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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss


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August 5th, 2006, 08:42 PM
srs srs is offline
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Well, I went to a party tonight with a six months pg woman, and I actually did okay, and we even talked a bit about baby stuff. That is a major milestone for me.
I think since I've found out that I probably do have a problem, it has brought a lot of closure and allowed me to get rid of a lot of self blame that was still hidden under the surface. Intellectually I have always known that there was nothing I could have done, but emotionally was another story.
And now I feel like I have an answer when people ask if we're going to have kids soon. Somehow it makes me feel like I'm less likely to get stupid comments, because there's actually a problem, and people can wrap their heads around that (although we'll see). When there's no obvious reason, people give you all that "something wrong with the baby" garbage.
And maybe also because I really hate to fail, and it's easier to come to terms with that now that it I know I probably never had a chance, and it was my body that let me down, not my actions. I'm not very proud of that part of my personality, but there it is.

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August 5th, 2006, 08:53 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
I totally get what you mean. the only part that I hope you won't find disappointing is other people. I can' teblieve how often I have people as me "are they sure?"... I always say "nope - they always just throw out guesses & go with it - that's Dr's for ya". They usually get what a tupid question it is then...

I know what you mean about a certain level of closure though - at least it fees like you aren't stumbling around in the dark. I am glad things went okay at the party. I have been doing better with that the last few months, but then sometimes I don't again - so who knows? I think it's hit or miss for me.
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
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August 5th, 2006, 10:03 PM
srs srs is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
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the only part that I hope you won't find disappointing is other people.[/b]
Yeah, that was probably overly optimistic. Somehow i would be surprised if the insensitive comments ever relaly went away. And it's not like i've actually told anyone that in a casual conversation.

Occasionally someone surprises me in a good way. Like when my mom got totally pissed off when I told her the kind of stuff people have said to me. I had no idea she cared so much.

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August 7th, 2006, 09:45 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,732
I'm glad you survived the party. You seem to have made a good step in your emotional recovery. Beck's right about some people still giving you stupid comments, but hopefully you'll be stronger for handling them now. Just don't let yourself analyze those conversations to death! (you can remind me I said that when I come back whining about something someone said to me! )
Do not sorrow; the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10
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