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My X is bringing all the bad memories back

Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss


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September 19th, 2008, 08:53 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Upstate SC
Posts: 4,443
My X and I decided to forgive each other over our marriage break-up, which had some to do with having so many lost babies.
It's just bringing it all back and it scares me because I am pregnant again.

With our first loss I was 19 and I did what the Dr told me when I went in for my U/S for the second baby at 8 wks (I had lost the first twin at 6 wks) and he told me there was no heartbeat and to go home and miscarry and to call for an appointment when I missed carried. He brought up the fact that our children had been flushed down the toilet. I have been having dreams of the same thing happening with this baby, the other dream was the babies came to me and asked me why I flushed them.

The other losses were either at a hospital, chemical or we buried them 4 foot deep in a deep flower bed.

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September 20th, 2008, 02:31 PM
ShannonMVT's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 10,874
Oh hun, I am sorry. I know that must be really tough, especially having those dreams. Try to remember, it's not where our baby's physical remains are that truly matters, but rather where their soul and spirit are.

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September 20th, 2008, 11:18 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
I agree with Shannon. It was very hard for me to accept that my 1sy mc I took what I had passed to the ER, being told i could have it back after testing...then I was told (very coldly) that there was anything left "after it was cute up for testing". It just devastated me for so long. I had passed the 2nd baby at home & refused to give them that baby for testing...I am glad I was able to bury that baby - but that isn't always possible. My 2nd loss I wasn't sure exactly when I passed that baby & everything was flushed as well. It isn't a comforting feeling to think about that - but I also trust that where ANYONE'S body ends up has nothing to do with being at peace. I am certain the dreams make it harder to be at peace with that right now, but hopefully they will subside soon & you can come to peace with it all. I am so sorry you are struggling with this right now.
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

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September 22nd, 2008, 08:56 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,732
I'm sorry you're having to revisit such a difficult situation while newly pg again. That's a lot of emotions to handle all at once.
Do not sorrow; the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10
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