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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss


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December 18th, 2008, 08:57 AM
MountainMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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How do you respond when someone asks you how many children you have? I always put on a smile and give the accepted answer of "Two", but part of me is so angry and just wants to scream and jump up and down and make the world realize and accept that I have seven children. I may not have gotten to hold five of them, but I knew they were there, and I instantly loved them just as much as I do my living children. I just feel like by saying 2 I am denying my other babies, yet by saying 7 and then explaining I lost 5 I make others uncomfortable. So how do you all handle it?

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December 18th, 2008, 11:05 AM
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I always just say 2 even though i've had 2 m/c's and 1 chemical pg

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December 18th, 2008, 11:54 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Michigan
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I say I have one here on earth. That way if they care to ask about the others the door is left open & if they are uncomfortable, then at least I felt like I gave an answer that stays true to how I feel - if that makes sense. Before I had DS I used to answer that question usually with "I don't have any living children". I know it sometimes makes people uncomfortable - but then again I am a firm believer in "You shouldn't ask any question that you don't want a truthful answer about". It isn't my fault i have had losses or that others are uncomfortable with that subject - but it IS the askers fault for asking (if they don't want an honest answer that is) - at least IMO.
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
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December 18th, 2008, 06:28 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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I tend to get the "any kids yet?" question vs the "how many" so my reply is "Only in here" and tap my heart.
1798 Days to Conceive our Miracle!
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December 18th, 2008, 06:47 PM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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I depends on the day. It's usually either "None, here on earth" or "I have two darling angels in Heaven."

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Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
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December 22nd, 2008, 06:05 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
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This is a difficult one for me as well, I seem to get the question "is he your first" whenever I am out with Zech...he is not my first, 4 came before him but I didn't get to see them or hold them. Everytime I am asked that question my heart pangs...but I usually just say yes, because personally i don't like having to tell strangers my story, it's a difficult one, but if it'[s someone I know, like an acquaintence I might throw in, "it was a long road to get him" and then they will usually ask what happened and then I will tell them of the miscarriages.

Just wanted you to know you're not alone in this struggle with this question.
Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

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December 26th, 2008, 09:01 PM
DawnN's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: IL
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I will either say, "Two, this side of Heaven and one in the oven." or "Two here with us and 5 in Heaven...and we're expecting another baby in July."
Married 8/11/90 ~ Terry Bechor m/c'd 11/26/03, Thomas A. III m/c'd 7/15/04,
Sarah E. born 6/24/05, Tabitha Zipporah m/c'd 4/?/06, Theodore David m/c'd 8/27/06,
Taylor Lynn m/c'd 2/07/07, Benjamin E. born 3/25/08, Catherine A. born 6/03/09

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