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Best advice you have gotten

Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss


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August 3rd, 2006, 04:14 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
What is the best advice you could give or have received following loss....

Perhaps we can make it into a sticky I was thinking...if you all might feel generous enough to share.
(I'll offer the info to Astrid as well if she wants to share it)

My best advice was to take care of myself. I hadn't been eating or sleeping - I was doing lots of coffee & cigarettes, etc - just being completley hateful toward my body after my 2nd loss. I needed someone to remind me to love me....
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet

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August 3rd, 2006, 04:24 PM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,732
That it's OK to cry, vent, rant, be quiet, be short-tempered, whatever you need to work through the emotion instead of avoiding it.

Also to get lots of rest.

Great idea for a sticky, Beckie!
Do not sorrow; the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10
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August 4th, 2006, 12:35 AM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 2,991
I had so many people telling me to "get over it" that it was all I could do to not think I was crazy for mourning souls I never knew. Until finally an online friend told me the saying I have adopted forever..."you will never GET OVER this...but you will get THROUGH it and learn to live WITH it"...
This bit of advice validated all that I felt and allowed me the courage to move forward...knowing I was not "letting go" per say of my babies but continuing on in my journey of life with some hard life lessons and an immense amount of strength and depth.
Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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August 4th, 2006, 07:43 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 18,680
I've been really needing to take heed with this great advice and even my own (it's been a rough week).

The best thing I discovered was make yourself #1 for a change. Our bodies have gone through so much and our emotions are all over the place. Now is the time to focus on you and take it to a slower pace for a bit. Cry if you feel it, get angry if you feel it, laugh if you feel it (and it's okay to laugh). There is no right or wrong way to go through this, but find what is right for you. It could also vary with each loss, and that's okay. There's no such thing as a textbook reaction.

Love yourself...
Thank you Claire1977 for my adorable siggy
For the special little one in your life!
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August 4th, 2006, 04:26 PM
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 371
The best advice I've recieved was to let myself feel whatever I was feeling.. And to understand that there is an important distinction between being "recovered" and being "in recovery".. Similar to what Norina shared, you'll never completely recover emotionally from a pg loss, but you will heal..
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<span style="font-familyalatino Linotype">"I wish you knew how much you changed all our lives. But I know someday you'll see, if only through heaven's eyes."
I'll always love you, Lori.</span>
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