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I feel so trapped in the OB/Hospital route

Forum: Natural Childbirth


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November 9th, 2008, 09:10 PM
*Bobbie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 15,851
I *like* my Dr and *like* the hospital I will deliver at, but I am dissappointed in my lack of choices in the city I live in. The only midwives I can find all deliver at hospitals I like less than the one I am going to. I did the hospital tour today for a refresher in my mind and so Dave could see where we will go and what will happen. I had my daughter at this hospital 14 years ago and was happy with it then. I was also young (20) and just did what I was told back then. I did have a NCB with her in that hospital.

Now my biggest concerns are the IV.... I don't want one.... and the Episiomity.... I don't want one. I also didn't like the fact that I felt forced to be up and walking. I did finally tell them I was getting into bed and staying there. My labor was hitting me in the back of my leg and that pain was worse than contractions. Once in bed they gave me pitocin and I went from 4-10 in a very short time. I knew my body just needed to be able to relax.

I really don't want to be in the hospital 48 hours like they said I will have to. I just feel like so much of what I want is out of my control.

I looked up Hypnobirthing in my area and of course no one teaches it here. There is one Bradley instructor but her classes will not work for our schedule. I did read the book already so at least I feel a little prepared...and I have done this before. I just wish I lived somewhere else. <sigh>

Any advice? I could use it

I am sooo tempted to just have this little guy at home alone, but know in my heart I would never attempt that without a professional here.
Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (23) Amanda (20) Matthew ( 6) and Daniel (4).... RYAN DAVID 1/4/14 8lbs 10oz 20 3/4 inches!!! My miracle happened!
step-mom to: Stephany (24) and Krista (21)
step-grandma to: Wesley, Rosemarie, Scarlett

On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon.
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
On August 2, 2012 we lost Sarah at 17 weeks. Her pictures can be viewed at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarahdarrohn
There is no known explanation for my losses.

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November 10th, 2008, 05:22 AM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: PA
Posts: 17,089
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What about finding a midwife and doula to assist you with a home birth?

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November 10th, 2008, 06:39 AM
Posts: n/a
What about finding a midwife and doula to assist you with a home birth?[/b]
Ditto! I'm having a homebirth because I hate hospitals and it's waaaaaaaaaay too controlled. Also, you can refuse any of those interventions in a hospital You don't have to have an IV, you don't have to have monitoring, you can be up and walk or down in the bed, you can eat, you can refuse episiotomy etc. ... The hassle is having to DEAL with HAVING to refuse these things and deal with the negative lashback from the hospital. You need to focus on labor and your baby, not dealing with the stress of the hospital interfering (as this will hinder your labor).

Also, it is possible to have a UA homebirth. Come over to the homebirth board and ask about it!!
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November 10th, 2008, 08:03 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 10,040
I agree with the other girls. Is it possible to hire a midwife and doula to assist with the homebirth? If you can't do that can you hire a doula to support you through the hospital delivery? If so I would write out a clear birth plan and go over it with her before hand so she can reinforce your decisions in the hospital. Like Jackie said, you can refuse all interventions . They also can't force you to stay in the hospital for 48 hours. I know someone who was feeling great and the baby was doing great and they opted to go home after 16 hours. They had to take the baby to the pediatrician like a day or so later to get checked, but she said it was worth it to be able to go home early.


*Thank you kiliki for the siggy!*

Mom to Kennedy (2/19/11), Caleb (8/6/12) and Carson (10/14/14)Expecting #4 February 2017!!!
Life As We Know It
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November 10th, 2008, 09:08 AM
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Yea, you can also leave whenever. I took full advantage of staying because I had some terrible tearing and hemm's (blech!!), but if you're good to go, you can leave anytime
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November 10th, 2008, 10:01 AM
Posts: n/a
I'd suggest trying to find a doula even to help you at your hospital birth. If not, when you get to the hospital, ask if there are any nurses available that are pro NCB and have experience with NCB and request that person be your nurse. Also make it clear to your OB that you do not want an IV or episiotomy. I had a NCB at a hospital and on my birthplan I made sure to include no IV and no episiotomy and made sure my OB was clear on that and I didn't have either. Oh, and also, make sure whoever you have as a support person (husband, boyfriend, mom, etc) knows what you want and what you don't want so they can intervene and deal with the hospital staff so that you don't have to.
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November 10th, 2008, 11:58 AM
Posts: n/a
Oh, and also, make sure whoever you have as a support person (husband, boyfriend, mom, etc) knows what you want and what you don't want so they can intervene and deal with the hospital staff so that you don't have to.[/b]
Huge ditto. You don't want/need to be dealing with that when you're in labor!!!
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November 10th, 2008, 12:31 PM
kellyanne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,960
Does your hospital have a birth plan form? I wrote a birth plan, but then found that my hospital had a form that was even more extensive....I completed it and added a short cover letter. A copy was on file at the hospital long before I came in to have her (I brought an extra copy in case) I may have just been lucky, but the birth plan thing worked for me, everyone who entered my room informed me that they had read it. No interventions, episiotomies, etc. were ever even offered to me, as requested. I did have DH and a doula who did most of the interacting with nurses. When I did need to be induced because my water broke and labor never started, the doc came in and told me he'd read my plan and knows that this isn't the way I wanted things to go, but that he was starting to worry about possible infection. He gave us time to talk about it and when we decided to induce we had a conversation about how to still follow my plan as much as possible (the tub was out though, and I had to get an IV, of course). When all was said and done, the best thing about the birth plan was how things when after she was born. She was never taken away from me....they didn't weigh her for at least 1/2 hour, I think she may have nursed first even. No one bugged me about needing to do this or that with the baby (My birth plan stated I was okay with intervention if she had any issues, but she was great so no need).

Anyway, sorry for the rambling, but if you are going to stick with the hospital, I highly recommend a detailed plan and someone to communicate it for you (DH, doula, etc).

3 angels Feb, Mar, Aug of 2008
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November 10th, 2008, 12:38 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: south eastern Mass
Posts: 13,088
everyone has given great advice so far. I was at a hospital with my daughter and it was 100% intervention and drug free, BUT they did insist on monitoring the whole time with a doppler and my nurse was annoying and bad. Luckily I had my doula and I concentrated on her. She knew what to do about my back spasms.

How many Ob's are in the practice you go to? If it's only one, do you know what he/she does if they are not on call (who fills in) it is someone specific or random? These are important things to consider. If your doc is guaranteed to be there and they are totally on board with your wishes, you might be ok. But the doc is only there for the pushing, so it's the hospital staff that you have to deal with before that. Having a doula there really can help, and if your husband or partner is going to look out for you and is well educated on what to expect and what you don't want to happen, then that is a real plus. Having a birth plan is good, but you have to typically remind the caretakers of your wishes anyway.

Do you know your docs stats on interventions? Have you talked with him/her much about your wishes?
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