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if one more person tells me I wont be able to handle it...

Forum: Natural Childbirth


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May 22nd, 2009, 04:55 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
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...I am going to blow up!

I know I don't post here very often, but I lurk here ALL the time and I needed to get this off my chest!

If one more person - in my DDC, in real life, anywhere, tell me that I "dont know that I won't want an epidural since I have never been in labor before" .... IM GOING TO LOSE IT!

I KNOW I do not want an epidural. I KNOW I will NEVER consent to one. I KNOW I can do it on my own with my husband and my wonderful midwife. I KNOW I do not want anything going into my spinal fluid that could have bacteria on it that could KILL me because it went directly into my spinal fluid.

Women are built to give birth without drugs. If we weren't then population would have fizzeled out years ago!

I won't even consent to an epidural if I need an emergency c-section. They will put me COMPLETELY under - my midwife already knows this! My daughter will be with her dad so I am not worried about her. I am more worried about dying than being loopy for a couple hours post-op. I've had surgery and I usually recover pretty quickly from the anesthesia as long as there are no pain meds. Pain medication makes me hallucinate, it makes me paranoid, and it makes me uncontrollably sick.

I can't imagine what an epidural would do to me!

<sigh>....rant over!

Did you ladies deal with people telling you what you could or couldn't handle when YOU were giving birth? How did you handle epi pushers (As DH & I call them!)

Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
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May 22nd, 2009, 05:28 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 12,329
I have friends IRL who have said things to me. I just take what they say and tuck them away in my memory to use for when Im in labor to help push me that extra mile just to prove their @sses wrong! Good luck to you, Im sure you will get the natural birth you want! Just ignore the rude people.
DD1 (7) DD2 (6) DS (2)

16 weeks
4 weeks
8 weeks
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May 22nd, 2009, 05:31 PM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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Location: PA
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I just laugh and say, "I have no choice, I am at a birth center, there are no drugs or epis"

I know it is hard, it sucks, people are mean. Doing it will be the best revenge.

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May 22nd, 2009, 05:55 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
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i wish I could say that I'll be at a birth center with no drugs or epis..it doesnt open til 2011 My midwife group is going to run the BC though and they are wonderfully supportive! I cant wait to give birth to my next one at the brand new birth center!! it will open right before #2 comes (as long as we conceive on schedule! we have to do IUI!) PUMPED!

Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
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May 22nd, 2009, 06:44 PM
cheezpoofs's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Buffalo, New York
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I don't remember anyone telling me I couldn't do it, but I might have had to rip their heads off if someone had said it. Since I do not recall having to rip anyone's head off, I can only assume no one told me I couldn't handle a drug-free childbirth.


Just because the pain is unknown does not mean that you will find it more difficult. You are strong and determined and if all goes well with the labor and delivery, I am confident that you can have a wonderful childbirth experience with your daughter without getting an epidural.

Congratulations on the baby girl, by the way!

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May 22nd, 2009, 07:27 PM
tygrss's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Texas
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Oh, I remember that. People especially thought that I wouldn't be able to do it because of my profession. I just smiled and nodded, knowing that I could definitely do it with the right support. Plus, I was giving birth at a free-standing birthing center, so getting an epidural was not an option! HA!

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May 22nd, 2009, 07:37 PM
amberjolie's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Ontario
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The girls at my husband's work were doing that, telling him that it was the worst pain they had ever felt in their life, that I should get an epidural, blah, blah, blah...

Here I am, three kids later and no epidurals! You just take it as it comes and don't go in expecting anything, good or bad. You deal with it as you get it. I gave in on #2 and asked for one, but didn't realize I was in transition (figured I still had a few hours to go). When she checked me I was at 10cm so I couldn't get it - glad I didn't, because I didn't really want one. Transition is the toughest part but it's also the shortest.

You can TOTALLY do it! I don't think badly of women who felt they needed it and got it, but I don't agree with them turning around and telling others that you can't do it without it.

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May 22nd, 2009, 07:45 PM
Momof4Boyz's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I get that a lot too! We are using a birthing center w/ midwife so drugs are not an option, which after telling them that they usually shut up. Or start telling me how "crazy" I am and that I should just find an OB so I can get drugs. *eyeroll*

Just tell them thanks and that there lack of support motivates you even more to go natural and prove them wrong!

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May 22nd, 2009, 07:53 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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Just remember, you have the last laugh after your baby is born.
Andrea, mom to 3 beautiful girls - Abigail (8) Annabelle (6) and Alexis (3)

Expecting baby #4 in April - It's a BOY!

Two Little Monkies on Etsy
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May 22nd, 2009, 10:19 PM
Sunny in CO's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I remember one of the two midwives in the practice where I had DD said to me "I don't know how you are going to handle child birth if you can't get an IV without acting like this..." This was as she was sticking needle into my hand for the umpteenth time, hitting a nerve over and over again. I was bleeding all over the little cloth she had put down and was very, very ill from weeks of morning sickness, which is why I was getting the IV fluids in the first place. She eventually gave up on that hand and tried the other, needle in with no problem. So... my luck this was the midwife on call when I went into labor. She also tried to send me home when they were checking to see if my water had broken. I was admitted to the birth center less than 20 minutes later because I WAS HAVING A BABY! ARG. I had a less than five hour labor, first labor. It was very, very intense but I never once told her I couldn't do it or ask for anything. Hope she remembered to eat her words that day....

So, yeah, only person that ever told me I couldn't do it.

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May 22nd, 2009, 11:07 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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I got that all the time from everyone, especially family members that tried for a NCB without any prepping/planning. It motivated me even more to do a NCB and then DH sent an e-mail to everyone the day Lily was born announcing her arrival and he made sure to say I did it completely naturally. That shut them all up!

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May 23rd, 2009, 06:18 AM
DoulaMama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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For me the best thing to do about those drug pushers is to prove them wrong!!!!!
Cheryl, mama to Noah Paul born 12/26/09, wife to wonderful hubby Rob
I am proudly a homebirthing, excluively breastfeeding from the tap, constantly babywearing, bed sharing, attached mama to a high needs baby. He is a part time diaper-free baby!

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May 23rd, 2009, 08:16 AM
soImarriedAnerd's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I like sarcasm! So i just say " WOW THANKS for your support, it means the world to me to know I have such a good ________, I hope someday to return the favor!"........that works pretty well to shut up friends and family. With strangers I do more mean "WHAT childbirth HURTS---OMG. Since you seem to know all can you tell me the closest abortion clinic --I do want to have pain---THANKS for saving me"-----I haven't even hear someone SAY something back to me on this one! I promise both think twice before saying anything again!
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May 23rd, 2009, 08:59 AM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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The BEST was when DH's aunt told me there is no way I could survive birth without an epidural, it's just impossible, there's absolutely no way I would be able to do it because she couldn't have survived without one when she gave birth.

UM OK. I was expecting #3 at the time she said that, and I'd already had 2 natural births in hospital! I was also planning our first home birth, so even if I did change my mind - good luck getting one at home! I just looked at her like she had two heads. No words are necessary.
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May 23rd, 2009, 11:03 AM
BellaBellski's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I -knew- I did NOT want an epidural when I had my DD, I did not want any drugs. My opinion didn't change while I was in labor ( and I was induced ) I wavered once but then stopped & thought about it and knew I could do it. Then a stab happy nurse poked me with a shot of Demerol without my consent. I was sooo mad. It didn't do A THING anyway, so I don't know why she felt the need to do that I hate drug pushers You CAN do it naturally!!

Proud Mommy to Mattea Lilian born February 21st 2007 - 7lbs 14oz &
Owen Markus James born October 21st 2009 - 10lbs
Forever loving & Missing ~Damian~ born into heaven August 13th 2008
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May 23rd, 2009, 11:30 AM
ninja_mommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am with you Chels, a couple friends who have had babies before say, "Just get it, it's great, you don't feel anything!" Well, sorry, I don't want to be drugged and numb while I bring my children into the world, not to mention a drugged baby.
Although, I think I would get one for emergency c-section because I wouldn't want to be put under for the birth, but to each their own. We can do it without the drugs!
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May 23rd, 2009, 12:42 PM
babypea09's Avatar Veteran
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Posts: 474
My husband is the only one that is supportive about me not wanting an epi. And I have to say it took a lot to get him on my page.

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May 23rd, 2009, 02:44 PM
LaLaRose3's Avatar My brand of heroin.
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 12,226
Originally Posted by andi2284 View Post
Just remember, you have the last laugh after your baby is born.
Exactly! That's what I did!


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May 23rd, 2009, 02:46 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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thanks ladies

I am lucky that my family (well dh's family, my family doesnt even know im pregnant ) is SUPER supportive of my decisions. Sam doesn't want his baby born all drugged out and he knows I handle pain by "walking it off" so being confined to a bed terrifies me!

The only reason I am opting not to have an epi or spinal block if for some reason I would need a c-section (it would have to be catastrophic for me to consent to it!) is because the needle goes directly into your spinal fluid...and that can lead to fatalities from things such as meninitis, etc. Plus I really think I would be so upset during a c-section they would have to sedate me anyway!

Sam knows everything and he knows if it comes to that he is NOT to leave my side until Brylie is out and he is to go WITH her and make sure they follow our post-delivery wishes. (We have a super detailed birth plan)

I am truly blessed to have an amazing group of midwives on my side - I work with 6 of them, just depending on who is on call on d-day will depend who is there so I have my appointments with a different one each time which I like! it's great diversity and I like hearing a lot of perspectives. None of them are Doctor like either which was important to me when choosing a group!

We are also starting our Bradley method classes June 2...which I am PEE MY PANTS excited for! I really c an't wait! Thank you so much for all your support and sharing your stories!!

Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
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May 23rd, 2009, 07:44 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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Location: south eastern Mass
Posts: 13,088
I never got too much of that from people really. I am not really the kind of person that people give a hard time to in general. I didn't talk about it too much either I don't think.

Our next is a homebirth, we will see what kind of reactions we get to that!

If it really becomes a problem I suggest just being direct and asking them to keep that stuff to themselves.
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