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Bad day yesterday...second guessed TTC!

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January 16th, 2008, 06:49 AM
StacyRI's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 771
Yesterday was a HORRIBLE day!

It started normal ~ Kaleb woke up at 6:30 am (a little earlier than normal, but he slept 7 hours so I was okay with it), he ate, we played, washed up and dressed, then he fell asleep around 10/10:30 am for his morning nap (usual time). He woke up around noon, ate again and decided he was going to STAY UP!

I noticed he hadn't had a poopy diaper all morning (or afternoon for that matter) so I chalked it up to maybe slight constipation. He's pretty regular (as most BF babies). Well, in addition to staying up from noon on, he was SUPER SUPER cranky. Normally, Kaleb rarely cries (unless he needs to eat, sleep, or be changed ~ even then it's never a full blown cry). He wasn't really "crying" rather it was that annoying crankiness ~ the kind that wears at your patience. He wasn't happy in his swing, on his playmat, in my arms ~ nothing seemed to satisfy him. So, I constantly was whipping out the bbs to nurse him! Even that was a pain in the A**!!! He was wriggling, squirming, kicking his legs, jerking his head...he was actually HURTING me!

By 5/6 pm after literally hours of this...I had a slamming headache caused by gritting my teeth from stress. I called DF and screamed at him to get home from work. He owns his own business so he basically can leave whenever he wants. When DF finally got home at 7 pm, I handed him the baby, poured a BIG GLASS of red wine and took a long hot bubble bath.

While in the tub, I seriously was thinking, "what are you NUTS?!?! you want to have another one?!?!?!" I vowed to call my doctor first thing in the morning and get some birth control. Hell no, was I doing this again!!!

After my hour of mini-self-pampering, I returned to a still cranky and unsatisfied baby, and even worse ~ a now stressed out DF! LOL

Kaleb's antics continues until 10 pm, at which time he was so exhausted from being up for 10 hours straight fussing, he literally passed out!

I was still second-guessing my decision to have another baby and told DF that was it...I'm done. He said, "whatever you want, ultimately it's your decision because you are the one who stays home with the baby."

Well, Kaleb slept until 6:30 am this morning. I woke up refreshed, went and got Kaleb out of his crib and as usual, he greeted me with these great big "good morning" smiles. Okay, well thanks for making me feel VERY guilty about deciding against having another baby, Kaleb!!

I realized that I was making the decision out of sheer stress. I really want another baby! One day of fussiness and being stressed out and I change my mind?? That's crazy. I have 2 older children and I've been down this road before and it goes by so fast that I'll never remember the day Kaleb stayed up for 10 hours fussing!

We're still TTC...hopefully today will be a better day.

Sorry so long winded, I had to vent...thanks for listening (well reading)!
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January 16th, 2008, 03:13 PM
srwadma's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Thornton, CO
Posts: 626
I'm glad you feel better. I have those days too when I think what the heck am I thinking, but its usually short lived whe my oldest tells me he loves me or my dd just wants to cuddle. They remind me why I want more lo's.

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January 16th, 2008, 06:45 PM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Delaware
Posts: 49,968
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((((HUGS))))) I felt like that today!

Money is tight, I am tired, I feel like the kids are being so bad, and I have such a mess.

And yet I wanna bring in #7! I must be nuts!!!

But when your baby smiles at you or your older kids tell you that they love you its all worth it!

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