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Absolutely, Hands down Stupidest thing someone's said to you...

Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss


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November 16th, 2012, 10:16 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
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about your losses?

For me it was DH's very tentative, quiet.. already knowing he's being an azzhat "But it wasn't really a baby....????" after losing Hope in July. I got so mad that he doesn't even know I named her, and got 0 say in it.

Before that it was "you didn't want his baby anyway, he's a loser." Well yes, he was a loser... who was sleeping around on me.. but it was still MY baby and yes I did want her very much.
1798 Days to Conceive our Miracle!
Baby Girl Due August 7th 2017!!

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November 16th, 2012, 11:15 PM
*JenJen*'s Avatar impatiently waiting
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: west, but east. south, but not north.
Posts: 7,853
This is god's way of telling you that you aren't ready to be a parent.

I've sadly heard that one far too many times.

My Blog
Me: 27, PCOS, ENDO, RPL, severe vitamin D defficiency
Him: 36, severe MFI post VR but counts climbing

2006-2015 7+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
Multiple early losses between 3 and 8 weeks.

IVF referral in= 7/2017
RE Appt #1- 8/22/2017- doctor swears I don't have PCOS or RPL, go VEGAN to cure all
RE Appt #2- 8/24/2017- sono shows clear cysts, high afc, all bloodwork comes back PCOS typical

PAUSED UNTIL JANUARY 2018 to find a new IVF clinic

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November 18th, 2012, 12:21 AM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 11,023
Honestly you should stop. It's hard on the body and you aren't getting any younger

This was from my cousin, who's girlfriend is 16 weeks pregnant. Her first son died within hours of being born. Her second child was born after she was on a lot of bed rest. His first wife had multiples losses.
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November 18th, 2012, 10:49 AM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In the Wild and Wonderful
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"Well at least you decided you were done so it's not that big of a deal." From my MIL. DH decided we are done. Not me. And losing Onyx was one of the hardest things ever.
Me: B 28
DF: S 29

DSD:S 12
DD: A 6 Autism, Global Developmental Delays

Getting Married 6/11/16!!!

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November 18th, 2012, 12:00 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Illinois
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Last edited by ZoeChloeMommy; November 21st, 2012 at 10:19 AM.
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November 19th, 2012, 07:47 AM
Mom 2 Avery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Why celebrate Mother's Day, you're not a mother...

My sister said this the first Mother's Day after Avery's birth. I was devastated! She was telling me what she wanted for Mother's Day and when I mentioned what I wanted, I wasn't even "worthy" of a stinkin gift??? My sister died in 2007 but this haunts me often
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November 19th, 2012, 10:09 AM
docsmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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"at least you HAVE a child. the one you say you lost wasn't a child, it was a fetus"
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November 19th, 2012, 06:16 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Location: Wisconsin
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*hugs Dawn and Traci*

Dawn.. I've had that one said a few times. Someone actually said to me this year "You can celebrate mother's day now, cause you've got Reme (my step son), and not just some miscarried babies you seem to think made you a mom."

Traci.. you can slap me if we ever get to meet face to face. Because I'm totally guilty of saying/thinking the first half of what someone said to you. I've never said it TO the person, but I've said it .
1798 Days to Conceive our Miracle!
Baby Girl Due August 7th 2017!!

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November 23rd, 2012, 03:22 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
I think the one I felt the worst about is "I don't why you'd keep doing this to yourself"...

and now, when I want another baby - NO ONE is on my side - they all think I should have had "enough of that by now". Mind you I was always pretty open that I wanted a lot of kids - I reluctantly agreed to 4 when Dh & I started trying & now settling on two feels to me like one more thing I am loosing. I have no idea if we will or won't TTC - but I guess my feeling is that it seems like after all I have been through, I feel like people's attitudes reflect "you should be happy with what you have" and I AM. I just feel like it is crap when someone will say that to me, after all I have been through to have the two I have & then NOT say that to EVERY other woman out there with two kids who wants a third. Why is it that because I have had so much to endure in regards to TTC that somehow I am seen as ungrateful (which believe me I most certainly am not) & it is somehow acceptable to tell me what *I* should be happy with?
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet

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November 26th, 2012, 01:28 PM
RinkMom's Avatar Super Hockey Mom
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,524
It's a toss up between
"Chin up" from the young intern when I was lying in my back hooked up to two IVs in case I needed a transfusion while delivering the placenta after delivering my baby at 16 weeks at home. That was 6 years ago and I will never forget it.

Or the idiot who realized I had lost the baby because I 'wasn't chubby anymore' said
"Why would anyone in their right mind want five kids anyway?"
*********Formerly Soon2B5*********
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