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How can my family help??

Forum: Natural Childbirth


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October 5th, 2008, 08:28 AM
~Nik*Re~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 4,954
I've decided NOT to hire a doula. My mom and gramma are going to be there with me to help through everything.
Does anyone know any good websites that my mom, gramma, and maybe DH can read to help me through the pain??
I'm getting really close, and my gramma is here with me waiting. She wants to know what to do and not to do.
Thank you Jaidynsmum!

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October 5th, 2008, 03:32 PM
ragmama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Southern VA
Posts: 40,025
There's an FAQ page at Childbirth.org for labor support people, and here's another that I found for you.

Mostly, I'd just remind them to do what they see needs to be done...offer comfort and support in the most logical way...and remember to NOT get their feelings hurt if something they try isn't quite right for you.

Good luck!
mom to Rachael, 10 ~ Milly, 6 ~ foster mom (waiting on the next call)
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October 5th, 2008, 07:44 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: south eastern Mass
Posts: 13,088
If you can get your hands on a copy of the Bradley Method book there is a super chapter for the birth partner. It's designed for the hubby, but there is useful info for anyone.
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October 5th, 2008, 09:15 PM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington State
Posts: 13,080
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let them know that if you need them to stop doing something or START doing something they just need to DO it.

My biggest problem with my mom during my first birth is that wasn't really "in-tune" with me and thought the best idea was to talk to me during contractions to "distract me". But that just made it SOOOOOO hard to concentrate on relaxing. It was seriously stressing me out, but I couldn't articulate a sentence to tell her to stop. Luckily my midwife realized it and told her to shut up! lol

Tell them to follow your cues. If you get super quiet during contractions, they need to shut up and let you focus. If you are chatting and talking, take that as a sign that you want interaction. Does that make sense?
Kellisa, Mama to:
Courtney, Nola, Kya, Whitney, and baby girl #5 coming soon!
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October 6th, 2008, 06:19 AM
DoulaMama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,159
Also- talk to them about what language you want them to use. I recently attended a client who had a friend there- who EVERY contraction she asked how strong was that one. I finally got her to stop- but it was so counter productive.

I'd sugguest to them some using words like intense, productive, awesome as opposed to strong, painful, hard in regards to contractions.

a great book is the birth partner- but it's long. It would be good to have them read certain sections of it at least tho.
Cheryl, mama to Noah Paul born 12/26/09, wife to wonderful hubby Rob
I am proudly a homebirthing, excluively breastfeeding from the tap, constantly babywearing, bed sharing, attached mama to a high needs baby. He is a part time diaper-free baby!

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October 8th, 2008, 11:16 AM
~Nik*Re~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 4,954
Thank You Girls! I'm reading and printing out copies right now.
It's really getting down to the wire, and I'm starting to get scared.
Thank you Jaidynsmum!

Check out my FB page for cute Boutique Stuff for Boys and Girls

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