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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss


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August 14th, 2010, 12:05 PM
Lex&angels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: France
Posts: 3,736
Are your losses common knowledge?
How did people find out?
When did you decide to tell everyone? After how many?
I'm beginning to feel like this is going to need to become public knowledge soon. I can't keep living like this, it's become too much a part of me.
I'm just curious how/if/when you decided to let people in your life know.

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August 14th, 2010, 12:09 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,568
With our first loss EVERYONE knew we were expecting, mainly because I was 17 and once I told one person, that person told someone, so on and so forth! Therefore, once I found out about my loss I had to tell all of these people.

The 2nd time, less people knew I was pregnant. The 3rd time even less people knew.

With what I am going thru now I keep my supportive family and friends close and updated. I never realized how much information some people had for me until now.

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August 14th, 2010, 12:55 PM
Lex&angels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: France
Posts: 3,736
I noticed you do put some updates on facebook (about Natural Killer Cells), I'm not there yet, since on facebook I have more than just close friends. Close friends and family DO know, but not everybody yet and I'm honestly on the fence about who will know and who won't.
I'm thinking about this because I'm tired of being asked when we're planning on having kids. I just want people to know. I don't want to have to explain it to each and every person. I wish some days that it was common knowledge.
But once it's out, it's out and there's no going back so I'm really wondering right now.

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August 14th, 2010, 01:04 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
With my first loss, of course everyone knew since I was 22 weeks a long...I made the annoucment on facebook that she was gone and I was going to be induced, so that's how most people found out...I told other people that aren't on facebook...Everyone knew I was pregnant, so I had to tell them...with my 2nd loss, again I was in my 2nd trimester, so everyon pretty much knew I was pregnant again...I also announced on facebook and told the few people that aren't on there...Same with my 3rd loss...Maybe I should of learned by then that I shouldn't tell anyone that I was pregnant again, but I did...I'm not sure what i'll do in my next pregnancy...I actually talk a lot about my pregnancy loss on facebook....I think it annoys some people, but I posted just a few days ago that if they don't want to hear about it, they are more than welcome to remove me from their friends list.
Forever Missing My Baby Girl Ella Grace
Born Sleeping October 14, 2009

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August 14th, 2010, 01:20 PM
ambee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 5,740
It's common knowledge with just about everyone that knows me. I feel that my losses, especially Sophie, are such HUGE parts of who I am. I feel like the road to getting Grace were my wars, and I feel the need to talk about that and make people realize that I EARNED this baby with blood, sweat and too many tears to count.

That being said, I don't make the announcement that I'm pregnant to anyone other than very close friends and family until I'm well into my 2nd trimester. Like Megan, I had a 2nd trimester loss and I show very quickly with my pregnancies. There'd be no way I could keep it secret after about 12 weeks or so. I figure if I'm going to lose a baby after 12 weeks I'll need all the help I can get coping with that.

*Thank you so much to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!*

Sophie Lucille: In my life for a moment, in my heart for a lifetime. May 25th, 2006 at 16 weeks.
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August 14th, 2010, 07:51 PM
MommytoaMiracle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 10,571
Everyone close to me in my life know about our losses.
I feel like if nobody knew I was pregnant & I lost the baby, I would have noone to help me through the hard time.
That's when family/friends are needed the most, In my eyes.
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August 15th, 2010, 01:49 AM
~LaurenNoel~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 7,909
I did not announce my first one, since it was very early. I did announce my second loss though on FB (which is my only contact with family in Canada). I was going in for my 10 week ultrasound, and posted then. Of course, later that day I was crushed to have to update my post that the baby died. This time I waited until I was 11 weeks to really say anything.
///...........................Lauren, wife to Jay, mom to Wesley and Ruby


................ ...

Wesley (7.16.09) Severe GERD, FTT, Gastroparesis, Sensory Processing issues, Tube fed, (G tube currently), suspected Mitochondrial Disease, trialing Gastric Stimulator. Nissen Fundoplication 7/2012
Ruby (2.16.11)
Nissen Fundoplication and Hiatal hernia repair 10/25/11
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August 15th, 2010, 07:42 AM
austinmommy3's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 2,056
Most everyone who knows me knows of my losses. Since most of my close friends and family live in LA., I waited until 14 weeks to let them know with this pregnancy. They understand why I wait so long, but for me there isn't any magic amount of weeks for me to be at and everything be okay. Since I was showing I figured I would announce.

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August 15th, 2010, 03:12 PM
hollann1984's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,307
Only a few friends and our parents, not even any of our other family. I know its a part of me and some days when im upset about it on a bad mood and someone is lie "when are you going to have kids" i really want to shout at them " We are trying but i cant stay pregnant!!" but i never do. in a way i sometimes wish people knew but i am somewhat embarassed that this keeps happening to me( i know i shouldnt be).

** Thank you Oona for the awesome siggy**
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August 15th, 2010, 06:00 PM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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Ugh. My reply didn't take.

We told my family after the second loss and his family after the fourth. Friends found out sometime in the middle. Now, if asked when we're gonna have a baby I answer with "We've been trying for more than three years and have four babies in Heaven. Maybe next time we'll 'have a baby'." It shuts them up and they don't ask again.

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
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August 15th, 2010, 08:22 PM
Halloween81's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1,236
Most people know about all of our losses. We are very open about it and have a good support system. I couldn't imagine DH and I going through this alone.
Kimberly, wife to Jamie
Miscarriage at 10 weeks - February 14, 2009
Miscarriage of twin boys at 11 weeks - September 21, 2009
Chemical pregnancy - January 9, 2010
Miscarriage at 10 weeks - April 21, 2010
Miscarriage at 7 weeks - October 22, 2010
Miscarriage at 10 weeks - May 14, 2011
Miscarriage at 17 weeks - December 7, 2011 (My sweet little Joshua had Achondrogenesis type 2)
Miscarriage at 5 weeks - June 5, 2013

All test results normal. Reason for RPL unknown.

Annabel born healthy at 35 weeks - May 22, 2014
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August 16th, 2010, 09:03 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
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I am very open about my losses. I usually gage weather I think they can handle it or be freaked out. We told everyone with the first loss. We had no reason to think anything would happen. We were also 15 weeks when we found out there was something wrong. The second time I truly believed that everything would be ok. So I wasn't worried about sharing the news. I posted on Facebook and still have it in my little bio box. I also have a tattoo that takes up 1/4 of my back so when I wear tank tops you can see it . I don't like it being a little dirty secret.

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie

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August 18th, 2010, 01:59 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 18,680
Our close friends and family have walked our journey with us and know everything. It was only after Mak was born that I was able to freely share our true struggle with infertility and the losses with others. I feel comfortable enough to share if it comes up in conversation. It's a part of me and knitted into the very fibre of my being and made me who I am today.

With that said, only my parents and middle sister know about our recent loss. It hasn't come up in coversation with DH's family. They have enough going on with MIL back in chemo.
Thank you Claire1977 for my adorable siggy
For the special little one in your life!
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August 18th, 2010, 10:02 PM
lindseyp1019's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Fredericksburg, VA
Posts: 5,621
Not many people know, only my close friends. To me, I feel like its private and I don't want too many people to know about it. I don't know if its embarresment, fear, orI don't want people to feel bad for me I don't want to jinx it. I guess a combination of all of them.

*Lindsey, proud mamma to Kyle and Cade!*
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