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Nopt even NTNP yet and dreading family reactions

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October 19th, 2010, 06:18 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Connecticut
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I know this is another common theme around here, but we are going to start NTNP soon (apparently DH wants to start sooner rather than later ) and just TALKING about it yesterday got me nervous about how we would tell family. My sister already says stuff like "Oh, now that Clara is starting to potty train you'll be done with diapers forever, I mean you BETTER be done"

I know a lot of us get this in different forms, how do you "break the news" especially when people aren't supportive?

Mom x 5

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October 19th, 2010, 11:37 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
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I was SO tempted to not tell anyone for a while this time....unfortunately we couldn't hold it in AND I can't hold in my tummy it's so practiced in this already that it just POPS on out! LOL....

Anyway....screw them LOL....no really! Tell them to shut up that it's not THEIR family so dont worry about it.

I started by preparing them....when they'd say something [stupid] like that I'd say "well you just never know" or "not so sure about that" or "we'll have to see, huh" or even "well it will be nice to be done for a while" or something....preparing them that you aren't considering yourself DONE. I hate presumptions. THey are annoying and irritating and quite hurtful if said wrong.

Our families took it way better than I expected...I hope yours does too!
Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
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October 20th, 2010, 06:31 PM
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Join Date: May 2005
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I agree...start prepping them now so it's not such a shock. I started doing that the last few months and now I no longer fear the whole thing. I think it's a lot easier saying "well we might have a 5th" when I'm not pregnant than saying "surprise we're having a 5th" while I am. Less hormones etc. Plus it give them time to get used to the idea too.
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January 23rd, 2011, 10:12 PM
palmetto_moon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 4,663
Oh God. I fear the same thing if we have more. I stupidly told my family we were definately done after our tenth just to not have to hear their mouthes. Really, the truth is, I'm not sure if we are done or not, but probably not. Done for a while maybe. But I don't know what we'll say to my family, which is the more vocal of the two. DH's family is just as opinionated but fortunatley less vocal. With the last couple of babies, I told hubby that I'd tell my family and he has to tell his. He never did and after the first trimester when I mentioned it on my blog (after issuing fair warning to DH) his family called when other relatives saw it and asked about it...

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April 24th, 2011, 10:16 AM
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I have a few family members on my dads side that are not supportive , they are not ashamed to come right out and tell us we have enough kids and should not be TTC another. so it will be difficult breaking the news to them once I get pregnant .
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April 26th, 2011, 09:11 PM
butterfly68's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Canada
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I believe my mother in law's exact words were "why would you want another one" when we told her I was pregnant with #4.

They are so negative!!! I seriously wanted to say "Because unlike you, I actually like kids".

*Thankyou Kiliki for my wonderful siggy*

Nearly 7 months since I quit smoking!!
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April 28th, 2011, 07:17 AM
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Originally Posted by butterfly68 View Post
I believe my mother in law's exact words were "why would you want another one" when we told her I was pregnant with #4.

They are so negative!!! I seriously wanted to say "Because unlike you, I actually like kids".
Do we have the same MIL?

Mom x 5

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April 21st, 2013, 05:27 PM
Formerly ConnorMorgan
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,268
Hello all. I have three kids and am planning a fourth soon. I am one of 2 kids so my mom already can't imagine having three let alone more. I'm more worried about my dad. Actually what I'm worried about is they always have to bring up the money question. You don't have enough money for another one? Your house is too small, what about your health? Do they really think I just woke up one morning and decided I love babies and want to have another one without thinking about any barriers or what it will be like when the baby is bigger. I'm more responsible than that.
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April 21st, 2013, 09:06 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: southern cali
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ya gotta do what ya gotta do -- if i let my parents tell me how many kids to have, i would have probably only one of mine. just go with your heart and things will fall into place.
what goes around, comes around.....
speak with kindness....

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October 5th, 2013, 10:53 AM
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 1
I mentioned to my Mother that I was starting to get baby fever and she actually told me to "buckle down and shut my knees"! I couldn't believe it. I want to try for a fourth, but the overwhelming disapproval is really discouraging. We have enough room in our vehicles, a stable place to live, and I am a SAHM. My husband almost got a vasectomy because of the pressure from other people that we should be done.*sigh* Why is it so hard to offer support to people who want large families, especially coming from the same people who praise you for your parenting?
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December 1st, 2013, 12:37 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,448
I'd love to know how it went for you. I'm sorry this is so common for mommies of more than 2 kids (really?!?). Just tell them you've done all you can to prevent pregnancy and not to drink your tap water.

ETA: mrsbabyfever--do NOT do anything permanent unless you and DH (and ONLY you and DH) both think it's a really great idea. Better than sliced bread. NFP done correctly with a barrier back up is sufficient. You keep your ability to choose. We gave ours up.
Married to a wonderful man
Mommy to DD, DS1, & DS2

Last edited by EMS2005; December 1st, 2013 at 12:49 PM.
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