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Have you named your angels....

Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss


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December 5th, 2008, 04:53 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
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I think naming your angels is a beautiful way of acknowledging the short life our babies have had...it gives them (and you) a gift of validating that they were real even if no one else ever knew they were there. It doesn't matter the name - whether conventional or a nick name - it helps to be able to refer to your baby in some way other than the 1st mc, the 3rd angel, etc, etc.

If you have named your angels - what have you name them?

So you think it helped your healing?
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
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December 5th, 2008, 09:38 PM
ShannonMVT's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 10,874
I think it helped me to feel like I had lost a real little person. I also didn't want to refer to the baby in the future (to my Dh) as "the baby we lost".

I kept thinking the day after I miscarried "his name should have been Thomas" which was one of our boy names on our list. Shaw is my late grandfather's last name. His nicknames was/is Dear One and I still think of him that way as well.


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December 5th, 2008, 09:52 PM
DawnN's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: IL
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I named mine, for the same reasons you mentioned. It really meant alot for them to be referred to by name and not just as m/c #1, #2, etc.

My first, I named Terry Bechor, which means "tender first". I did not know if it was a boy or girl, so I gave the baby a gender neutral name.

Our 2nd baby, I named after his father (and grandfather), Thomas Arthur N. III.

The next baby I lost, we named Tabitha Zipporah. I knew she had to be a girl because we didn't dtd that close to ovulation and only girl spermies could've lived that long. We both liked the name Tabitha and Zipporah means "little bird" because she flew in and out of our life before we even knew her.

Our 4th baby that we lost, we named Theodore David, which means "Gift of God, Beloved of God".

And our last little one in Heaven, we named Taylor Lynn. Again, we didn't know the gender so we chose a name that could go either way. And the middle name, Lynn is both my sister's and my dh's brother's middle name.
Married 8/11/90 ~ Terry Bechor m/c'd 11/26/03, Thomas A. III m/c'd 7/15/04,
Sarah E. born 6/24/05, Tabitha Zipporah m/c'd 4/?/06, Theodore David m/c'd 8/27/06,
Taylor Lynn m/c'd 2/07/07, Benjamin E. born 3/25/08, Catherine A. born 6/03/09

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December 5th, 2008, 10:14 PM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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Yes, I did. I think it really helped me a lot...Gave me a sense of closure.

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
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December 6th, 2008, 08:05 AM
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I was always ok with calling them my angels. Then after our third loss we had the placenta tested for chromosome abnormalities and it came back as a normal baby boy. Since we knew we had a boy I decided I wanted to name him but then I felt like I couldn't name one and not the others. I picked two gender neutral names for the first two. I still call them my angels but now they also have names and I do think it helped me to heal some. It sort of brought me closer to them and I felt a teeny tiny bit of closure and I felt like by naming them they would always have their own personal identity and not just always lumped together as our three angels.
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December 6th, 2008, 11:43 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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If you have named your angels - what have you name them?

So you think it helped your healing?

Yes, I have Matthew and Mark who are named after their father and uncle and I have Mattie, who is named after her father (Matthew)... I have no idea why I named them after their dads, since their father's didn't want anything to do with them, but it seemed fitting at the time.

Yes! I love being able to call them by name to people. Makes them more real to me, and to those around me. The twins often get called "The Boys", but that's logical sinec that's what we also call my brothers. lol.
1798 Days to Conceive our Miracle!
Baby Girl Due August 7th 2017!!

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December 7th, 2008, 02:37 PM
ambee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I personally was never comfortable naming my early ones, I'm not really sure why. I actually wasn't even going to name Sophie but my fabulous midwife convinced me that it would help with healing and it really did. Because I'd had her inside me for 16 weeks and delivered her it would have been weird NOT to name her. So we named her Sophie Lucille...Sophie because we loved the name, Lucille because that was my baby sister's middle name that passed away when I was 12.

*Thank you so much to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!*

Sophie Lucille: In my life for a moment, in my heart for a lifetime. May 25th, 2006 at 16 weeks.
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December 8th, 2008, 05:28 AM
TheyGrowLikeWeeds's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I did not name them. Not that I don't think it matters, but it hurt too much to do that. I had named them before they died, but once they died, they were just angels to me. I never knew any of their genders so I felt I really couldn't give them an official name when I lost them.
Eliza - Wife to husband, Jason. Mother to twin boys, Cameron and Kiefer (6-24-08)

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December 10th, 2008, 02:22 PM
LisaB's Avatar Mom to twins + 1
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I did not name them. Not that I don't think it matters, but it hurt too much to do that. I had named them before they died, but once they died, they were just angels to me. I never knew any of their genders so I felt I really couldn't give them an official name when I lost them.[/b]

Me: Lisa, Mommy to twins +1
8/5/08 Beautiful twin girls Leigh and Lucy born after 4-year struggle with RPL & 6 losses
12/10/09 Surprise! Baby #3 is on the way, EDD 6/22/10

12/29/09 2nd ultrasound - joining team blue

6/16/10 Baby Ben is born!

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December 13th, 2008, 06:48 AM
*Firefly*'s Avatar Girlfriend and Blogger
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I named my angels. I found it helped me to personify them, to give me something to grieve that I could understand...but I think it is whatever works for the individual

I have had people tell me i was wrong to choose gender specific names because how do I know what they were.. I'm their mommy... thats how I knew.
Cause I know my weakness, know my voice,
Now I believe in grace and choice,
And I know perhaps my heart is farce,
But I’ll be born without a mask
~ Babel, Mumford & Sons

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