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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss


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January 29th, 2009, 01:46 PM
tobynscarlett's Avatar TTCAL Co-Host
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 910
I just got off the phone with the coordinator for the Birth Stories & More group that I mentioned in a previous post. Not only are they going to let me speak, but the March meeting is going to be focused solely on Child Loss Awareness!!!! YAY!!! We are going to have the entire meeting to discuss infant, child and pregnancy loss. This is a HUGE step in the right direction and will provide a platform for further outreach if it is needed. I am really excited about this! I called asking if I could speak about my loss and instead I got an offer to include anyone that is interested in sharing!! I can't believe it.

Here is what I need from you They have asked me to put together some handouts with ideas people can use to help others on them. Please send me some quotes or comments that I can include in the handout (I will be sure to give you credit) and ideas they can implement in the event of another loss (such as small gift ideas, things that have helped you, acts of kindness that were appreciated...)

I really appreciate your help on this- if you would like I will be happy to send you a copy of the flyers by email!! I only have a few weeks to prepare so I need to get started now!

Special thanks to Marie "IBakeBoys08" for my beautiful siggy!!

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January 29th, 2009, 02:15 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 27,101
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I'll dig up some quotes when I sit down here again with supper. I have a few good ones that were emailed to me for an angelversary..
1798 Days to Conceive our Miracle!
Baby Girl Due August 7th 2017!!

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January 29th, 2009, 05:05 PM
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Omaha NE
Posts: 212
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How great! The hospital where I had my tube removal for the tubal pregnancy had a focus group a few weeks ago to see what they could do differently/better...it was painful but great. I will get back on tomorrow and let you know what was discussed.

Is this something for hospital/dr use or to help your friends/family deal with it?

My Angels:
Hope - m/c 10/5/04
Junior - m/c 1/31/06
Baby - m/c 1/27/08
May - d&c/lap/tube removal 6/13/08

IVF in September: BFN

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January 29th, 2009, 05:23 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern Colorado
Posts: 2,423
I had found this letter awhile back and posted it in the pg loss board and it seems appropriate for your situation. Please feel free to use this if it helps.

So many of us have had to deal with insensitive people and those who just don't know what to say.

Dear Friends and Family,

Please be patient with me; I need to grieve in my own way and in my own time. Please don't take away my grief or try to fix my pain. The best thing you can do is listen to me and let me cry on your shoulder. Don't be afraid to cry with me. Your tears will tell me how much you care.

Please forgive me if I seem insensitive to your problems. I feel depleted and drained, like an empty vessel, with nothing left to give. Please let me express my feelings and talk about my memories. Feel free to share your own stories of my loved one with me. I need to hear them. Please understand why I must turn a deaf ear to criticism or tired clichés. I can't handle another person telling me that time heals all wounds.

Please don't try to find the "right" words to say to me. There's nothing you can say to take away the hurt. What I need are hugs, not words. Please don't push me to do things I'm not ready to do, or feel hurt if I seem withdrawn. This is a necessary part of my recovery.

Please don't stop calling me. You might think you're respecting my privacy, but to me it feels like abandonment.

Please don't expect me to be the same as I was before. I've been through a traumatic experience and I'm a different person. Please accept me for who I am today.

Pray with me and for me. Should I falter in my own faith, let me lean on yours. In return for your loving support I promise that, after I've worked through my grief, I will be a more loving, caring, sensitive, and compassionate friend-because I have learned from the best.

Bereaved Parents

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