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What kind of advice would you give.....3 year old present at birth

Forum: Natural Childbirth


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July 6th, 2009, 05:46 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 904
First off Hello!! I've never visited this board before, but am 31 weeks pregnant with #2, due just days after my DD turns 3. I had a dream natural first labor and birth experience and will be having this baby at a hospital that has a natural birth friendly birthing area. I will be attended by a midwife. The midwife assures me that she will keep the one nurse that frowns on children at birth away from my family. I've got a friend that dd loves that will come to be her "person" (but she is almost an hour and half away). My sisters both had thier second babies in less than 4 hours. I did not even know I was in labor the first time, so I'm thinking that there is a possibilty Dd's buddy won't make it is high.
So my question is for you Moms that have had kids at your birth, What to bring? What was your experience? What about your kids? Anyone hire a doula?
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July 6th, 2009, 06:28 PM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington State
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I had my oldest at my second DDs birth. She was a month shy of 2 years old. She'll be 4 when this one comes. She barely made it to the birth though. Nola was born at 7:30 in the morning and Courtney wasn't even awake until like 7:15

I definitely recommend having someone to be her person. If you are worried about your friend making it, I'd see if you can find a backup, just in case. You want someone who can explain things to her or take her out of the room if she seems agitated.

I would recommend watching some birth videos (try youtube) and talking to her about what's going on. Showing her what it will be like (as best you can) and explaining that you are okay even if you are hurting is very important.

Maybe have her get a gift to give the baby (maybe even something of her own she wants to give the baby) and possibly a special toy/activity to do during labor if she gets bored. If you end up with a long labor you do NOT want a tired, bored toddler running around! Take some snacks too.
Kellisa, Mama to:
Courtney, Nola, Kya, Whitney, and baby girl #5 coming soon!
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July 6th, 2009, 07:31 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: south eastern Mass
Posts: 13,088
I don't have any advice on siblings at births, but welcome to the board! I'm Cheryl, co-host here.
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July 7th, 2009, 03:01 PM
justjaQ's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sterling Heights, MI
Posts: 19,640
i wanted to wish you luck. my son was a bit over 2.5 when i had his sister. we had my sister take him out toward the end-- being natural, i was loud, and just didn't want him associating that with the baby.
when this one comes, my son will be 6, and my daughter on the verge of 4. i will leave it up to them, if they want to be nearby. if they get too scared, there will be plenty of family and friends in the house (hopefully~ i have ridiculously fast labours) to take them off to watch a (loud) cartoon.

i hope everything goes your way, and i'm glad you've got yourself a nice hospital that won't try and challenge your birth plan!
msjaQ- 28, pantheist AP detroit mama to:
timothy michael, august 31, 2003, 12:02pm, 8 lb. 4 oz., 21"- 38 wks.
melissa may, april 7, 2006, 1:31pm, 7 lb. 10.5 oz., 19.5"- 36.5 wks
nicholas michael, january 31, 2010, 5:12pm, 5 lb. 11 oz., 18.25"- 37.1 wks
damon michael, january 21, 2012, 1:31am, 6 lb. 14 oz., 20", 38 wks
rainbow baby left me at 6-1/2 weeks on 09.08.12~ never forgotten, sweet child

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July 7th, 2009, 03:14 PM
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I agree that a back up person might be a good idea.
My daughter will be almost 2 when this baby is born and my mom is going to come hang out with her (we're planning a home birth). I want my daughter to be able to be there but I don't want me or DH having to deal with tantrums or trying to keep her entertained, etc. My mom lives about 40 minutes away.
Give your friend a call as soon as you think you are in labor so she can leave right away and hopefully be there in plenty of time.
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July 7th, 2009, 05:45 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
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welcome. I have no advise. My dd is 3 1/2 but she will not be at the birth. She will be at the birthing center but I think she is just not ready to see mommy in pain kinda thing. This is my first natural so not sure how I will react. If I had done it before and knew I was calm and all that I would consider it, but....
So she will be there to come greet us as soon as the baby and placenta are born.

Made by Trish!!!! <3<3<3

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July 7th, 2009, 07:56 PM
Momof4Boyz's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Florida
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BOTH of my kids were there for Hunters birth! They are 3 & 7 and both absolutely loved being there! My 3 yr old stood by the tub and watched the whole thing and my 7 yr played photographer (his idea), if it weren't for him I would have no pictures of the birth lol. I really wanted them to come and I'm really glad they were able to (my midwives are very pro-family at the birth, they think it's great to have older sibs attend). This was my first natural birth so I didn't know how I or they would handle it but it was wonderful and they were both completely happy to watch their baby brother be born! My son told me other than some grunting while pushing and saying "here we go again" when contractions started (although I don't remember that lol) it was quiet. It was a wonderful experience and I was very happy that just the 4 of us (plus my midwives) were present while we turned into 5! I should mention though that I did have them both watch video's of births many times while I was pregnant so they would have an idea of what they were going to see that way they were not scared by the tub turning red or any screaming that may happen because I just didn't know how it was going to go or how I would handle the pain.

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July 8th, 2009, 05:36 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 904
Thanks Ladies. I'm glad to find this knowledge/experience here. I did browse through our Sheila Kitzinger book with dd today and she was so so adorable talking about the pictures of the babies coming out, she was not at all into the drawn pictures, she wanted to see the "real" thing. Dh told her she could help cut the cord too, and we had a fasinating discussion about the cord that I think she actually understood!
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