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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss


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May 4th, 2011, 09:07 PM
Halloween81's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1,236
Has anyone considered or tried gestational surrogacy (using your own embryos)? Dh and I have been discussing this route, we were also thinking of adoption but Dh really wants to try for a genetic child. I asked the recurrent miscarriage dr about it in passing and she said that it might not work because our problem might be a genetic one (one that doesn't show up through karyotyping). Overall, it's a tough decision because of the fact that we don't know what's causing my RPL and we don't know if taking my body out of the picture will help. I just feel like we need to try something different.
Kimberly, wife to Jamie
Miscarriage at 10 weeks - February 14, 2009
Miscarriage of twin boys at 11 weeks - September 21, 2009
Chemical pregnancy - January 9, 2010
Miscarriage at 10 weeks - April 21, 2010
Miscarriage at 7 weeks - October 22, 2010
Miscarriage at 10 weeks - May 14, 2011
Miscarriage at 17 weeks - December 7, 2011 (My sweet little Joshua had Achondrogenesis type 2)
Miscarriage at 5 weeks - June 5, 2013

All test results normal. Reason for RPL unknown.

Annabel born healthy at 35 weeks - May 22, 2014
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May 5th, 2011, 12:45 AM
Leffew's Avatar is baking!
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,032
I'm not sure I could justify spending the money on surrogacy. However, I may feel differently if we didn't have a biological child already. Adoption is in my future. Not so near future. And it really doesn't matter to me if we get an infant, toddler, child, or anything. I just want to eventually add more to my family. Since my body won't do it, I'm happy to welcome any child into my family that needs a home.

<--- again!
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May 5th, 2011, 08:21 AM
ambee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 5,740
It was never something I strongly considered, though I do think it's a beautiful thing. For me it was a little heartbreaking to imagine someone else carrying my child. It's not for everyone, but again it's a beautiful thing for those that are comfortable with it.

*Thank you so much to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!*

Sophie Lucille: In my life for a moment, in my heart for a lifetime. May 25th, 2006 at 16 weeks.
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May 5th, 2011, 09:03 AM
*SamF*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I haven't because carrying the pregnancy hasn't been an issue for me. But I think I agree I think it's a beautiful thing for those who do need/ do it.

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May 5th, 2011, 02:57 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Location: Wisconsin
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not yet, but we'll see what the future holds. I did offer to be a surrogate to a family member who had multiple miscarriages when I was 19, but the age requirement is much higher where I lived (28+).
1798 Days to Conceive our Miracle!
Baby Girl Due August 7th 2017!!

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May 5th, 2011, 06:04 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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Location: Washington
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We have never considered it but then we had/have two children before our losses. I am not sure if I could/would do that before adoption. I think it is a beautiful gift of life and have thought if I had an easier time with pregnancy it would be wonderful to help others. I hope it works out for you one way or the other.

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie

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May 5th, 2011, 06:55 PM
Addaboy's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Near Cleveland, OH
Posts: 372
It's in the back of our minds. We have a couple of offers to be one for us. So, we won't have to pay an agency. Just do some simple legal work & what not.
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May 5th, 2011, 07:19 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
I would be a surrogate if I could, but I don't think I would have gone that route. There is an amazing thing with it. I love that the option is there! I am also a potential egg donor. My SIL offered it to me when we were having issues so it is something that I thought of, but found it wasn't for us.

Thank you *kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!

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May 6th, 2011, 06:48 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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We've also had a couple of people offer to be a surrogate for us. But like you we don't have a cause. In fact, we've been told it's likely a genetic issue that didn't show up on karyotyping. Therefore, we've decided that it's not for us. That and the fact that I would have a hard time trusting anyone else to carry my baby and care for it the way I would during those 9 months.

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
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May 6th, 2011, 02:00 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,238
I have thought of it, but the only person who I would trust to carry my baby (my sister) already told me she would never do it. It definitely is a great thing that the option is available for people.

Thank you Katie (.:Shortcake:.) for my beautiful siggy!!

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May 8th, 2011, 09:18 AM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 11,023
I would do it, and I have considered it.

I adopted older children and that was a wild ride and if I knew then what I was really getting into I think I would have passed on the oppertunity. Andrew was 5 1/2 when I got him and Tyler was 2 1/2. I didn't get them at the same time.

If you do have an oppertunity to adopted older children keep in mind that a child who has had a stable consistant bad parent for the first four years is better than a toddler who has been passed around.
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May 11th, 2011, 07:50 AM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,741
It is very expensive to get a surrogate, but I believe that it is up to each individual. Be prepared for a lot of ups and downs, and make sure you trust your surrogate. Good luck!

Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy!
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May 11th, 2011, 09:01 AM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,472
I would for sure use one... One of my good friends that currently lives with us, that I have known for years, and was my maid of honor at my wedding offered to surrogate after she has her first child (she isn't married or TTC yet so probably a couple years) I am gonna do EVERYTHING I can do first... I will see many RE and and have more miscarriages before I'll just let her carry my child... But yes if I can never carry to term I would take her up on her offer. That's what friends are for.

Forever missing my 3 angel babies. Sep 2010, Nov 2010, Jan 2011
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