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Frustrated with MW

Forum: Natural Childbirth


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November 25th, 2008, 04:35 AM
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I switched back to my previous MW and I had my first appt. with her yesterday. I couldn't remember when my LMP was so I wrote down June 28th and just told her that that probably wasn't accurate - I couldn't remember when exactly it was, but it was somewhere towards the end of June. I then told her that based off my LMP (from when I knew it) and from my 31 day cycle I was due 3-26 and that my previous MW had me at 3-25. Well, my MW took my June 28th guess as if that WAS my LMP and told me that I'm due on April 4/5. I told her, "no.... I'm due at the end of March, I just can't remember my LMP anymore, but my due date is at the end of March".

Well, she pretty much ignored me and measured me and was like "well, you're measuring 21 weeks..." DUH!!! I measured small with dd as well! Don't you remember this? You WERE my MW.

As soon as she left I got on the computer and looked up my LMP and told her the correct date of June 16th with a 31 day cycle. Then she said, "well, we'll see what the u/s says".... Um... NO! I'm in the 2nd trimester! We all know that sonograms done after the first trimester are not that accurate in calculating due dates!

And no, I'm not concerned about what my actual due date is because baby will come whenever, however I'm very annoyed that my MW isn't listening to me and suggesting crap that's not accurate! I feel like I can't win I wish I was more confident to have an unassisted birth but I'm not.
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November 25th, 2008, 05:10 AM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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that does sound frustrating. Do you see the same midwife at each appointment? Next visit i would bring it up again, like casusally say "oh, i was wrong, i looked it up at home and my LMP was xx/xx so we can accurately get my due date now "

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November 25th, 2008, 05:48 AM
Husher's Avatar B & E complete me.
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Oh that's so frustrating! I agree about pointing it out again at your next appointment and hopefully she'll concede. Was she annoying like that with your daughter?

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November 25th, 2008, 06:16 AM
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On some things she was. Part of it is my fault though, I'm easily intimidated by others so I don't let on that I'm as smart as I am. LOL! She's probably just being overly cautious or something. I'm trying to think of how to better handle myself next time so she'll realize *I* am in charge.
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November 25th, 2008, 08:08 AM
LadyLuck's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think the other's had a good suggestion. Better luck at your next appt!
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November 25th, 2008, 08:17 AM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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gee that sounds familiar... lol

my midwife last time seemed to think I was nuts when I told her my due date. I had ovulated on day 60 that cycle. So she believed me but hesitantly and sent me for a dating U/S. The nurse at the office where I went looked at my LMP and freaked out thinking I was supposed to be 15 weeks and she only saw an 8 week fetus. They changed my due date a few days but I proved them wrong when Nola was born ON the due date I first told them! hahahaha

Anyway, even though it's frustrating I'd just let it go. the only problem that may come up is if you go into labor at a "marginal" time frame. most birth centers will require you to be at least 37 weeks to deliver there and if you go into labor when YOU think you're 37 weeks and they only have you marked down as 36 it could cause a problem. Maybe bring that up with the M/W and let her know you're concerned about her not listening to you. If you just be honest it may help.
Kellisa, Mama to:
Courtney, Nola, Kya, Whitney, and baby girl #5 coming soon!
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November 25th, 2008, 10:20 AM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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I agree, just be honest and tell her you don't feel listened to. Remind her you measured small before. I hope it works out for you!
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November 25th, 2008, 11:21 AM
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that is so frustrating, any chance of a different midwife?

Made by Trish!!!! <3<3<3

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November 25th, 2008, 08:19 PM
DoulaMama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I wouldn't worry too much about it. She just needs to cover her butt imo- she needs to have the most accurate time frame possible to legally attend your birth as your care provider.

Since she was your m/w last time and you were happy with her then I wouldn't stress over it. It certainly isn't important enough to switch midwives for!
Cheryl, mama to Noah Paul born 12/26/09, wife to wonderful hubby Rob
I am proudly a homebirthing, excluively breastfeeding from the tap, constantly babywearing, bed sharing, attached mama to a high needs baby. He is a part time diaper-free baby!

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November 25th, 2008, 10:41 PM
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Im sorry for your frustration. Hopefully its just a misunderstanding on her part. I hope she listens to your checked up date though. You probably do know better than her! Also, I wouldnt expect her to remember your last pregnancy. Midwives have many patients, about 4 a month on average. That is 48 women in a year! I might forget some details of certain past pregnancies too if I were them!
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November 27th, 2008, 08:57 PM
Alissa&Isabelle'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I didn't trust my mw either so I'm not having home birth. I want ua but baby isn't head down GL I hope she's ok or you can find someone you're more comfortable with.
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