
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June 8th, 2011, 06:25 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: cny
Posts: 3,230
i am so sorry sweet.

i was never close to any of our family eather . but my grandma was the one who is my closest. ( who is now gone & has left me completly since i meet my husband ) she also had to bring mom over so she was buzy .. & it seems like untill this yr ( been 3 ) that they were buzy talking for neather has shown ,,, well both have this summer...

i know this sounds crazy but there has been butterflies ( one was there when mom passed ) and dragon flys ( which is more like grand ma ) hanging around the house

i have pic's of the family ..i quiz Trisha who's almost 2 and never met mom..1st time i asked her where is grand ma..she pointed at mom...

hugs girl kids know ... you and your family big hugs we are here for you

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June 20th, 2011, 02:37 PM
LJD3Tdance's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Eagle, Idaho
Posts: 60,398
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