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What helped you get through it?

Forum: Natural Childbirth


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January 16th, 2009, 10:54 AM
ShaunaB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I've often read that most NCB mama's will reach a point, perhaps many points throughout their labor, when they hit a wall, doubt their ability, or feel themselves wanting to give up and get pain relief. If this happened to you, please describe what the wall was and how you felt. Please be completely honest.

Then share what helped you get through that stumbling block. What is your doula? Your husband? Your midwife/OB? What did they say and/or do that helped you physically or emotionally? How did the form of that help change depending on what wall you were facing at a particular point in your labor and delivery?

We know our NCB mama's are a bunch of very strong women. But even the strongest (whether it be in mind or body) have moments when they might have doubted. Sharing this may help other women who desire NCB but are not sure if they've got the stuff to accomplish it.

Please share!
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January 16th, 2009, 11:23 AM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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With Courtney I got to that point definitely. My midwife had stepped out of the room and was talking to the nurse so it was just me and my mom. I turned to her and said "I don't know how much longer I can do this". Really I just meant that I needed to know how much longer. She went and talked to the midwife and i heard them mention epidural and transition (didn't really heard anything else they said so I'm not sure how the conversation went). They had me get out and be checked and from that point I was in bed hyperventilating BUT when they checked me I was fully dilated. So aside from the fact that Courtney was born less than 10 minutes from the time I got out of the tub, I knew I could get through it being pretty much done. The hardest part was that I let a little panic in and had a really hard time "recovering" from it, so the last few minutes had me with an oxygen mask.

With Nola I'm not sure I really hit a 'wall" it was more that the WHOLE thing had me having internal dialogue with myself that I was making the right decision.
Kellisa, Mama to:
Courtney, Nola, Kya, Whitney, and baby girl #5 coming soon!
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January 16th, 2009, 12:54 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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For me with te first NCB it was the fact that i had no choice. They were taking so long, not really as the labor only lasted about 4 hours total, to do everything. They did an US, and wanted me to lay down, I didn't know it at the time, but I was going through transition, I refused to lay down. The doc saif 'you can lay down in between contractions", I told her, "THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN CONTRACTIONS!" the nurse looked at the monitor and agreed with me...lol. I had actually asked for the epi, but she had other plans and was born just 3 mintues after I was moved from triage to my room. I had essentially breathed her down when I told them I was pushing, my body was not me. They didn't really believe I was ready to deliver.

With the second a lot of it had to do with proving the *$%# doctor wrong and my DH telling me I was strong. That I had done it before and I could do it again. He reminded me that when you think it is too much it means the end is near. I dug in and still thought I had a while to go because I was only 6 cm at 6 pm. Well, I had her at 6:25...lol.

When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7
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January 16th, 2009, 02:05 PM
niknok's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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When they put me in my room, I puked, pooped, and promptly asked for my epidural. My pressure waves were so intense, and on top of one another. I still didn't imagine I would ever be so far along. I just "knew" I'd never make it to 10cm, and then through pushing. I honestly didn't care 2 cents about NCB at that moment, I just needed some relief. But when they checked me and told me I was complete, I knew I could do it. Heck, I already had. That wall disappeared. I no longer even wanted the epidural or drugs, even though they offered them. I just wanted him OUT. There wasn't anyone or anything that really helped me through the next 45 minutes. I simply knew that if I'd made it to 10cm (by myself at home), then I could certainly get him out without any intervention or help. So I did. I really don't know what I would've done had I not been complete when they checked me.

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January 16th, 2009, 03:28 PM
scatney's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'll let you know. I'm so close to that point right now! i know I can do it, I just don't remember it being so intense!

I'm reading the NCB board for inspiration. Maybe that's what will do it!
Cole Harrison is two!!
January 16, 2009

Mom to Scott, Nathalie, Sydney, and Cole

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January 16th, 2009, 06:00 PM
LadyLuck's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Honestly, I can't remember hitting any wall. I was SO determined to have a NCB that I just kept trucking through the whole thing. My mom was there and she's an RN and kept telling me throughout my pregnancy that I shouldn't be afraid to ask for meds if I really need/want them, so I know a lot of my determination was to prove to her that I could do it. Also, my husband is in the military and he gets so much praise and is so respected and looked up to (as he should be), and I told him from the beginning that this was going to be my claim to fame... my way of being a hero. So I just kept that thought in my head.

My contractions were intense, I had horrible back labor, labored for 12 hours and pushed for 4 hours... it sucked, but I honestly just figured that's what labor was like, ya know? I was prepared for it to be hard work. My pushing did become ineffective in the water so I got out and onto a bed. I pushed for 30 more mins and was so frustrated that she was right there yet not coming out, so I just kept pushing, even when I wasn't having a contraction. My midwife said to take it easy and just wait for the contractions and I snapped back that I just wanted her OUT and kept barring down and pushing, she came out like 2 mins after that.
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January 16th, 2009, 08:53 PM
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when i was at home i remember telling my best friend to make sure i didn't get an epidural because i was afraid i'd end up asking for one. the contractions were just really intense and i wasn't sure how much i could take because of the pressure from them. and she just told kept telling me i'd be fine, and i was! and then at the hospital when they told me i was only 4.5 cm when i got there i remember being like "that's it???". but i just kept doing my relaxation techniques and time flew by!

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January 16th, 2009, 09:31 PM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I believe I was in transition, I was reconfined to the bed because my midwife didn't think my contractions were productive enough.

She left the room at one point, and being in that bed on my side was shear hell, I couldn't relax between contractions, so it made the next contraction more painful.

I told DH I wanted the drugs. he flat out said to me, Ami, you can have them if you really want them, but you know that if you have them, you are going to end up in a repeat c/s. And we both know you don't want that.

I shut up and did my best to relax, when the MW came back 15 min later, I was ready to push.

FF Chart**CrazyAmiCrochet**
Missing Our Angels gone too soon 6/5/10 (9wks) & 3/1/14 (9wks)
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Adam Michael 9/22/06 (c-section)~Nathan Joseph 9/4/08 (VBAC)~Lincoln Thomas 9/5/12 (VBAC)

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January 16th, 2009, 10:10 PM
Momof4Boyz's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That's my biggest fear right now.... the pain! I won't have to worry about breaking down and getting drugs because... drugs aren't an option at my BC! Maybe some tylonel... that's about the best I'll get LOL!

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January 17th, 2009, 07:09 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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I thought that through a lot of this labor, to be completely honest. I kept thinking "I don't want to do this, this is so intense". The fact that I knew I had no choice, helped me through it. If I had been at a hospital, I would have asked for an epidural I'm sure, but that wasn't an option and I'm glad I chose to do it that way. Plus the fact that I had done it before and I knew it would be over with soon. I knew the pain was just temporary and there was a beautiful reward in it for me.
Andrea, mom to 3 beautiful girls - Abigail (8) Annabelle (6) and Alexis (3)

Expecting baby #4 in April - It's a BOY!

Two Little Monkies on Etsy
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January 17th, 2009, 07:51 PM
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For me it was repeating the mantra, "my body was meant to do this". When I got to the point that I was telling my husband that I couldn't do "this" anymore, he would say, "you ARE doing it." The other thing that kept me going was thinking of ALL those women who scoffed at me when I told them I was having a NCB. You wouldn't believe how many times I heard, "Yeah, that's what I said too and I ended up with an epidural, c-section, etc..." I wanted to prove to myself and everyone else that this was something I could do. The worst wall I hit was when I was 9 1/2 cm and the midwife had to manually thin the rest of my cervix. It was painful but I knew once she was finished I would be ready to push. You CAN do this. Your body was made for this and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
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January 17th, 2009, 07:56 PM
lindsayb63's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Does the epi do anything for you post-birthing? Does really just handle things for during the birthing process?


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January 17th, 2009, 08:49 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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For me the epi left me stuck in the bed when I wanted to be up and about. I also nearly passed out when I did finally get up because it messed with my BP.

When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7
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January 18th, 2009, 04:55 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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Reading this was very helpful. I really want a water birth but Im SOOOOO SCARED!!!
DD1 (7) DD2 (6) DS (2)

16 weeks
4 weeks
8 weeks
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January 19th, 2009, 01:58 PM
momofemnry's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I sang through my hardest contractions and made jokes. I also visualized what I thought my baby would look like . I had music playing the whole time and I just melted into it when it got to hard,
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January 19th, 2009, 08:59 PM
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I don't think I ever really hit that wall....wanting drugs never entered my mind. During the pushing phase I did yell out "I can't do this anymore" but by then it was too late anyway. MY OB and nurse and DH were constantly telling me how well I was doing. The OB and nurse kept commenting on how relaxed I was and what an amazing job I was doing....that they had never seen anyone do so well with a natural birth. All that encouragement was really helpful to me.
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January 20th, 2009, 11:03 AM
Husher's Avatar B & E complete me.
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For me it was looking into my husband's eyes and seeing how hurt he was that I was hurting and that I may want to give up on my goal. I remember looking at him and saying "I want them to check me and if I'm not at least 7 cm, I may have to take an epidural." His eyes started to water and he got angry at the nurses for refusing to turn off the pitocin when he asked them to. I knew then that I couldn't take the pain meds no matter how far dilated I was and would use him for my strength. It turned out I was 9 cm so I was almost done anyway. I think it's the transition that really makes you doubt yourself but I agree that once you think you can't do it anymore, you're almost ready to push so just hang in there.

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January 20th, 2009, 11:46 AM
Radish4ever's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My labor went VERY fast with my son - less than 5 hours from waking up until I had pushed him out...
I was in transition most of the labor (from about 9am on...had him at 12:11) and it was kind of difficult to focus when my DD was around. Once she had been picked up by my mom, I remember sitting on the birth ball, telling my DH to push on my back during the contraction and then yelling at him to STOP! It didn't feel good and I remember THINKING to myself "OMG I totally see why women want DRUGS!!! AHHHHHH" but I did NOT vocalize it at all during the labor. Several times I remember thinking how hard it was. I remember at one point, my midwife checked me (I labored the last 2 hours on the toilet prior to pushing) and I said "I don't know if I can take many more hours of this...." and she said, "Oh, honey, you don't have a few more hours..you're almost there!" That encouragement was GOLDEN!
Mom to Grace, Michael, Heath, and Charlie
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January 20th, 2009, 08:53 PM
Katty85's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I didn't hit a wall and want drugs, but I did cry that I couldn't do it, the thing that got me throught that was my midwives, with all three labors I had great midwives that encouraged me and told me what a great job I was doing the whole time.
My wall was pushing, I was soo tired from my long labor with Ethan that I had hardly any energy My midwives where so encouraging though, they talked me through. It was pushing with Maddy two more because of the pain. I didn't hit a wall with Christian though, I think that the water had alot to do wit it.
Ethan 13
Madison 11
Harrison 9
Christian 8

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January 22nd, 2009, 12:34 PM
TheOtherMichelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Reading through this just reinforces to me how atypical my labor was. I was dealing with the contractions okay.. they hurt but I was able to breathe through them for a long time. Then there came a point where I just can't remember any more beyond random flashes. The pain was really that intense, that I felt like my consciousness had retreated to a tiny part of my brain and couldn't break out of this haze of pain. I had no rational thoughts like you guys have talked about. I did end up with IV meds because I was just screaming my head off, and my husband thinks that's why I have the memory loss. But I don't know, the last thing I clearly remember was when the contractions got so bad I started crying through them, and from what I was able to piece together from talking to my mom, that happened hours before I had the meds.

I guess the good news is, despite all that craziness, I didn't get anything until transition. I would have kept on doing what I was doing if I had no choice, but since I was in the hospital the drugs were available. I was also determined to push her out so bad that I would have kept going all night, but dd wasn't able to take the stress so unfortunately despite all my preparations and work I had to have a c-section. I think if you are able to stay focused you will be able to get through it. I have read that when a baby has the presentation that my daughter did (acynclitic) it can make for a drastically more painful labor. I really hope to experience a "normal" labor someday!

Has anyone had an experience like mine or know someone who did? It was so different from what I've heard people say about labor both before and after.

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