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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss


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November 28th, 2012, 08:18 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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What's the best piece of advice you've received since you started your journey? Would you give the same advice to someone else?

What's the best piece of advice you would give to someone who's having their first miscarriage?
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November 29th, 2012, 02:07 PM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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Advice I've been given? Um...name the babies. It helped so much! Yes, I do give this advice out.

For a first loss, it's ok to cry. You'll never be over it, and that is ok. You lost a child, it is a life-;ong grieving process.

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Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
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November 29th, 2012, 06:29 PM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
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That it's ok to cry when you need to. Even if it's been a while since the loss. Grievig doesn't stop after a week or two. Yes I give this advice out.

For someone going through it for the first time? Give yourself time. Don't expect to be completely over it in a month. It can take a while for the hurt to stop. And then when you get uset becaue you realize that you didn't cry about it that day and you think that you forgot about the baby. Breathe, yu wll never forget your baby you just learned how t go on with life.
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December 8th, 2012, 01:31 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am not sure the best advice I got - it's been a long time ago now & I think at that time I was muddling my way through with some other mommas that were newer to loss & I didn't have anyone that had BTDT to talk to me...

The advice I give? Don't tell people "I'm okay" they often misinterpret that to mean you're "over it" and like you don't need support. Tell them more something like "I will be okay"...which implies you aren't in need of a major intervention NOR that you feel fine RIGHT now, but that you are "okay"... I also tell them to expect good days & bad & that they may think they are doing really good & then suddenly have a tough patch... it's all okay. It's part of the journey & there is no right or wrong way to grieve nor is there any timeline you are supposed to follow. You just feel how you feel when you feel it.
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December 8th, 2012, 08:22 AM
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Best advice? Not sure I guess that it's ok to cry. Or that m/c is normal, you're not "abnormal" for having them.

For a first timer- give yourself time, dont try to be a hero.
The first time I went to work right away. I kept telling myself, "it's ok, no need to miss work". I had physical complications, not to mention my emotional state.
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December 8th, 2012, 02:28 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Why don't I ever answer my own questions?

Best advice: Allow yourself to grieve. Before that, I bottled it all up inside and would just randomly blow my top and sob for days.

Advice I'd give a newbie: Allow yourself to grieve, name your babies, and never take no for an answer from a doctor. You have the right to know, especially for an 8w+ loss.
1798 Days to Conceive our Miracle!
Baby Girl Due August 7th 2017!!

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